The Gift of Mercy – Radio Classic – Dr. Charles Stanley – Power of the Holy Spirit – Part 10

Do you have the gift of mercy? Life brings disappointment, failure, or pain to all of us at some point. In those valley experiences, certain brothers and sisters in Christ walk beside us, comforting us with the love of Christ. What motivates them? Dr. Stanley’s message, ‘The Gift of Mercy,’ will help you understand why those with the gift of Mercy lovingly visit the sick, earnestly pray with the grieving, and tirelessly reach out to those who are in pain.

This message is part of the series “Living in the Power of the Holy Spirit.”

For more messages from Charles Stanley, including this week’s broadcast, go to www.intouch.org/watch

When God created us, He created us as very unique persons that no 2 of us are alike.
He created us with different personalities and therefore different needs.
And And because we have different needs, God has created situations and circumstances in our life to provide for those.
And so He has given different gifts, different talents, different skills, people in order that all those needs might be met.
And because God wants our needs to be met and He ultimately is the great need meter, but in our relationships with each other, we have needs.
And God has placed in His body in the church those different gifts in order that those needs might be met.
So, when you think about all the people who make up the body of Christ, the whole church everywhere, God has equipped us to relate to 1 another in such a fashion that not only can our needs be met, but also that the kingdom purposes, God’s plan for the church and for the body of Christ and for the world can be met.
And it’s in this whole perspective of gifts and talents and skills that He’s given us that you and I look at ourselves, look at other relationships and ask the question, How can I use the spiritual gift that God has given me in a way that can accomplish God’s purpose and plan for my life, and at the same time, learn how to relate to each other?
So this is the last message in a series of 10.
The last 6 of these messages have to do with spiritual gifts. This is the 7th, the gift of mercy.
And in each 1 of these gifts, we’ve tried to describe how they relate to us personally, how they relate to others, and how it affects our relationships to 1 another and also to God.
And if a person will operate out of their spiritual gift, they’ll be more productive, more contented, they’ll enjoy what’s going on in their life much more, and they’ll find themselves more fruitful and a sense of greater understanding of themselves, their relationship to God, their relationship to others and why people act, respond and say the things that they do.
So when we think in terms of spiritual gifts, you can’t just relegate this to church.
This affects every single aspect of your life.
And we’re gonna talk about just 1 of those, this last 1 of these gifts, and they’re all listed in Romans chapter 12, uh, verse 6 through 8.
You might want to turn there if you’ve never noticed these gifts.
And when we talk about motivational gifts, we’re talking about simply this.
And that is those gifts that God has given, and there are 7 motivational gifts.
These are the gifts that God has given to each 1. 1 of these gifts is your spiritual gift.
Once you trusted Jesus Christ as your Savior, He gave you a spiritual gift given to you, the Bible says, by the Holy Spirit to enable you to achieve the things God wants you to achieve, accomplish those things that He set before you, fulfill His plan and purpose for your life, and teaches us how to relate to 1 another in a way that everybody is blessed in the process.
So if you’ll notice what he says beginning in verse 6.
Since we have gifts that differ, watch that, He created us all differently.
Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly.
That is, I’m to exercise that spiritual gift that God has given me.
Listen, if it’s prophecy, according to our faith if service, in his serving if it’s teaching in his teaching, he who exhorts in his exhortation, he who gives with liberality, he who leads with diligence, and he who shows mercy with cheerfulness.
Now let me say something very carefully here.
This is going to affect your relationship to your husband or your wife.
It’s going to affect your relationship to your children.
If you understand what your spouse’s spiritual gift is, you’re gonna understand them better.
They’re gonna understand you better when they understand what your gift is.
Your children, for example, as they come along, before long you’ll be able to understand what their spiritual gift is and you’ll know how to treat them much more wisely.
Because oftentimes we project on our children, our teenagers, things that, that really don’t fit who they are because they too, having trusted Jesus Christ, have spiritual gifts.
Now let me say this also.
While we speak in terms of motivational gifts, we’re talking about that inner drive, that underlying motivation that motivates us to do what we do the way we do it, think the way we think, and act the way we act because we’re not all the same.
And all the different personalities and all the different spiritual gifts that God has given, He’s given you a particular underlying motivational gift that suits you perfectly for your personality and the purpose for which God created you.
And as we’ve gone through each of these, we’ve talked about a particular biblical character that fits each 1.
And now we come to the gift of mercy.
And more than likely, the beloved John is the 1 who best fits mercy.
And of course, Jesus above everyone else, absolutely the epitome of what mercy is all about.
How does it fit us? What are the characteristics of a person with mercy?
And when 2 people who are married to each other, 1 is mercy, and let’s say 1 is a prophet.
That’s their spiritual gift. It’s interesting that mercies are most attracted to prophets, and there’s a reason for that which we’ll talk about.
Well, what about mercy? Well, let’s look at this first characteristic of the mercy, and that is the person who has the gift of mercy has the ability uh, to feel an atmosphere of joy or distress in the life of an individual or in a group.
And what I want you to notice is this.
While the person with the gift of mercy does not live by their, their particular emotions, they are extremely sensitive to other people’s emotions.
That’s the way God has wired the person with the gift of mercy.
