The LIFE-CHANGING Answer From God That TRANSFORMED Her Life | Melissa Faisst

Melissa Faisst shares her incredible testimony with Kirk Cameron about how she came to know Christ amid a career in the modeling industry. Learn about how Faisst overcome her fear of performance-based acceptance, eating disorders, and alcoholism, and the one question she asked God that turned her life around. Don’t miss this powerful episode of Takeaways with Kirk Cameron on TBN!

So the question that I had for god was, god, after all that I’ve done, could you still love me?
And in that woman. He said, yes.
After all of my my running to other things at are all of my going to alcohol or looking a certain way or the modeling world in bad relationships, he could still love me.
And that was something I’d never known my entire life.
You said that you grew up hearing about god and you knew about god, but didn’t really know god.
So if you were hearing about god from other people, what did you think of him?
When I was growing up, I mean, my parents, they were sort of a 2nd generation in church.
So we sort of went on, you know, the special holidays but my idea of god was, okay.
He’s important, and I need to please him. But if I get in trouble, he’s scary.
So I I really had this relationship, not with god as a father, but god as this scary task master that you’re just supposed to serve and stay in line.
Otherwise, you’re just in trouble.
Yeah. And that can be terrifying. Particularly when you think of god being all powerful and consequences are eternal.
So how did that mindset influence other areas of your life?
I feel like a lot of my life, I lived in fear.
I lived in fear of trying to measure up to what other people wanted.
So whether it was doing really good in school for my parents, even though they never said I had to get straight a’s, I was so afraid of not getting straight a’s and doing everything right.
And then Same thing happened in my relationships when I got in relationships. I wanted to do everything right. Okay.
I’ll change. If if I’m not good enough, I’ll be better.
So that was kind of the way that I lived my life was very performance based, very fear motivated, in everything that I did.
And so what was the result of that?
I mean, everybody wants to, uh, please the people that they love and want to be affirmed, and they want the approval of the people that are important in their life.
But you’re saying you took this to the next level, and it was like, I need to be a 4.0 student.
I need to have straight a’s. I need to do everything right, or, uh, what people won’t love me.
People won’t want to spend time with me, I will be punished.
Yeah. I think that deep down, I had this feeling that if I wasn’t perfect, I would not be loved.
I would not be accepted. I would not be valuable or worthy of love.
And, I mean, that’s Same thing happened in the modeling world. If I wasn’t perfect, okay.
Let me be perfect for you. Otherwise, nobody’s gonna want me. I’m not accepted by the world.
And so that really was the way that I grew up of trying to be perfect or you’re not worthy of love.
And and you also share in your story how that affected your relationships.
Can you talk a little bit more about that?
Yeah. So I actually ended up in an abusive relationship because, I mean, me trying to be perfect thinking I’m always the problem and trying to live up to other people’s expectations.
It put me in a very bad relationship where those kinds of things were happening to me, but I thought it was my fault, and I thought I needed to change.
How do you get healthy from that coming from that kind of a place?
I mean, how how do you turn things around and say, wait a minute.
This is all about this performance trapped that I’m in. I’m I’m looking for other people’s approval.
I’m I’m struggling to try to figure out, um, what makes me valuable
I was trying to escape it in very unhealthy ways.
So when it got too much, way too much for any single person to handle or do, I went to eating disorders, and then I went to alcoholism to basically just escape from this prison that I really was in.
I had put myself in a mental and a just a prison that I didn’t know what to do with life, and so those were the ways of escaping for me.
And it really wasn’t until I found Jesus that I found the true escape from that crazy rat race of always trying to be better for everybody else.
Melissa, can you help people understand what it’s like to be trapped in a prison, uh, where you’re turning to alcohol, you’re turning to eating disorders Because for those who are not struggling in those ways, it’s hard to understand.
Why would you starve yourself? Why why would you hurt yourself that way?
Why why would you turn to something that may feel good in the moment, but it’s really trapping you in something that’s gonna ruin your life?
Can you explain a little bit about the mindset of why do you stay in those patterns when you know they’re not good for you?
I feel like sometimes when we feel like there’s so much in our life that’s out of control.
That is one thing that we can control.
So it’s almost like it’s this place that there’s so much out here that I just don’t even know what to do with, and I can’t handle.
And so but I can go here to this place and no one can take this from me.
And this is it’s it’s it really is your place of escape.
And so I feel like for people that don’t understand, it it becomes your only safe place, even though it’s an unhappy place.
It’s because you don’t really actually know what healthy is.
I think people are also curious about the modeling world.
So many young girls in particular they want to be beautiful.
They want to be a model, you know, in in in in the Instagram world that we live in, uh, we wanna create this beautiful perfect image of ourselves and portray it to the rest of the world.
Uh, what was that whole journey like for you? Did you find success there?
And is it what people really think that it is?
You see, when people want to become models or become what they see in the Instagram world, I feel like they think that once they attain that, they’re all of a sudden going to feel fulfilled.
