Love Lessons – Dr. Charles Stanley

With countless songs, books, and movies dedicated to love, you would think we actually understood what it means. But the world has warped our view of God’s most precious attribute, leaving humanity longing for the real thing. In this message, Dr. Stanley teaches us what love really is and how it affects our lives. Learn how your life can be transformed when you allow God’s love to wrap around you and flow through you to others. For more messages from Charles Stanley, including this week’s broadcast, go to www.intouch.org/watch

God’s Messages

Dear Lord,
Today…….I am asking all my prayer warriors to say a prayer that may help others. So many people are hurting right now. Many are struggling with finances and need jobs. Some are facing foreclosure and don’t even know how they are going to make it from week to week..

Many are lonely. . Many are heartbroken. . Many are facing sickness and health is fading. . Some are dealing with difficult family members. Many have lost HOPE.. Tonight, let us put our prayers and faith together decree and declare breakthrough over our families. Financial miracles WILL take place. Jobs WILL be found. Our Bodies WILL be made whole & sickness WILL flee. Marriages and relationships WILL be restored. Family members WILL find Jesus. Heartbreaks WILL be healed. JOY WILL be restored and HOPE WILL be found. In Jesus Name. Amen!!!!!! Keep God First…….

Do you feel loved by anybody?
Somebody, maybe somebody that you can name that, you know, in your heart, that you’re loved by them, or maybe you feel like you’re not loved by anybody.
Why would you feel that way about yourself? Do you believe God loves you?
Do you feel his love for you or do you find yourself in a love wilderness?
You’re not too sure what’s going on with that part of your life?
Well, it’s a very important part of your life and when I look at the scriptures and see how many times love is mentioned.
For example, in the Old Testament 250 times in the New Testament 234 times.
And it’s interesting that John who wrote the gospel and three epistles, just what he wrote alone.
He in those few chapters 72 times, John talked about love must be important.
And of course, you’ve heard this verse for years for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whoever believes in Him would not perish but have everlasting life.
But you see, probably you’ve put that out there in the generalities God so loved the world.
You never thought about yourself. Do you feel that God loves you?
Are there some reasons you could say, well, I know God loves me for this reason that or the other or you just find yourself wondering about that going about your daily life, not feeling loved by anybody.
And for some people, you don’t have anybody that you could put your finger on to say, I love that person.
If love is missing in your life, a vital part of your life is missing because it is an essential part of every person’s life in this fourth chapter.
And if you would like to turn to that the fourth chapter first John, beginning in verse seven, listen to what he says.
He says, beloved, let us love one another. For love is from God.
That’s the source and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
So that helps us to understand whether we know God or not.
The one who does not love does not know God. For God is love by this.
The love of God was manifested in us that God has sent his only begotten son into the world so that we might live through Him.
And this is love, not that we love God, but that He loved us and sent His son to be a sacrifice for our sins.
Beloved. If God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
So I’m entitled this message, love lessons. Maybe, you know how to love. Maybe you don’t.
But I trust that you listen carefully and somewhere in here you’ll see yourself, you’ll find yourself, you’ll feel yourself.
You’ll know that you’ve been identified because God loves you.
He wants you to know what love is about and surely He wants you to love him.
So I ask you this question at this moment.
Do you feel loved, really loved by anyone?
And do you love someone that you can put your finger on that you can name?
Yes, I know that I love that person.
So what I’d like you to do is to follow along and see where you are in your ability, your capacity to love and to be loved.
And the first thing I would say is this love is more than an emotion.
Many people think, well, love is just an emotion though, it’s more than an emotion, it’s a commitment to another person.
So I would ask you the question. Are you committed to somebody?
Can somebody rely upon you trust in you? Do you have a loving relationship with anybody?
Because love is a commitment, not just an emotion.
Love also can discern true love in others like a radar.
In other words, when you love somebody, you can discern that love in your life, you can discern in somebody else’s life.
You sort of know when somebody loves you or don’t. And they may say that I love you.
And they may say, I cherish you and so forth, but deep down inside you may have a different feeling.