A second characteristic that I think is so, uh, evident in that person is simply this, and that is, they are attracted to and understand people who are having mental and emotional distress.
A person with the gift of mercy, and I have seen this over and over and over again.
You’ll see people, for example, who seemingly are on a whole different level.
You wouldn’t understand why they would have any relationship whatsoever to this other person.
You see, you think, well, they don’t have anything in common, but the person with the gift of mercy is drawn to those people who have emotional or mental problems.
And same, the person who has these problems, somehow they just feel some tendency. And what is it?
It is God’s great mercy. Seeing a person in need, seeing a person and knowing the person who has the gift of mercy, what does He do?
In His lovingkindness, He draws them together.
The person with the gift of mercy will know it, see it, sense it, feel it, hurt with that person.
We walk right by them and if they don’t have some physical problem or some physical ailment, we don’t even notice it.
The person with the gift of mercy can sense that.
And sometimes they will say things we’ll think, well, that must be your imagination.
Well, I don’t, I don’t see any of that.
Remember this, the gift of mercy can feel on a level that more than likely most of us cannot feel.
And so, sometimes we don’t understand why they, uh, think the way they think, why they are so, so merciful and so loving and so caring and willing to go to the 10th and the 15th and the 20th mile to help somebody.
That’s the way God wired the person with the gift of mercy. They just feel it.
And because they feel it, they’re gonna respond accordingly.
Then of course, there’s the whole desire, uh, to remove hurts, listen, remove hurts and bring healing to other people rather than to look for the benefits of that hurt.
For example, a person who is going through some difficult situation.
Let’s say that they’ve gotten themselves in some kind of a problem because of their own disobedience.
The person with the gift of mercy is not concerned about that.
The person with the gift of mercy is concerned about what?
About getting rid of their hurts, helping them to get through this, relieving them.
And so, the person with the gift of prophecy would say, You got yourself in that mess.
Now you need to get yourself out of it, or something to that, like that.
The person with the gift of exhortation would say, Let them hurt. And mercy would say, let them hurt.
Exhortation, let them hurt. God’s working something good in their life.
Remember, Romans 828, He’s causing all things to work together for good. Let them hurt. Mercy says, let them hurt.
You don’t have any feelings. You don’t have any mercy. You’re not kind. That’s not Christ like.
And so, uh, the person with the gift of mercy can sort of respond harshly because, well, why don’t you?
Why don’t you see what they’re going through? Let them hurt.
And so mercy can’t handle that because from that person, listen, unless they can see the benefits, it’s just, it’s, they can’t handle it.
If they’re hurting, they need to be helped no matter what. But do you see the consequences of their sin?
Don’t you see how they got, that’s okay, that’s all right.
And more than likely sometimes mercy’s gonna say, Well, you know what, God, God would never let them go.
This, God’s not in this. And you’ll hear people say, God’s not in this when those of us who can see what’s happening and see why they’re where they are, we can see that God is letting them hurt.
He did let that happen in their life. He wants to change their life.
He wants to change their sense of direction.
And mercy is over here getting in the way of God, trying to stop God from doing what He’s doing because it just, it just can’t stand to see somebody hurt.
Well, is that good or bad?
Well, it’s bad in the light that sometimes that person can interfere with what God is trying to do in a person’s life.
But that’s the way they’re wired. That’s the way God made them.
He gave them this awesome, wonderful sensitivity to be able to detect what’s going on in a person’s life.
And if they, especially if they’re walking in the flesh, not in the spirit, they may just get in God’s way.
And, uh, here’s what happens. Remember this.
Whenever God is dealing with a person’s life, and here’s the father and here’s the person.
He’s got the pressure on them.
When you slip in between the person that God’s working on, you know who gets the pressure? You get it.
And sometimes a person can find themselves having great difficulty, even the process of trying to help this person.
And they’re trying to help this person get involved in their life, And now what’s happening?
The devil’s just working them over. They’re having a hard time.
They can’t understand why they are going through all this when they’re trying to help somebody else because they have no business being there.
And so you have to be careful of the gift of mercy that you don’t get in the way of what God’s trying to do in somebody’s life.
Now, someone else would say, well, we should all be merciful and we should all be understanding and we should all, uh, try to help people who are hurting.
Correct. But if you get in God’s way, you get the pressure.
Listen, the person that God’s working on, that delays what God’s doing in their life, and now He’s having to work on you and the other person.
Stay out of the way of what God’s doing.
And a person with the gift of mercy who’s walking in the Spirit can discern, this is something as God is doing, and I need to back off.
Let Him do it. Then I’ll be there to catch them when they fall.
I’ll be there to wipe away the tears.
I’ll be there to encourage them and hold them up when the bottom drops out and God’s through sifting and sanding and cutting away and working in their life.
The person with the gift of mercy sometimes can step in the way of God.
Then of course, there’s the greater concern for, uh, mental distress than for physical.
A person, for example, uh, who has the gift of mercy, they understand and they can have mercy and be tender and loving and considerate for people who have physical pain.
But if you, if you give them a choice or if they see 2 situations, they’re going to be drawn to the person who has deep emotional problems.
Because you see, they have a depth of feeling that probably the rest of us don’t have.
They’re able to vicariously, and to vicariously means that they’re able to get into, get under the pain and sense, that is, identify themselves with the other person’s hurt.
