Beating Bitterness

You can’t stop life from happening to you, but you can choose how you respond. At the office, a coworker says something that offends you. It starts off as a little seed. If you let it go, nothing will come of it. But if you dwell on it, you’ll soon be holding a grudge. Now that little seed is taking root. It starts to grow and before long it will pollute other areas of your life. That’s why Hebrews 12:15 warns “that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”

The good news is you don’t have to live with bitter roots. Ask God to show you what’s causing you to be bitter. Maybe you need to forgive somebody, maybe you’re still sour over a dream that didn’t work out, or maybe you’re still beating yourself up over a mistake you made in the past. Be honest with yourself and say, “God, help me to get this root of bitterness out of me. I don’t want to live angry and bitter. I want my passion back. I want to love again. I want to laugh again. I want to dream again. God, help me to let it go and move forward.”

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And I heard about this lady that was stopped at an intersection. A man came up asking for money.
She dug in her purse and found a dollar bill.
She rolled down her window said, sir, I’m not giving you this because you deserve it.
I’m giving it to you because it makes me happy.
He looked at her and said, ma’am, why don’t you give me $20 and thoroughly enjoy yourself.
Say it like you mean it, this is my bible. I am what it says. I am.
I have what it says I have. I can do what it says I can do today.
I will be taught the word of God. I boldly confess my mind is alert. My heart is receptive.
I will never be the same in jesus’ name. God bless you.
I want to talk to you today about beating bitterness.
We all go through things that are not fair. People do us wrong. We didn’t get the promotion.
We came down with an illness.
You can’t stop life from happening to you, but you can choose how you respond.
If you hold on to the hurt, you go around dwelling on the offense thinking.
Why did they say that about me? Why did I lose my loved one? Why did that friend walk away?
Then you’re opening the door to bitterness. When you’re bitter, it affects every area of your life.
Bitterness poisons your attitude to where you see things in a negative light. Bitter people don’t have good relationships.
They’re easily offended. They’ll jump down your throat for the smallest thing. It’s not you. It’s the bitterness coming out.
You may have a good reason to be bitter.
Something was unfair, but holding on to it is only going to make it worse.
It’s going to steal your dreams rob you of your joy. Bitterness can keep you from your destiny.
And I know people that are still bitter over something that happened 30 years ago, bitter because they were mistreated growing up bitter because a relationship didn’t work out.
You have to let it go. God sees what’s happening. He knows what wasn’t fair.
He knows who walked away and he knows how to make it up to you.
He knows how to bring you out better. Let it go.
And trust him to be your vindicator, the longer you hold on, the harder it is to get rid of, the more you dwell on it, the more you relive it, the more you let it bother you, the deeper it gets planted, the key is forgive, quickly, let go of things you don’t understand quickly when the questions come up.
Why did this happen? This isn’t fair when you feel the bitterness trying to take root? Right?
Then God, I’m turning this over to you. I know you’re my vindicator. I know you’ll make my wrongs, right?
You said you give me beauty for these ashes. I found bitterness is always knocking at the door.
You didn’t get the contract. Bitterness will come have a chip on your shoulder. That’s not fair.
The medical report wasn’t what you wanted. Bitterness will show up.
You prayed you believe, why didn’t God answer your prayer? That’s bitterness trying to come in at the office.
A co worker says something to try to make you look bad in front of people. Just a little offense.
Just a small seed. If you ignore it, no big deal.
But if you start dwelling on it, start thinking of how you can pay them back.
Next time you see them, you give them the cold shoulder, then that little seed will begin to take root before long it will grow and pollute other areas of your life.
That’s why it says in Hebrews, make sure that no root of bitterness springs forth and causes trouble and many become contaminated by it.
Notice it refers to bitterness as a root. You can’t see a root, it’s hidden, it’s underground.
But here’s the problem. A bitter root produces bitter fruit.
If you have a root of bitterness, it will contaminate your life.
I know a young man that became disgruntled with his employer.
His boss was an older man and he didn’t feel like he’d been treated fairly.
He moved on to another state, but over the years, he never let it go.
He became more and more offended, kept talking about it, bringing up all the ways he wasn’t treated right.
His boss was good to him. He was generous and kind.
There were just little things this young man kept dwelling on blowing it out of proportion because he wouldn’t let it go.
That small offense turned into a root of bitterness. He used to be happy, fun to be around.
Now he’s bitter sour, has a chip on his shoulder. It’s affecting his relationships, it’s affecting his career.
Proverbs says, guard your heart with all diligence for out of it through the issues of life.
One of our most important responsibilities is to keep our heart pure life is too short to live offended, not forgiving bitter over what didn’t work out.
You have to guard your heart. It’s easy to let what’s on the outside. Get on the inside.