So when I think about that, I think about what is God given us?
He’s given us sort of a radar.
We know when we are genuinely being loved, it could be, we are being bought off, we are being convinced.
But the truth is, do you know whether you’re loved or not?
And then of course, let me say that love is not free God’s love for us is free from him.
But all of love is not free. Love demands something of us.
The very nature of love demands something of us requires something of us.
You can’t live in a capsule and be loving towards someone else.
And I think many people think they love someone and that they should answer your question.
Well, who do you love? Some people would have to say, well, um and they clear that throat and, and uh bring up another subject or two and say, well, I, I’m sure I love so and so, but you know, I’m not quite sure.
So let me ask you this. Do you feel loved? Listen to that question?
Do you feel loved? Does your emotional suit fit you perfectly that you feel wonderfully loved?
And I would ask this, are you going through the rest of your life? Feeling unloved?
If you do, you’ll have missed what love, what life’s all about.
You’ll have missed what love is all about. And love starts in Genesis.
11 God’s creation was an act of love.
It goes all through the rest of the books of the Bible, all 66 books and ends up in the revelation, God’s still loving and that same God wants you and me to know how to love each other, to love him.
So I ask you the question, can you name somebody that you really and truly love?
If you can’t you missing something and you’re causing them to miss something in your life, God didn’t create us to live without love.
Think about this love looks beyond the flesh. In other words, you sometimes people say, well, I’ll love him.
I love her and they’re thinking about the body maybe, but love looks beyond the flesh.
It looks at the heart, it looks at the spirit, you sense something in the other person, you connect with them.
There’s a, there’s an emotional relationship, a mental relationship, a thinking relationship, love encompasses all of that.
Number four, feeling loved. When a person feels love, it enables us to feel complete.
And I want you to listen this carefully.
There are three characteristics here that are very important when a person really and truly feels love, it enables them to have three other emotions that are very important.
And the first one is you feel complete, think about it for a moment.
If you feel really loved by somebody. There, there’s a completion emotionally in that. So it makes you feel complete.
It also makes you feel competent, capable that is loved Travis’s every single part of your body, your mind, your will, your emotion, it enables you not only to feel like you’re complete, you feel competent.
It gives you that search to think I can do this, I’ll be able to manage this.
I I can walk through this. And thirdly, it enables you to feel uh I feel worthy.
And those three words are very important, to feel complete, to feel confident, to feel worthy, no longer struggling to prove anything.
And when I think about that, I think about how generous and unselfish love is, love is generous.
Love is unselfish. Love is not about me, me myself and I, and if you’ll think about it for just a moment, think about the conversations you have with people, how often it’s I and me myself.
And when you get into a conversation with someone whose favorite word is me myself.
And I then you probably need to be very serious in the way you listen to what they say because more than likely they’re going to end up owning something from you.
Love is always thinking about the other person, what’s best for them.
And I don’t know of any more beautiful relationship than two people who fall in love with each other.
Genuinely love each other by who each other is not because of what they want from one another, but because they want to give themselves to each other in the right way and I got in the way in a holy way.
And so when I, I think about how generous and unselfish it is, and I think about uh um love, for example, is more fulfilled because it’s giving to someone and you ask yourself this question, to be honest, what pleases you most, What makes you the happiest?
What do you get the most gratification out of is when somebody gives you something you want?
Or maybe you didn’t particularly ask for it, but there it is a nice gift or are you more satisfied with the fact that you were able to give somebody else something?
What satisfies you the most? What’s the most fulfilling? Is it receiving or giving? Giving?
Well, I got two people said that the truth is listen, when, when, when love is at the core of your heart, you love giving to somebody, especially if they have a need and especially if you can surprise them and especially if they have been longing for a certain thing, a long period of time and God has made it possible you to meet a need in their life.
You see, we never think about the will of God in giving or asking.
We just give or we just ask.
But before you give somebody else something you should ask, Lord, is this the proper thing to give is this the, is this the right way to give?
Is this the right thing to give somebody you don’t give, to get paid back love.