And the reason is oftentimes God will allow difficult and hardship and pain and suffering to be experienced by those who have the gift of mercy so that they can genuinely and truly vicariously feel what the other person’s feeling.
When you’re going through some hardship or some trial in your life, do you want to talk to someone, do you want someone to talk to you who’s read a book?
They’ve read a book and they have all the answers. No. You want to listen to somebody who’s been there.
You want to listen to somebody who’s been down the same path or at least down something similar to it.
You want to listen to somebody who’s felt the hurt, felt the pain, been in that experience and felt the distress and felt the discouragement and felt the disappointment and felt the hurt and felt the suffering, then what happens?
You’re real, you’re willing to listen to that person.
So, a person with a gift of mercy can get ready at some point in their life to do some suffering of their own.
So it isn’t just what they feel. It isn’t just the fact of a gift.
It is also part of their living experience.
And so the person with the gift of mercy, they’re gonna be drawn to that person who has physical, yes, but primarily mental and spiritual, emotional problems in their life, somehow they are there to help them.
And you will be surprised at the people that are drawn together, people who have an attraction to each other.
And the only reason you can possibly think of, and I can think of so many illustrations, and I’d think, well, what do, what do they have in common?
Nothing, except one’s hurting and the one’s the helper. Mercy is going to be there.
Then of course, there’s this whole issue of, uh, sensitivity to words and actions which will hurt other people.
Now, here’s what you’ll discover. When you finally say, whether it’s 2 of you, 3, 4, 5, 6 or 7 of you, and you’re in a conversation and 1 person in the group begins to criticize somebody else.
And, uh, what they say about them may be true.
And, uh, or it may be what you’ve heard.
There’s something inside of the gift of mercy that just can’t handle it.
And so what happens when you start criticizing someone else and you watch this, you watch this tomorrow when you go to work and somebody in your office says, Well, I don’t want to tell you so and so and so and so.
If you have the gift of mercy, you know what? You’re gonna blurt something out. Here’s what happens.
The gift of mercy will take up an offense.
The gift of mercy will find some reason to think about something good about the other person or something good they’ve done or something that they’ve said or how they’ve been helped by the other person, or they probably won’t say, Well, you shouldn’t say such a thing.
But they’ll just come up with a whole different attitude about the other person. Why?
Because that’s the way God wired them.
If we were all just critics of other people, we’d just have a division everywhere.
The gift of mercy is the cheerfulness part and the joy part of the body of Christ.
God’s placed those mercy people there to do what?
To sort of offset oftentimes our insensitivity or a sense of criticism or, uh, coming on maybe too harsh.
The gift of mercy will step up, speak up, and I’ve had it to happen to me.
Maybe I was criticizing something that I knew absolutely was wrong, and, uh, somebody else would speak something.
And I knew the moment I felt so convicted, I thought, that’s mercy.
They know exactly what I’m saying is the truth. They know exactly the facts as good as I do.
And here they are, want the, just sorta, you know, well, every it’s really not all that bad.
And after all, every body, nobody’s perfect, and I’m sitting over here because that doesn’t have to be my spiritual gift.
Now I can be merciful, but when I see something that’s deadly wrong, absolute rebellion toward God and deliberate and willful, I’m not gonna be, or let’s just don’t or don’t let it go.
Mercy is gonna reach out no matter what. What does it do? It balances all the rest of us.
Sometimes we just need to keep our mouth shut, don’t say anything, unless it’s a wise, profitable, fruitful thing to do.
Because you don’t want to go around criticizing people sometimes they don’t even know why they’ve done the things that they’ve done.
Then of course, there’s the tendency, uh, to, uh, react harshly when intimate friends are rejected.
The person who has the gift of mercy can be very loving, very kind, sweet, humble spirit, and all the rest.
But when they see their friends being rejected, uh, they can come on with being very harsh.
Be here’s the reason, and there’s a good reason.
With the gift of mercy, that person is very loyal, very devoted.
Loyalty and devotion to those people who have the gift of mercy is extremely important.
Therefore, when 1 of their friends, uh, someone they love, a husband or wife or children or whatever it might be, the parents, when they hear and see them being rejected by someone, it’s difficult for the gift of mercy not to say anything.
They want to come to their rescue.
They want to take up their offense because rejection is, listen to this, rejection is 1 of the most painful emotions people can feel.
Now they feel it for different reasons.
Sometimes it’s because they have been very, very painfully rejected, either by a person or by a group, by their boss, by somebody they love, by somebody they respect, totally ignored, whatever it might be.
And they find themselves, listen, in a crowd but emotionally all alone.
You can spread through a large crowd of people, a group of mercies, and you know what?
They’ll find the people who are hurting. They’ll find the people who feel rejected. They can spot them.
They can sense them. That’s the way God wired mercies because remember, He gave us different gifts, spiritual gifts in order to meet all the needs of the body of Christ.
And so naturally, sometimes they’re gonna react very harshly, uh, when they see these things happening.
Then of course, there’s the ability to sense, now watch this carefully.
I want you to watch this very carefully because I want to look at these words.
Look at this, an ability to, listen, to sense genuine love, genuine love and a greater vulnerability, listen, to deeper and more frequent hurts from the lack of love.