It takes discipline to say I’m not going to dwell on that offense, not going to go around feeling sorry for myself because something didn’t work out.
You only have so much emotional energy each day. It’s not an unlimited supply.
Do you know how much energy it takes to hold a grudge to go around? Defended.
That’s wasting valuable energy that you need for your dreams, for your Children, for your destiny.
Quit letting what’s on the outside, Get on the inside. Start guarding your heart.
The Apostle Paul had plenty of opportunities to live offended.
He said in one place, Alexander, the copper smith did me great wrong. But I’m not worried.
I know God will pay him back. That’s a mature attitude. Somebody did me great wrong.
But I’m not upset. Not bitter. Don’t have a chip on my shoulder. I know God is fighting my battles.
I know God will be my vindicator.
What’s interesting is you can’t see a root but a root is where the tree gets life.
We see the outside, the leaves, the branches, but the roots are what’s feeding the tree.
When your roots are healthy, positive, hopeful, then that’s feeding you encouragement, life, strength, hope.
The problem is if you have bitter roots, you’re not being fed the right things.
You wonder why you don’t have any energy. Why you don’t laugh anymore?
Why you don’t dream like you used to? It’s because those bitter roots are feeding you bitterness, self pity, anger.
That’s draining all the strength, the passion, the joy, they’re feeding you what they are.
The good news is you don’t have to live with bitter roots.
You need to ask God to show you what’s causing you to be bitter.
Maybe there’s somebody you need to forgive. Maybe it’s a dream that didn’t work out.
You’re still sour about it. Maybe it’s a mistake you made and you’re still beating yourself up.
If you’ll be honest with yourself and say God, help me to get rid of this root of bitterness, God, I’m still angry over what happened when I was 10, still sour over the person that left, still grieving over my loved one that I lost 12 years ago.
God, I don’t wanna be bitter. I want my passion back.
I wanna love again like I used to, I wanna dream again.
God help me to let it go and move forward.
That’s the first step to getting rid of a bitter root.
Find out what it is and ask God to help you. You can’t do it on your own.
Ask Him to help you forgive the person that hurt you, ask him to help you release the bitterness, the resentment.
When you get those contaminants out, you’ll not only feel the weight lift off of you, but you’ll get your joy back.
You’ll start dreaming again and you’ll see the new things God has in store years ago, there was a great outbreak of disease in a small village in Africa.
People were being overcome by nausea and sickness and after a couple of months, it was so bad.
People started dying. Word quickly reached the main city and they sent out experts to try to find out what the problem was.
After several days of testing, they discovered their water was contaminated.
This little village got its water from a mountain stream.
The researchers began to travel upstream to find out where the problem was.
They traveled for days and days and didn’t see anything wrong. They finally came to the source of the stream.
Everything on the surface looked fine.
They decided to send some divers down to get as close to the source as possible.
Much to their surprise, they found a big mother pig and all of her piglets were stuck right there at the source.
Somehow the pigs had fallen in and drowned and became wedged right at the opening.
Now, all this crystal clear water was being contaminated as it flowed past the dead pigs.
All they had to do was remove the pigs. And once again, the water was perfectly fine.
It’s the same principle in life.
We all have unfair things that happen, things we don’t understand too often instead of forgiving the people that hurt us instead of letting go of the wrong, we’ve held on to it like those pigs, it’s contaminated our stream.
We wonder why we’re negative, why we can’t get along in relationships why we keep losing our temper.
We think this is just who I am. No, that is not who you are.
You were created in the image of God.
He made you to be happy, healthy, whole, secure, not bitter, angry, resentful.
You need to go back and get rid of what’s contaminating your stream.
You need to find those pigs, forgive the people that did you wrong.
They hurt you once, don’t let them continue to hurt you.
They can’t stop your destiny unless you allow them to. You’re not forgiving for their sake.
You’re forgiving for your sake. So your stream doesn’t stay polluted.
Quit reliving that dream that didn’t work out that business that failed the contract that didn’t go through, let it go.
God has another dream that was a test.
You had to go through those closed doors before you could come to your open doors.
It may not have been fair but God saw what happened.
If you’ll get rid of the pigs, if you’ll turn it over to him, start dreaming again, start believing again.
Start hoping again. God will pay you back for what didn’t work out? He’s going to open doors.
You never dreamed would open. He’s going to bring people better than you ever imagined.
What’s in your future is much greater than anything you’ve lost.
Now, my challenge don’t let a dead pig keep you from your destiny.
Don’t let a bitter root contaminate your life. It’s time to move forward.
It’s very freeing when you can let things go. Say God they did me wrong. But you’re my vindicator.
I had a disappointment but I know you’ll turn what was meant for my harm and use it to my advantage.