They’re gonna feel beautiful. Like, I’ve attained something, and and that is the epitome of what life is about.
But the sad thing is is once you get there, You’re still searching.
You get there and it’s actually very empty.
You get there and you meet other people and They’re just as empty and searching as anyone.
I mean, we look at people in Hollywood And we hear stories all the time of you should be really happy.
You’ve made it to the top, but it’s It really is a facade.
It really is this, like, smoke screen of what we think will fulfill us, but You’re still empty at the end of the day.
And so can you talk a little bit about where all this success led you?
I mean, people think, like, you’re living the life of of glitz and glam, and you’ve got all these opportunities.
You’re meeting all these people and you’re and you’re becoming famous and you’re beautiful.
But it actually took you to places that got pretty scaredy, right, as you began to think about your future and where you had landed this is not what you ever thought you’d be doing.
I actually got to the point where I was about to sign a contract with Playboy Magazine.
And in that day, it was very different. It was like, that was what all the model girls wanted.
And I remember thinking, how did I even get here?
I used to go to church and yet, all of a sudden, I’m making this decision And if I do this, it actually could affect the rest of my life.
Like, what if I get married someday? And my husband doesn’t like that I’ve done this.
There’s actual consequences to my decisions, and I don’t know how I ended up here and making this decision.
So as I’m asking myself that question, I started to just think when was the last time I was even happy?
Because I had gone on these last few years of just prison internally.
And the thing was is I remember the last time I was happy was when I thought back to when I was a kid and I felt like god still loved me.
And at that point, I thought because I was living a life sin. I was far from god.
So there’s no way that god could still love me, but the last time I was happy I remembered was when I thought god was pleased with me, and I was in church when I was a kid.
Okay. So so that that’s where you felt safe somewhere back in your memory. And so what did you do?
So there was a massive church where I grew up in Colorado Springs, and I was like, I know that they have, like, a thing for young adults there.
And so I’m just gonna show up, like, playboy model and all.
I’m just gonna show up at this church, and I went, and that weekend, they just so happened to be having a retreat So I was like, I don’t know why, but I’m supposed to go on this retreat.
And when I was on that retreat, I was changed.
There was a day where they actually had us have, like, a god time and open up the Bible.
And I ended up just opening in my bible to wherever it opened to, and it was the book of Jose.
And the story of Jose is that god tells this man to marry this woman and she runs off with other lovers.
But god tells him to keep loving his wife because that’s how he loves his people who run away to other lovers.
But that he still loves them. And I was like, I’m that girl.
I ran away and thought I would find fulfillment in modeling in relationships in looking a certain way, and I ran away from god.
But you would still love me?
After all of those things and it was in that moment, I decided, okay.
I wanna come back to god because this is actually how he feels about me.
So how were you treated by the people at that church?
I mean, if you said I I showed up, uh, you know, playboy model and all, Uh, did people know that?
Did were people looking sideways at you? Were what what was the reception like?
That’s the funny thing is, I mean, I did. I showed up bleach blonde hair, like, right there at a church retreat.
And, honestly, a lot of people sort of gave me the, like, the looks, you know, the I’m judging you.
What are you doing here? You don’t look like a Christian. Those looks.
But I met a few people there that it was as if they could see past all of the mask that I had on, and they could see me for who I really was.
And I remember it bothered me. I was like, why is this girl not judging me?
Why is she, like, looking as if there’s more to me because I I think at that moment, I didn’t know that there was more to me than this shell.
That’s all I had known that was that’s all that mattered in the modeling world.
And so it was like she saw there was more to me, and I started thinking, you know what?
There there is more to me, and they can see it.
And they’re different than the rest of the world and whatever it is that they have, I think I need that.
And and then you heard the story of Jose. So what did you do?
You read the story. You said I wanna go back to god. And then what did you do?
Well, later that night, they had an altar call for people who wanted to actually give their life to the lord.
And I just knew I had to go up. And so I went up and I got prayed for.
And I just remember when I was being prayed for I actually felt the love of god for the first time.
And I think it was probably the first time I’d actually felt unconditional love.
For the first time in my life where I was just loved for who I was, no matter my mess, no matter if I had anything to offer, And I just wept.
I just sobbed, and it was as if all of that prison that I was in, was just getting washed off of me as I was crying.
And I was a new person after that he came into my life.
He came into my heart, and he truly made me a new person that day.
Shamlyssa, if you can think back, what was it that you wanted god to do for you in that moment?
What was the most important thing that you wanted from god when you went forward in that church?
I think it was just wanting to know that that he could accept me.
You know, as broken as I was as not perfect as I was that he could love me even in that place.
I think that was all I needed, and that is what he met me with.
You said that there was, uh, a big question that you asked on. What what was that question?
And Did he answer you?
Yeah. So the question that I had for god was, god, after all that I’ve done, could you still love me?
And in that moment, he said yes.