Now watch this carefully. The ability to sense genuine love, that is a person who has that gift of mercy because they’re loving and because that’s a part of their whole makeup.
Not only can they sense genuine love, but along with that becomes a greater sense of vulnerability to deeper and more frequent hurts from the lack of love.
That is, to the same depth and the same degree of their ability to receive love and enjoy love and express it, to the same degree of hurt and pain they feel when there is no love, when that person’s lacking love.
2 people who are married, for example, a person who does not feel loved and who oftentimes is criticized and abused because of their depth of capacity to love the other person, it seems that it’s much more painful for them.
And they’re more vulnerable. Now remember this carefully. Unless you’re willing to be vulnerable, you’ll never love anyone.
And there are a lot of people who do not love anybody. They don’t love themselves. They don’t love God.
They don’t love anyone. Because it may be that probably for a number of reasons, but let’s just mention a couple.
It may be that the way they grew up, they weren’t loved by their parents.
They’ve never had love demonstrated to them. They don’t even know how to love anyone.
They don’t even know what it is. And so, they don’t know how to love anybody.
But then on the other hand, there are those people who have genuinely loved, but they’ve been hurt, deeply, deeply, deeply hurt, painfully hurt, rejected, cast out, and now alone.
And so in order to defend themselves, here’s what they’ve done. They’ve pulled the shade down.
They’ve built this wall. They’ve encircled themselves with enough self protection that no matter what happens, they’re not going to be hurt again.
And so they refuse love.
They shut it down, and if they sense that they’re heading in that direction, they cut it off.
And here’s the reason, because they got hurt, deeply hurt.
And it hurt them so deeply, they just are not willing to take the chance of being hurt once again.
Listen to me carefully. If you’re ever gonna love anybody, you’re gonna have to be vulnerable.
You think that you can love someone no matter who they are and never get disappointed?
Never get hurt? You remember the old song, You always hurt the 1 you love?
And all of us have hurt people we love, and we’ve been hurt by people we love.
That’s just part of this fallen world in which you and I live.
But there are many people who will never experience the awesome joy, listen carefully, of unconditional love by somebody because you’ve been hurt in the past, and you’re not willing to be hurt again.
You know what? Once you understand the awesome fulfillment and joy of loving and being loved, you know what?
You’ll take the chance. You’ll be vulnerable.
And I can tell you, my friend, no matter how deeper you’ve been hurt, no matter what they did to you, no matter how much they rejected you, walked away, whatever it might have been, if you close the door, shut it up, build a wall, encase yourself in some kind of self imposed protection.
Here’s what’s gonna happen. Love may come your way, and you will miss it.
And you know what? If you miss love in your life, you’ve missed what life is all about.
Life is all about God loving you and you being able to sense that love and accept that love and experience that love.
And once you understand and once you have the experience of being unconditionally loved by God, which He loves us unconditionally always, that means He loves us regardless of what’s going on?
You can’t stop Him from loving you? He can’t love you no more than you?
You say, well now, having done what I’ve done in life and where I’ve been, how could God love me?
That’s not the issue. The issue is this. Can you accept His love?
And you see, Jesus made Himself very vulnerable. He was hurt.
He felt pain, but He kept on loving.
Did He stop loving Judas when Judas kissed Him in the garden and betrayed Him before the Romans and for the Pharisees and the Sadducees?
No, He did not. Because He loved Judas, listen, He loved Judas unconditionally, betrayal or not betrayal.
And so how does God want us to live?
He wants you and myself to be able to live, listen, with a sense of vulnerability that we love people no matter what.
You’re gonna get hurt. You’re gonna get disappointed. You’re gonna get rejected at times.
But are you gonna shut, you’re gonna shut out what genuine love’s all about?
If you’ve ever had a taste of true, genuine, unconditional love, here’s what you’ll say. It’s worth the chance.
It’s worth the chance of being rejected. How many times?
Well, it just depends on how well you’ve been able to receive genuine love the first time.
Many people are gonna live and die never having experienced genuine, unconditional love in their life.
And you know what? There’s not enough money, not enough things, not enough experiences, not enough places to go, not enough prestige, prominence, prosperity, position, power.
There’s not enough of anything in the entire world that can match the awesome sense of depth of fulfillment as an experience of unconditional love with someone whom you love with all of your heart.
They love you in return, and there are no conditions. I love you, but? No.
I love you, if? No. I love you, and? No. I just love you just the way you are.
And oftentimes, we miss God’s best, His blessings, His goodness, His kindness, His abundance toward us because we can’t accept the hurt and the pain.
And oftentimes people get married who’ve been deeply hurt.
And they’re hoping that somehow the next person is going to make all that up.
But they bring into the marriage, watch this carefully, they bring into the marriage this wall that’s only built so high.
They’re letting the other person in at least partially, but they’re not letting them in all the way.
And so the person who’s marrying this type of person doesn’t see that.
They just see visibly and physically and what’s evident. But if you, well, notice what happens.
When that person who comes into this marriage with this vulnerability to hurt and pain, then when there comes disappointments in that relationship, you know what happens?
They just start building the wall. And before long, they’ve shut the other person out.
And no matter what the other person does, you know what? They can see them physically.
They may have a physical relationship. They can have sex, not love.
They can have all the rest, but you know what?
Until there’s genuine love there, you’ll never have the kind of relationship that God intends for you to have.