And I think about this love does not give in order to receive love just gives because it’s love.
And then of course, love is forgiving.
Some people live their whole life with anger, bitterness, resentfulness, and jealous in their heart.
Maybe they were wronged as a child, maybe their parents wronged them whatever it might be.
And every once in a while I’ll meet somebody who has lived a lot of years in their life and carried with them the whole time.
This weighty burden of unforgiveness, watch this carefully because unforgiveness chokes the spirit of a person.
You must always forgive you say, but you don’t know what they’ve done to me and let me ask you this.
What about the cross? What did he do for you? Has anybody else ever done that for you?
No, Jesus died that you and I may be forgiven of our sins, our errors and our wrongs.
He loved us enough and loves us enough to forgive no matter what.
And so love is forgiven, doesn’t hold grudges and likewise love desires to express itself.
And when you think about that, think about Christmas, for example, what, what do you give at Christmas?
And let me ask you this question, I believe there was a time probably watch this carefully when we didn’t have much in this country.
We were sort of an agricultural nation.
And so we weren’t rich and people didn’t have too much, uh very much.
And so they gave and it caused them to give for what they did give.
And so, um they had to sacrifice a little bit in order to give.
And um when a person genuinely gives out of love, they don’t consider it a sacrifice.
You watch this love is like this whale inside of you.
That’s either all chopped up and doesn’t flow or it becomes like a spring, it just keeps on flowing.
It keeps on flowing. If you love somebody, you’re like an emotional spring that is, there’s something that flows from you that you can’t really express and watch this.
You know what? You, you don’t have to.
I, I think about uh used to a long time ago, I saw the, used to be whales that you had to draw water from and you put the bucket down and fill it up and you draw it all the way up and there it is.
That’s the way some people’s emotions are.
They have to work at getting up and then you can go down to the spring.
That’s an ever flowing fresh water. It’s always there. It’s always flowing.
All you have to do is dip it and drink. Love is within the sacrifice.
Love is willing to pay the price when necessary in order to have the kind of love relationship that you want.
Love is a happy emotion. Think the happiest people are people who know how to love.
You can have everything in the world.
Money can buy if you don’t know how to love you, if you don’t know how to love and to be loved, there isn’t anything else in the world that can take the place of genuine love.
And so the truth is you’re in need and many people think their needs physical, that’s not their need, they think their needs financial, that’s not their need.
If they learn to love, here’s what would happen. Watch this, mark it down when you learn to love.
It’s amazing how God changes the direction of the flow in your life.
And it’s not always one way, it’s both ways, but also there’s a flow towards you simply because you’ve learned to love.
And when the love of God flows in you and through you to others that’s gonna be love, you’re gonna feel love, you’re gonna experience love, you’re gonna begin, begin to experience life at its best until you learn to love someone genuinely purposely with all of your heart sincerely and purely.
Once you learn that you’re going to discover what life can really be like.
And when two people have that kind of love, you don’t have to have a big house and a big car.
You don’t have to have a big financial amount of money in the bank. Or whatever.
You know what, when two people love each other, it’s amazing how happy and satisfied and content they are because that’s God’s, that’s the way he meant for it to be.
God never meant for marriages to be based on money but true, genuine love and the relationship between Children and their parents, true, genuine love, not shield them off but love them.
Then I think about true love, really enjoys seeing somebody else happy.
And I think my mom taught me that a long, long time ago when I knew that she sacrificed for me, genuinely sacrifice and never even thought about it.
She was just doing what mothers do for their sons. She loved me.
She taught me what true genuine love is like.
And I would ask you, are you happy seeing somebody else happy, enjoying their love?
Does that make you happy? Would you say that you are excited about seeing somebody else who’s in love?
Because the truth is this love always ask this question.
What’s best for the other person if you and I would begin to operate on that basis, what’s best for him?
What’s best for her? What’s best for them? Here’s what would happen.
You would be happier, the other person would be happier and watch this.
When love is genuinely expressed, you may, you may love a person, but when you genuinely love a person, something happens to them and you know what?