After all of my my running to other things after all of my going to alcohol or looking a certain way or the modeling world and bad relationships, he could still love me.
And that was something I’d never known my entire life.
How did the community of believers pull the curtain back on the lies that you were believing and show you the truth?
Right after I got saved there actually was an internship at my church and they, you know, they prayed a lot.
They taught you the Bible a lot. They did all of these different things.
And I was like, I feel crazy that I’m supposed to, like, sign up for this thing.
I just got saved, and these people are all, like, awesome Christians, but here I am.
Showing up just because I’m hungry for god.
And I honestly think that that was one of the best decisions I ever could have made in that season because I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know what it meant to truly belong to people who loved you and fought for you and didn’t care about what you looked like and all the mask and what you do, they didn’t care about any of that.
And I had to relearn completely different values And I feel like it stuck so well. I had accountability.
I had people speaking into my life.
I had people around me and a community that didn’t care if I’m a model.
They didn’t care if I weighed a certain amount on the scale. They didn’t care about any of that.
And it truly helped rewire my thinking rewire who I was, and it was vital in that season of my life.
When you are coming out of this season of being so performance based, and I’ve gotta be perfect, and I’ve gotta be enough.
I’ve gotta be good enough. How were you able to change all of that thinking all of a sudden with god?
I mean, what what is it about god that allows you to live in such a way that says, I don’t have to strive to be good enough.
It was a very hard process.
I will say it took a few things for me, and One of them was just the word of god.
The word of god is powerful, and I knew that all I knew about myself and my identity were probably lies, and they were things that the world told me I needed to be.
And so for me, I had to start every single day and read, like, the who I am in Christ’s scriptures over myself.
The scriptures that told me I’m fearfully and wonderfully made that, you know, god doesn’t look at the outward appearance.
He looks at heart. I had to renew my mind with the word of god every single day.
And I would say the other thing was surrendering all of those things that I held onto that I wanted to define myself as apart from him.
So for me, I went through a whole season where I didn’t wear makeup.
That was huge to me because I didn’t know who I was if I didn’t look beautiful.
And my idea of beautiful was this perfect little way.
And so he just took me through a season of stripping me of all those outward things that I used to define myself.
And I was able to get free free from needing to look like a certain way, free from believing that I was all these negative things, and I needed to be a certain way.
And it was definitely a journey, and I definitely cried a lot.
Through that journey, but it was definitely worth it.
What would you say to somebody right now who’s listening to you saying, I totally relate.
To everything that you’re saying right now, but I don’t even know if I believe in god.
Or if he does exist, why would he care about me?
Why would he care about who I am and what I’m doing?
I think one of the verses that really helped me was Psalm 139 when I because I’d never heard that until I got saved.
It’s a very popular verse in Christianity, but I’d never heard it.
And when I realized, wow, lord, you formed me in my mother’s womb.
Like, you took so much time to think about my life and to to create me.
Like, you’re a father to me.
Like, yes, my my parents might have birthed me, conceived me, all of those things, but you were the one that wanted me.
You were the one that thought about my life, and I was fearfully and wonderfully made by you before 4, I even did anything in this world before I could mess up, before I could prove to you that I’m worthy of love, You loved me and chose me before even that.
You created me then. And so for anyone who’s feeling those things, like, God loves you.
And I love the verse that says that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for you.
He didn’t die for the perfect.
He died for the sinners that needed him because As you said, we’ve all fallen short from the glory of god.
We all need him To to save us, to help us, it doesn’t matter what we’ve done.
It matters what he did on that cross for you to purchase him for yourself.
And so For those that think I’m too far for god or I’ve done too much, no.
He he desires you. He died for you on that cross even when you were dead in your sins.
And so if he can do it for me, he can do it for you.
What would you say to the Christians, the believers that are watching now?
Um, what would you say to encourage them on how they ought to treat the next model, the next actor, the next whoever sinner that looks different from them and has been living a a lifestyle far away from god walks into their church or or comes up to them at school, uh, or or at the office.
Rather than looking sideways at them and judging them, uh, how should we greet those kinds of people?
Yeah. I think about this all the time because, I mean, it’s it’s just normal human nature to Look at what’s in front of you and then just make assumptions and judge.
But the thing is is is like I said before, the lord looks at the heart.
He doesn’t look at the outward appearance, even if someone who, you know, looks like a playboy model.
God can somehow look through all of that mess. Most of it is just a mask of insecurity anyways.
And he is able to see the heart.
And so I would just encourage anyone to to look at the heart because if god could save me, you know, and then turn me into who I am today.
I even look at my husband. My husband, if you’ve ever seen our YouTube channel, he’s covered in tattoos.
He’s like an X Games dirt bike guy, and he looks scary on the outside, but somehow god was able to get a hold of his heart and change him into who he is today.
And so nobody is too far for god.
And I just hope that us as Christians, we are able to start looking through the the mess through whatever the outside masks are and see who god created them to be.
See their heart and who who god really wanted them to be.