The person with the gift of mercy makes themselves vulnerable and oftentimes gets hurt.
But you know what? The personal gift of mercy, when they’re walking in the spirit, they’re willing to get hurt, willing to be vulnerable, willing to be rejected by the person that they try to help.
But sometimes when that hurt goes on and on and on and on, Even they can only handle so much.
And they pull up the, pull down the shade, build up the wall, encase themselves, and then wonder why and what it is they’re missing in life.
What it is they’re missing in life is 1 of those blessings that God has intended for all of us.
And when I think of the people who live under the same roof, live under the same roof, some of them, oftentimes 1 of them is a prisoner.
You wouldn’t see that openly physically.
They can drive together, party together, do this together, work, whatever it might be.
But emotionally, 1 of ’em’s a prisoner. Can’t love, Refuse.
They’ve been hurt, and now they’re in this relationship, and they just can’t let go and be vulnerable to love once again.
Very important we learn how to love, very important we learn how to be the kind of person that God wants us to be.
Then of course, there’s the, there’s the whole issue of the need for deep relationships and friendships in which there is, listen, which is the mutual commitment.
Because the person with the gift of mercy has such deep feeling, commitment to 1 another, genuine, loving, loyal commitment to each other is very, very important.
And when a person who has the gift of mercy, when they see and sense this lack of commitment, deep down inside of them, they feel the pain of that.
They see whether 2 people are married or whether it’s a husband or wife or children or whatever it might be.
Then what happens is this.
Something happens on the inside of mercy when they see there’s no commitment.
Because to a person, the gift of mercy, they give themselves away.
When you give yourself to someone else and they don’t give themselves back, it’s very difficult for mercy because they’re wired for loyalty, devotion, support, encouragement, shield you, protect you, help you any way they can.
Then when they don’t get that back, then oftentimes it’s extremely painful. And I say again, listen carefully.
Sometimes certain situations, circumstances such as I just described can be far more painful to a person, the gift of mercy, than the rest of us.
Because sometimes we can say, well okay, that’s the way you want it. Fine.
The gift of mercy sometimes cannot feel that because that’s not the way they respond.
That’s not the way they feel. And so, they sense a deep hurt that sometimes we overlook.
Then of course, there’s the whole issue of measuring acceptance, listen, by physical closeness and quality time together.
Now, the gift of, for example, any other gift, you can give that person a material gift or whatever it might be, recognition, fine.
The personal gift of mercy, you can give them all the gifts that you can buy.
There’s no amount of money, no amount of recognition, none of that. You know what they want?
They want closeness. They want, they want you to be there.
Closeness, physical closeness and quality time together. Here’s an example.
So, you you get up in the morning, uh, as a wife and you cook this wonderful breakfast for your husband and he comes in, says, and you, and so she says to him, Well, honey, what you gonna do today?
And he’s reading the newspaper. I said, Well, I’m gonna say, let me what does this say?
Can you imagine listen to what happened. You know what happens? Mercy just loses it.
Because what it says is, I’m not interested in you. I don’t care about you.
Mm I heard you say, mhmm, well, you know, it doesn’t. And so what happens?
Mercy lives off of closeness.
And I think if a person is married to a mercy, mark it down.
You can’t do enough of anything else to match closeness, intimacy, and time.
Now, it’s interesting how parents will say, all parents will not say.
For example, they’ll say, Well, you know, I give my kids everything in the world they could possibly think of.
What else do they need? Closeness and time. And the truth is, all of us do.
If you if it’s someone in your life whom you love, what, if you genuinely love them, what do you want?
You want them there, and you want to spend time with them.
And if a person’s married to someone, and either 1 of them or both of them don’t really have any real zeal about being together, and he goes 1 way and she goes the other, They don’t spend any time together.
There’s no real closeness. The only time they have closeness is when they go to bed together.
You know what? We don’t somehow, we haven’t figured out there’s a lot of difference between sex and love and intimacy.
There’s a lot of difference between the 2.
1 can only be an act, or it can be an awesome expression of love.
And you see, people wonder, well, why is my relationship, why is my physical relationship, uh, why is it not satisfying?
Well, you ask yourself the question. How much closeness when there’s no physical act?
How much time do you spend? How willing are you to listen to the other person?
How interested are you in other aspects of life other than just going to bed?
The person with the gift of mercy is, is devastated by a relationship that has no closeness, no genuine intimacy.
Intimacy says, I want to hear what you have to say. I’m interested in what interests you.
I care about you. How can I help you? How can I encourage you today?
What is it that you need from me? Please forgive me for what I said.
That was an oversight on my part. In other words, intimacy deals with every single aspect of our thinking.
Mercy, listen, the need to measure acceptance by physical closeness and quality time together, very, very important in a life of mercy.
The truth is it should be important in the life of every 1 of us.
If you have friends, you want to spend time with them.
You want to have friends, you want to be close to them. You want to spend time. Why?
Because you enjoy it. And I just came back from a couple of weeks, uh, up in Alaska photographing and with 2 of my friends.
I loved every minute of it.
And all the wonderful sights we saw and all the things we photographed from grizzly bears to whales to beavers to otters to you name it and all the beautiful scenery.
Do you know what? It would only have been partially fun without them there.