They begin to love somebody And before long, all these people are loving each other.
That started with some one person I think about big families, what an opportunity they have to experience love with each other.
Love is fulfilling and enables us to feel complete. And uh God made us to feel that way.
We shouldn’t always be longing for something or feeling something empty.
And I think if you talk to most people, not everybody, but most people, you got a good conversation with them.
Watch this carefully before the conversation is over.
They’re going to mention something to you that indicates they have a need and many people are willing to carry on conversations with you if they think you’ll meet their need.
But many people are needed and don’t realize they are because they’ve never been loved, they’ve never felt loved.
They grew up in a family that their parents didn’t love them or the father and the mother didn’t.
And I think how dangerous it is.
Watch this careful how dangerous it is for a girl to grow up in a home and not have received her father’s love, tragic, tragic.
And I have seen it and watched it over and over and over and over again.
When a young lady does not grow up in a home where her father genuinely loves her.
She begins the journey of life looking for love.
And then when nobody teaches her the difference between lust and love before long in her honest sincere desire to be loved.
She gives herself away thinking this is the way to get loved and only the fulfillment of a few moments and then comes tomorrow.
And I would say to dads, you have first responsibility in life.
Once you have a daughter is the love that gal every day of her life and let her know that no matter what happens, you can count on your father to be here, you can count on my love for you.
Absolutely. Because love always ask the question, what’s best for the other person.
Love is fulfilling, enables us to complete God’s will and purpose and plan for our life.
And then love hurts when somebody else hurts, when you genuinely love and there’s love in your heart and you see someone else hurting, the natural result of a person who knows how to love is to reach out some way.
It may be a distant. You can only pray for them.
But if at all possible, you want to do something for them.
It’s like a, a person with a gift of mercy, you can have all the seven major gifts together.
But when there’s a person hurting, the person with the gift of mercy is the first one there.
That’s just the way God made us.
And so when you see someone hurt, how do you feel watch this sometimes when somebody is hurting and it’s a tough situation if, if, if, if you don’t have love you wanna walk away.
Now, the reason you walk away is not because you don’t particularly care.
You can’t handle it because you, you don’t know, you don’t know how to express love.
You, you, you, you may be frustrated and you’d like to express love.
You don’t know how, so the best thing you can do is escape, walk away, which is an indication that person has never learned how to love you hurt when other people hurt, willing to sacrifice uh when necessary.
Because watch this, listen carefully, love does not keep accounts. I did this for you.
Expect you to do that for me. That is not love.
I’ve done this and this and this for you and you’ve done none of that for me.
That’s not love doesn’t keep counts, doesn’t keep records and think about this.
For example, at Christmas, here’s a good example, Christmas time. Uh What do we do?
You get your Christmas list going? And here’s one of the questions you ask, you can’t deny it.
What did they give me last year?
And um who do, who do I need to give to?
So they will get their feelings hurt and is it not true?
We make lists and oftentimes those lists are governed by the fact that somebody gave us something.
Maybe you can’t remember what it was but they gave you something.
And so you make a list because you wanna put you, you want to not give them back, pay them back.
Love is not in the business of paying and, and receiving.
Love is in the business of giving with without any real expectation of return.
Sometimes love is very painful.
You can love somebody who doesn’t love you and it’s very painful.
You do one or two things you keep on loving them and forgiving them and loving them and forgiving them and loving and forgiving them.
And you may have to do that a long time in your life.
You may do it the rest of your life and the person never love you.
But you know how to love the person who listen, the person who loves wins, they win and because it hurts people want to give up and quit.
Sometimes love is very painful because the way we get treated, for example, in return and really and truly love doesn’t require anything in return.
If I love you, watch this carefully, if I love you, I’m not gonna say it because if, when, where and a whole lot of other words, if I love you, I just love you because you’re you.
Yes. Think about this. Jesus loves you for no reason in you.
He just loves you. Now, here’s what we do.
We, we, we, we have a difficult time with this love business because it’s like I wanna pay back.