I lost a loved one. Yes, I still miss them, but I’m not gonna live bitter the rest of my life.
I know they’re with you and you have a new beginning for me. That’s how you beat bitterness.
You guard your heart. You don’t let what’s on the outside. Get on the inside in the scripture.
A lady named Naomi had some tough times. She was living in a city called Moab.
She was a widow, her husband had died years later, both of her sons were killed and sometimes life doesn’t seem fair.
You have more than your share of bad breaks. It’s easy to get bitter and give up on your dreams.
But God wouldn’t have allowed it if it was going to keep you from your destiny.
Yes, it’s difficult but God promises he will give you grace for every season.
He won’t let you go through more than you can handle when that bitterness comes.
You have to put your foot down and say no, I’m not going there.
I know God is still in control. I know his plans for me are for good.
What you’re going through may not be good, but God knows how to bring good out of it.
But every thought will tell you it’s never going to get better. You might as well be better.
Don’t believe those lies. You wouldn’t be alive unless God had something amazing in front of you.
He has a purpose for you to fulfill. Naomi had gone through so much. She thought she was done.
She even changed her name. Naomi means my joy. She changed it tomorrow. Mara means bitter.
Now, when people called her, Naomi, she would tell them, don’t call me that call me ma I’m bitter.
I’m broken. My dreams are shattered. Just let me live in my pain.
She let the bitterness get on the inside. Maybe she had a reason.
She had been through a lot of losses but just because you’ve been through loss doesn’t mean you’re not going to win again.
Does it mean you’ve seen your best days? You may have had bad breaks but don’t change your name.
God is not finished with you. The enemy doesn’t have the final say, God does.
Naomi moved back home to Bethlehem. Her daughter in law Ruth went with her.
I can imagine when her friends saw her, they came running out, Naomi. I can’t believe it’s you.
She said don’t be happy for me. I went out full but I’m coming home empty.
She was saying I went out with my husband, my two sons. But look now it’s just me.
Have you ever gone out full? Big dreams? Big goals.
But things didn’t work out the way you had planned.
The marriage didn’t make it, pregnancy didn’t last contract didn’t go through like Naomi, you could easily be better.
But here’s how merciful God is.
Even though Naomi thought she was done, even though she gave up on her dreams.
God set in effect, Naomi, you started in joy and you’re going to finish in joy.
You may have changed your name, but I didn’t change your name. You had trouble in Moab.
Don’t worry, I have a blessing waiting for you in Bethlehem.
What’s interesting is even though Naomi changed her name, the scripture never refers to her as it keeps calling her Naomi.
Have you changed your name so to speak tomorrow?
Are you living bitter negative thinking about everything that didn’t work out, do yourself a favor.
Get rid of those names you put on yourself and go back to being who God created you to be.
God didn’t change your name. He still calls you blessed, prosperous, favored, healthy, strong, victorious.
Go back to your original name. You may have had trouble in Moab so to speak but get ready.
God has a blessing waiting for you in Bethlehem.
Instead of sitting around bitter, Naomi started helping her daughter in law Ruth. There was a man.
Ruth was interested in and Naomi started giving her relationship advice.
She told Ruth put on this perfume, wear this outfit and go see this man named Bo as Naomi turned her focus away from her own problems and started helping somebody else.
Her joy began to come back when you’re tempted to be bitter.
One of the best things you can do is get your mind off yourself and go be a blessing to others.
Ruth ended up marrying as they had a baby named Obed.
When Naomi saw that little baby, she was so excited.
It was like something breathed new life, new purpose back into her spirit.
The scripture says a son was born to Naomi wasn’t even her baby, but she took that little baby and raised him like he was her own.
This once bitter woman was now more fulfilled than ever. She never dreamed she would be that happy again.
God is saying, my blessing is going to override your bitterness.
My favor is going to make up for your pain. What God has planned for?
You cannot be stopped by people by bad breaks by loss. Even if you change your name.
God is so merciful. He’s still gonna do something amazing.
He’s still going to get you to where you’re supposed to be.
Mark 16, Jesus had just been crucified.
And Mary Magdalene and another Mary went to the tomb early one morning to put perfume on his body.
They wondered how they were going to roll the stone away. But when they arrived, the stone was already moved.
They walked in the tomb saw a young man dressed in white, was an angel they were afraid.
He said to them you’re looking for Jesus but he is not here. He has risen.
He has gone ahead of you to Galilee. There. You will see him notice he is not here.
He is there. The angel was saying in effect, I know this looks bad. I know you’re hurting.
I know you’re disappointed but don’t stay here. Something better is waiting for you. There.
In other words, here is the disappointment. Here is the bad medical report.
Here is the dream that didn’t work out. If you stay here, you’ll be discouraged. You have to go there.