There’s something about friendship, closeness, intimacy, being interested in the same thing and talking about the same thing, mutual interest in each other, supporting of each other, helping each other, and learning from 1 another.
Here’s the problem. If you’re listening, please say amen.
In every aspect of life, in every circumstance of life, it’s all about me or it’s all about God.
That’s the way it is.
If I’m wrapped up in my cell and only what pleases me and helps me and encourages me and strengthens me and me, me, me, me, me, If it’s all about God, then you know what?
I’m gonna be interested in you. I’m gonna be interested in Him and her and you and this and that.
And a person’s wrapped up in themselves.
If it’s all about me, I’m not gonna be able to love someone else.
I’m not gonna learn from someone else. I’m not gonna teach someone else.
If it’s all about me, we miss out on what life’s all about.
And oftentimes that’s the way people live and then they wonder, well, why aren’t we happy?
Uh, I can’t understand why we’re not happy.
And I can’t understand why am I children this and why am I children that?
The truth is that oftentimes we miss the most important thing of all.
It’s mutual interest. It’s being willing and able, listen, to have a relationship and to be able to hear and spend time with the other person.
That principle alone, the person with the gift of mercy can’t handle it very well unless that’s there.
And here’s what they do. Watch this carefully.
When the person who has the gift of mercy is married to somebody like this, here’s what they do.
Since they don’t get closeness and they don’t get this sense of intimacy in this time, they’ll do 1 of 2 things.
First of all, they’ll go shopping. And they don’t realize what they’re doing. They’re shopping.
They’re with other people, and they’re able to buy something to take home that they’re close to, that they admire, they want.
They want to wear it or set it up and watch it, what a good and after a while, when that doesn’t work, when they bought everything and then the husband wonders or the wife wonders why the other 1 is spending so much money, you know what they’re doing?
They’re just trying to fill up this vacuum, which the other person’s helping to create.
And when that doesn’t work, they make the big mistake.
They’ll start looking around to see what else is out there that may be able to meet some kind of need in their life.
And so when things don’t do it, maybe some relationship, some genuine friendship of the same sex will do it.
And then when that doesn’t do it, they get so hungry for relationship, intimacy.
Here’s the, here’s the tragedy.
Oftentimes, they step way down from God’s plan and purpose for their life, trying to satisfy something that is not satisfied.
So it’s very important we understand our emotions, why we react the way we react, why we respond to things the way we respond.
And so then, of course, there’s the whole idea of uh, having enjoyment and unity with those who are sensitive to the needs of others.
For example, a person who is, uh, in the gift of mercy and living in that spirit, they love to be with other people who feel like they feel.
You get a group of mercies together and man, you’re talking about enjoying themselves.
They, they love being a part of other people who have sensitivity with other people because they have a oneness of mind and heart and they’re cheerful.
We said cheerfulness and joy when mercy is walking in the spirit, they have a lot to offer, cheerfulness and joy.
And of course, they love being with other people who have the same sense that they do.
Then there’s the tendency to avoid firmness. Now watch this.
A person with the gift of mercy has a tendency to avoid firmness unless they see how it will benefit the other person.
Now, we talked about how that person can get in God’s way.
Well, oftentimes the person, let’s say for example, here’s a parent.
They know their son or their daughter’s being disobedient, and somehow their gift of mercy, they don’t want to hurt their feelings.
They don’t want to drive them away.
And in their, in their genuine loving caring for their child oftentimes are not firm enough.
And being able to say, no, you can’t, or you must not, or you must do this.
And so they have a tendency sometimes not to be as firm as they should be.
Now, this does not mean that all mercies lack firmness.
But it means, for example, when they’re in the flesh, they can lack firmness, or if they’re not mature enough, uh, in their own relationship to God to realize, watch this carefully, that being rejected by your kid’s not the worst thing in the world.
Being rejected by somebody, listen, is not the worst thing in the world when you have done the right thing, said the right thing, led them in the right way, giving them strong instruction to be rejected by them is not the worst thing in the world.
Even worse than that is to fail to instruct them properly, to fail to be firm, and to fail to be supportive in the expression of that firmness.
Well, a person who is, um, has the gift of mercy can oftentimes find themselves in a position not being as firm as they ought to.
Or the husband will say to the wife, well you do it because he doesn’t want to get rejected.
Or the wife can say, well, uh, sweetheart, you do it, which is what his responsibility is to begin with.
And the same thing is true in a job.
If you have a job and you have people working for you, if you’re not firm about some things, you know what happens?
The whole organization falls apart because somebody is not taking a strong stand to say, this is the goal, these are the goals, uh, this is how we operate, and this is the, these are the rules we go by so that everybody can accomplish and achieve what we’ve set out to achieve.
You have to be firm. Sometimes that’s very, very difficult, uh, for the person who has the gift of mercy.
And, so when that happens, it creates a problem.
But that’s the way they’re, it’s just real tough for a person in the gift of mercy to say, no, you’re not.
But there comes times when all of us have to say that.
Then of course, there’s the whole issue of, uh, closing our spirit to those who are insincere and insensitive.
Now, if you really want to shut up the mercy, here’s what happens.
When a, when they sense, listen, because they are loving and because they are caring and because they genuinely want to help, when they see insincerity on a person’s life, in their, in their life, and that see that they’re insensitive.