In other words, if you really love me and I feel that love my first response human, it would be Well, what can I do for them?
And you know what, when somebody says you can’t do anything for me, you can’t do anything for me.
God knows exactly how to love us.
The issue is how do we learn to love him in return? And each other love is patient.
That’s a, that’s a tough one. Love is patient. Love knows how to wait.
Lust does not know how to wait. Love knows how to wait. Love is willing to wait.
So ask yourself the question. Do you find yourself in situations where you don’t wanna wait?
It’s dangerous not to know how to wait for love to fulfill itself.
You can love somebody and they can draw a line or they, they may say to you well, if you, if you’re not willing to do this, then this is over.
You can just say, well, thank you very much because you didn’t love me to start with.
When people put, they draw lines, they draw circles.
And if you don’t get in my circle when I want you to, then you can just forget it.
But love is very patient. Love is willing to wait.
Now, watch this when I hear the stories and see people who weep and weep and weep over things in their life.
You know, you can’t help but weep with them because they’ve been deeply hurt.
And one thing love does, it does not hold grudges is we said it doesn’t keep an account, it’s willing to forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive.
Love is very patient and love. In essence, is really a choice we make.
It’s not a feeling, it’s a choice. Now, there is a feeling that goes with it.
But ultimately, it’s a choice. It’s a choice based on who you are and what God wants for your life and wants to accomplish in your life, not on the basis of anybody else, no matter what they may say.
And the best picture of love is the cross.
Jesus, death on the cross is the perfect example of love. He loved the world.
And nobody seemed to appear to love him.
And you may be in a situation and circumstance in your life that you don’t feel loved at all.
And you’re asking the question, well, why should I keep trying and trying and trying when nobody cares, nobody appreciates me.
Nobody loves me. Listen, you just keep on loving and something will happen because remember this, when you love, you’re acting the most like Jesus and therefore he’s on your side, not loving to get loving because that’s who you are and loving has an awesome effect upon us.
It makes it possible for us to give, it makes it possible to love in return.
Because you see love is not all about me and this is where most of the world is.
Most of the people in this society we live in for the most part, it’s all about me, watch the advertisements, listen to what they say.
It’s all about me. If you want, if you want to look this way, if you want to feel this way, if you want to purchase it was you, you, you me, me, me, me, me, read the New Testament and see how that absolute is a contradiction to everything.
Jesus talked about. Jesus has the most awesome way of being an intimate, loving, genuine indescribable, awesome friend.
So I would simply ask you the question. Do you love someone? Do you love Jesus?
Have you ever accepted his love? If you want to really love in life?
Here’s where you start not reading a magazine.
Read the Bible is where you start not talking to others, talk to Jesus.
If you really want life at its best, it has to be rooted and grounded in the foundation of a God they love.
And that is my prayer for you.
And that’s where it all starts accepting the death of Jesus Christ on the cross is the greatest act of love ever known.
And he died to pay our, send that in all the mess you made of your life, all the bad things you’ve done all the regrets that you have his love just washes all that away.
He’s willing to forgive you. Listen, and he will remember your sins no more when you repent of them before him.
And I would ask you to look at your life. It’s not what you want it to be.
It’s empty in a lot of ways you’ve got everything money can buy, but you don’t have the most important thing.
And that’s love, love for God and the ability to receive the love of God, the ability to love other people and to receive their love.
If you don’t have love, you are empty. You are poor, you are wretched. you are needy.
And the only person who can satisfy that is the one that went to the cross for you.
And that’s Jesus Christ. And I pray that you’ll ask the Lord to forgive you of your sin, surrender your life to him, let him help you begin to live life at its best.
And that’s what Jesus Christ is. Your savior, your Lord and your master. Amen.
And father how grateful we are that you love for us is beyond their explanation and beyond our ability to explain fully.
I pray that every person who hears this message will take it to heart.
Get honest for themselves.
Get right with you Lord and begin living for the first time in their life, whether they’re 16 or 86.
Life begins at the cross with Jesus Christ. And we say thank you for that in his name.
Amen.