And sometimes the reason God doesn’t comfort us in the here in the disappointment is because He doesn’t want us to stay where we are.
Yes, the loss is painful. Yes, the setback wasn’t fair but God is not here. He’s gone ahead.
He’s waiting for you. There. God is not in your past in what you lost in what didn’t work out.
He’s in your future. Don’t get stuck in here. Move forward into there. There is where vindication is.
There is where new beginnings are there is where you’ll find your healing.
If the tomb, Mary would have stayed at the tomb in self pity. I can’t believe this happened.
They would have never seen the there, they would have never seen the Lord.
Are you living in the here while God is waiting for you? There? Are you stuck in a disappointment?
Bitter over a bad break, angry over what didn’t work out. It’s time to leave here and go there.
There is where God is waiting for you. There is where the blessing is.
The disappointment is simply a season. It’s not the rest of your life. God has already gone ahead.
God has already lined up the next chapter. Your house was damaged in the storm. That’s here. Yes, that’s disappointing.
The good news is God has gone ahead. He’s waiting for you there. He has restoration already lined up.
This is what my father had to do.
He’d been pastoring a church for many years and he was very successful and just built a beautiful new sanctuary.
He was on the state board for his denomination on his way up.
My sister Lisa was born with something like cerebral palsy.
My dad began to search the scriptures in a new way.
He found how God is a healer and how he came that we might live an abundant victorious life.
He started sharing that with his congregation, but much to his surprise, they didn’t like his new message of faith and victory and healing.
It didn’t fit in their denominational teaching back then.
And people my father had known for years suddenly turned on him. Life long.
Friends wouldn’t speak to my parents anymore. My father ended up having to leave that church was so disappointed.
Never dreamed he’d have to start all over. He could have been bitter. God, why did you let this happen?
I was being my best. I was honoring you like Mary. He was in the here. He didn’t understand it.
And yes, the here wasn’t fair. But what he couldn’t see was God had already gone ahead.
God had already lined up Lakewood and was waiting for him there.
If my father would have stayed in the here, he would have missed his destiny.
He left that church started Lakewood with 90 people that was over 50 years ago.
And here we are still going strong. What am I saying?
The here is not the end, the disappointment, the loss, the betrayal. That’s temporary.
God has already gone ahead. Don’t let bitterness hold you back. Don’t sit around in self pity.
Move forward into there. There is where God will pay you back.
There is what he’ll do more than you can ask or think Luke 15 is the story of the prodigal son.
This young man took his inheritance and left home.
He wasted all of his money living wild partying, making poor decisions, finally came to his senses and decided to go back home.
His father came running out to meet him and welcomed him with open arms.
He was so glad to have his son back. He told his staff to go kill the fatted calf.
They were going to have a party.
Well, the older brother was out in the field working when he heard all the music, the dancing, he asked someone what the celebration was all about.
They told him your brother has come home. We’re having a party to welcome him back.
Verse 28 says the older brother became angry and refused to go in.
His father came out, pleaded with him. Come on, son, come in, your brother is back home.
He said, dad, I’ve worked for you all these years. Been slave in a way.
I always do what you ask.
But you’ve never given me a skinny goat and yet you go and kill a fatted calf for after all he’s done.
You can hear the bitterness in his spirit. It’s not fair. He treated me right.
I’m not coming to your party. Here’s my point. The party went on without him.
His bitterness didn’t stop the party. It just kept him from going into the party.
And sometimes we’re holding on to unforgiveness, anger, resentment, thinking that it’s hurting the other person.
The truth is the party is still going on. It’s just hurting us.
Are you letting bitterness keep you out of the party?
Are you letting a disappointment, keep you from enjoying today?
Why don’t you let it go and come on into the party. Life is happening.
There’s a celebration going on today is a gift. Don’t let a bad childhood keep you out of the party.
Don’t let a divorce a break up cause you to be sour and sit on the sidelines.
Come into the party, start dreaming again. Start loving again, start believing again.
We have no guarantee that we’re going to be here.
Tomorrow life is fragile time is too short to live offended, bitter in self pity.
God knows what you didn’t get.
Quit trying to get people to pay you back and go to God and he’ll make it up to you if you’ll come into the party, if you’ll get rid of what’s contaminating you, I believe and declare you’re going to experience a new sense of freedom, better relationships, greater joy, clearer vision.
I declare that every root of bitterness is coming out right now.
You’re gonna rise higher, live happier and reach the fullness of your destiny in jesus’ name.
And if you receive it, can you say amen today?
I’d like to give you an opportunity to make Jesus the Lord of your life.
Would you pray with me? Just say Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins come into my heart.
I’ll make you my Lord and Savior.
If you prayed that simple prayer, we believe you got born again.
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