For example, the prophet, the teacher, the administrator can walk right by and if they’re in the flesh, they can be very insensitive or say things that are insensitive.
The gift of mercy can’t handle that.
And so, they close their spirit to a person who is insensitive and insincere. Why?
Because remember what we said, loyalty, devotion, caring, loving, it is the very opposite of what they feel and what they think.
None of us like someone else to be insensitive to us.
We don’t like someone being insincere, not telling the truth, not being faithful, not being loyal, not being devoted.
When a person with the gift of mercy sees that, they close their spirit because they cannot handle that.
Now, with those characteristics in mind, how is this person misunderstood? Well, let’s look at it for a moment.
Well, first of all, they’re misunderstood in this that, uh, their avoidance of being firm appears, notice how I said appears that they are weak, or listen, that they are indecisive or weak.
Just because they are not firm appears that they’re just weak and indecisive.
No, they can be very decisive and very firm.
But to the person who sees the way they approach it, for example, a person can have the gift of mercy and be firm, but here’s the way they’ll go about it.
Well, tell me, tell me the, what were you thinking when that happened?
Or tell me what were you thinking when that went on?
The personal gift of mercy isn’t just gonna do with the prophets. The prophet says, Why did you do that?
What’s the bottom line? Why did you rebel against God?
Mercy’s gonna say, Well, you know, I know you’ve been having a hard time lately and, uh, mercy’s just gonna sort of walk around the bush a little bit and finally get to the point.
Because why? That’s the way they think.
They don’t want to destroy the relationship by coming on too strong.
And so it looks like that they are a little weak. They’re not weak.
Or when the gift of mercy sees something going on, instead of, instead of just shutting it down right then, patiently, they’ll give the person time, whereas some of you, some of the rest of us say you’ve had enough time.
Mercy just keeps giving them a little time, hoping and praying that they’ll change. And so sometimes they’re misunderstood.
A second way they’re misunderstood is this, and that is their strong sensitivity, uh, to the spirit and feelings of others may cause some to feel that they’re guided by their emotions.
And the person with the gift of mercy is not necessarily guided by their emotions.
It’s just that in the process of the way they respond to situations and circumstances, it appears that rather than being logical and reasonable, that they’re just guided by emotion because they can feel so deeply with someone else.
Doesn’t mean that they live by emotions. It simply means that’s the way they approach those things.
Then of course, there’s the attraction and understanding of those in distress that may be misinterpreted by those of the opposite sex.
Now, this is very important. Watch this carefully.
A personal gift of mercy sees someone, uh, who is going through a difficult time.
Let’s say someone you work with or someone your friend, and, uh, the gift of mercy reaches out to that person.
Maybe no 1 else has recognized this in their life. And so here’s what they do. Now watch this carefully.
They will build a relationship in genuine sincerity to help that person.
No question about their motive. They wanna help them. They see what they’re going through.
And so this person says, well let me tell you what’s happening in my life and here’s what’s happening in my home and my wife or my husband, my children.
And so, here’s what mercy does. Mercy listens carefully, and mercy reaches out to that person.
And mercy tries to encourage them.
And this person’s going through a difficult time, and the person talks about different relationships and intimacy and things are not working right.
And oftentimes mercy is drawn into this relationship to the point that there is a sense of possessiveness or they listen and listen carefully and because they want to help them, sometimes mercy can take a fatal step in trying to help the other person that they become involved.
That’s why people who are counselors, people who are pastors, no matter who you are, the gift of mercy has to be very, very careful because they can be, listen, with all the sincerity of their heart trying to help someone else, they can be drawn into a relationship in their attempt to help.
And here’s what they’re gonna say. They’re gonna say, Well, I was just trying to help her.
I was just trying to help them and I tried to tell them everything on my heart and here’s what happens.
Then there are those people out there who take advantage of people and they see them in this difficult situation.
And then when they say, Well, I think I can help you, watch out.
Very important that the gift of mercy is careful about the way they go about those things.
And sometimes they’re misunderstood. Sometimes the person’s going through difficulty when they sense this genuine, unconditional, loving desire to help, they misinterpret that as if this person has an affection for them, that this person is now in love with them, that this person now, uh, wants a relationship, and that may not be what it is at all.
That’s the way they interpret it.
Misinterpret the genuine desires and acts of a person who has the gift of mercy.
Then of course, that is their sensitivity to words and actions, um, cause hurt, may appear that, uh, that taking somebody else’s offense, and sometimes can be very harsh.
Now notice, the sensitivity to words and actions that cause hurt may appear to be taking up another person’s offense.
It may that, it may be that they’re not, though it can be.
In other words, when a person misuses their gift of mercy, they can take up the, take up an offense and go to fight for the other person.
Sometimes it appears that that’s what they’re doing when they’re only expressing genuine love and concern for the other person.
It depends on how they say it and how they go about it.
And then, of course, the ability to detect insincere motives may cause some people to feel that they’re hard to get along with and hard to know.
The person who sees insincerity is gonna shun it.
They see and feel this attitude, listen, not only of insincerity, but an insincere motive.
What they do is they back off. Another person says, well, they’re just hard to get to know.
No, they’ve already sensed in your spirit a wrong attitude. So, you know what?
They’re not interested in relating to you because of your attitude, your insincerity, which is so very important to them.
A person as the gift of mercy is not gonna be drawn to a person who’s insincere and has no sensitivity.
That’s not the way they are.
Now, how does this person act when they’re walking in the spirit and how do they act when they are in the flesh?
Now think about this. There are 7 motivational gifts.
All of these I have given you 7 positive ways they walk when they’re in the spirit, 7 ways they act when they’re in the flesh.
Now think about this. Imagine all of us, whatever our gift is, the truth is that every single 1 of these spiritual gifts, God wants all of us to have at least something of that, being able to identify unrighteousness and speak toward it.
He all, wants all of us to serve, all of us to be able to teach in some fashion, all of us to be able to be encouragers, exhorters.
He wants all of us to be givers and all of us to live a disciplined, uh, life that is, uh, well organized, and He certainly wants us to be merciful.
Well, when you put all 7 of those negatives, imagine what we’d look like if all of the negatives of all the gifts were part of the way we live.
We wouldn’t be fit to live with.
On the other hand, if all 49 positive traits were there, what an awesome lifestyle we’d have.
So let’s look at how this person.
First of all, when they’re in the spirit, very attentive, very attentive to those who are around them and who have difficulty in hardship.
Then of course, when they get in the flesh, they just are unconcerned.
They can just walk right by them like someone else.
When they’re in the spirit, for example, they’re very sensitive to other people’s needs.
And, uh, they can pick it up as we said and other people do not.
When they’re walking in the flesh in disobedience to God, they can be very callous. You know what?
They don’t feel anything. Their, their gift of mercy, and let me tell you, when a person with the gift of mercy reaches the, the carnal state, that is when they reach the fleshless state in, in their gift, they can care little or nothing about you, what’s going on.
They can be absolutely, totally indifferent to what’s happening. Then of course, fairness. Fairness is very important to them.
But on the other hand, when they get in the flesh, they can be very partial.
When they’re in the spirit, loads of compassion. Cannot be too compassion.
And then of course, when they are in the flesh, they can be totally indifferent.
So you see, just like in all of these gifts, we’re either on 1 side or the other, and we get to be the extreme or the other, we think how could a person with this awesome gift be so unfair and indifferent?
Then there is gentleness, gentleness, or they can be very harsh.
You see, the way the spirit of mercy accomplishes so much is in their gentleness.
When they become carnally minded, they can be very harsh, very difficult to live with.
Deference, that is, they’re willing to submit.
They’re willing to give in and say, you know, I don’t agree, but it’s okay.
I give you your part there. And on the other hand, instead of deference, they’re just out, plain out rude.
In other words, this is the way I feel about it, and, uh, this is the way it is, and they can just be totally opposite.
Then of course, humility. The person with the gift of mercy, when they’re walking in the Spirit very humble, saying to you, I know how you feel.
I understand what’s going on in your life, and I want you to know that God will help you through this.
I’m also, I’ve been in those situations and circumstances. I know how you feel.
Uh, look at my own life and realize that God has rescued me from this, and very open and humble spirit.
Otherwise, they can just be angry, just outright angry.
So, this awesome gift of mercy, so important in the life of all of us, can also be very difficult to deal with.
So let me ask you, in light of that, how many of you have a gift of mercy?
Raise them up. Alright, good, good, good. We could use a few more mercies, but that’s alright.
We’ll take all we can get. And, uh, uh, I just simply want to encourage you, listen carefully.
I want to encourage you, don’t lay these notes down somewhere.
You’re gonna meet someone who has this gift.
Or it may be that you have this gift.
Now you understand why you act and feel the way you do.
Or now you understand why your spouse, your friend, the person you work with, why they react to you the way they do.
Once you understand, once you apply these principles, here’s what happens.
You understand yourself better, understand your relationship to God better, That’s the way He wired you.
That’s the way you are. And you understand the people you live with, that you work with, that you play with better.
That makes all relationships better when you understand and you’re willing to apply to your life.
Now you may be saying, well, I’m not even a Christian, so how does that relate to me?
Well, let’s put it this way. Until you receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, nothing’s gonna work.
It may work for you money wise, prestige, prominence and all the rest, but you know what?
Not contentment, not joy, moments of happiness, maybe yes.
But no genuine contentment, no real peace, no real joy, no real sense of achievement and accomplishment that God has helped you in.
But it’s sort of you against the world.
It’s either all of me or all of God, 1 of the 2.
When you trust the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior and your sin debt’s paid in full, you’re forgiven of your sin, by simply asking Him to forgive you of your sin based on what you did at the cross, recognizing that He has the right to your life to guide you, direct you all the days of your life.
Once you surrender your life to Him and the Spirit of God comes into your life and grants to you a spiritual gift, everything about your life begins to change.
Why? Because now you are equipped to live life to the fullest, to the best, with the greatest sense of satisfaction and fulfillment all the days of your life.
And it shows for the asking and the believing if you’ll trust the Lord Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins and trust the Holy Spirit to do His work in your life.
And Father, how grateful we are for the truth of Your Word.
And we pray the Holy Spirit will sink these truths deep in the heart of every listener, every viewer.
And Father, that all of us would live out of our gift, operate out of our gift to the maximum of our potential for Your glory and for our good, in Jesus’ name, amen.