Loving Difficult People – Part 1

God can help you get along with everyone. Today on Enjoying Everyday Life, Joyce Meyer and the Talk It Out ladies discuss how to love difficult people and put Christ in the center of all your relationships.

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Many are lonely. . Many are heartbroken. . Many are facing sickness and health is fading. . Some are dealing with difficult family members. Many have lost HOPE.. Tonight, let us put our prayers and faith together decree and declare breakthrough over our families. Financial miracles WILL take place. Jobs WILL be found. Our Bodies WILL be made whole & sickness WILL flee. Marriages and relationships WILL be restored. Family members WILL find Jesus. Heartbreaks WILL be healed. JOY WILL be restored and HOPE WILL be found. In Jesus Name. Amen!!!!!! Keep God First…….

Have you ever been trapped in a never ending frenzy where every passing moment feels like a blur, leaving you gasping for a and sipause and catch your breath.
In her insightful book, pursuing peace, Joyce Meyer explores the importance of seeking peace at all This beautiful hardcover edition is filled with meaningful scriptures and uplifting quotes from Joyce, providing valuable guidance for living a peaceful lifestyle.
So grab a cup of coffee, find a comfortable spot and embark on your journey to find peace.
Remember, limited time YouTube offer won’t last long.
Go to joyce meyer dot org slash pursuit to get your copy today. And start your pursuit of peace.
Probably the personality that I have the most trouble with is of full on 100 percent San Juan who just wants to giggle about everything and just thinks life is 1 big party and know, because I’m a worker and I want everybody to be serious and let’s get the job done.
Yeah. I’m not messing around. And 1 of the things that helped me more than anything to get along with people was finally getting it through my head that god did not create all of us alike.
I do what I do because I’ve seen god’s power transform my own life, and he will do it for you.
The key to everything is found in god’s word.
I’m Joyce Meyer, and I believe that god can heal you freeware you heard.
Hi, everyone.
We have a really important topic for you today, and I don’t know anyone who would say I don’t need this topic.
We are talking today about how to love people that are hard to love. My lord. Uh, Joyce.
Joyce is writing a book on it, and I’ll tell you. We We need it.
And and really the world right now needs this more than ever.
Right. And they’re, you know, we’re all hard to love at times, so we can’t act like that We never are, but there are some people that are just really extra, extra hard to love.
And 1 of the first things to remember is they probably are like that because they’re hurting somewhere in their life.
Yeah. Yeah. I don’t think anybody gets out of bed and just purposely tries to be obnoxious all day long.
Yeah. You know, that a lot of people that are behaving badly don’t even realize that they are or they just are hurt and so bad they don’t have any self control.
I had a lot of years in my life where I wasn’t very nice, but I didn’t really even realized because I’d been raised around people that weren’t very nice.
Right. And so Yeah. I was just acting out of what I saw. And been through
a lot that shaped your personality at that time. Right.
Yeah.
That there are so many people that we come across.
Every day that we don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes.
Yeah. Yeah.
And how their worlds are just turned upside down.
Yeah. I something has to be done about all the hatred and the anger that’s in the world today.
And I don’t I don’t know any way to try to get people to change other than to convince them.
It’s a 1 by 1 decision.
Everybody has to make their decision and if enough Christians because there really are a lot of us. Right.
If enough Christians would just make the decision. Yeah.
Because it’s not just unbelievers that are mad and angry.
Oh, certainly time. The Christians, we can be the worst sometimes.
Yeah.
And very judgmental and critical and, you know, we think that or what I believe is right and nobody else
—
Mhmm.
—
you know, knows anything. And, uh, that attitude The Bible says in Ephesians 04:32 that it are 29 that it grieves the Holy Spirit.
Yeah.
And that’s When you really think about that, that’s that’s bad.
And since he lives in us, if he’s grieved, I think we feel that. Grief too.
So I think a lot of people are unhappy.
Yeah.
And
they don’t even realize it’s because — Yeah.
—
of their own attitude. And, The really important thing that I hope to try to get across to people through this book and the different teachings is that love is not a feeling.
Yeah. It, you know, there there is a type of love that produces romantic feelings, but it’s not the love that Jesus has for us and that God has for us.
He he loves us in a in a way that has nothing to do with our behavior.
It’s he loves us literally into wholeness. And people get married on feelings.
And then when the feelings are gone, they get divorced or when something doesn’t turn out the way they thought it would.
They get divorced or somebody hurts them, they get divorced.
And we have to learn that that love is it’s a decision that you make about how you’re going to treat someone.
All people.
Yeah. All people. Yeah. All people. That’s the simplest way I know how to say it.
So we’re gonna get real practical and give some help for all of us. Because because we need it. Yeah.
We need to know how to do this better.
Yeah. Right.
But first, we’re gonna start with a little clip from Joyce teaching.
She’s gonna tell us about how this is such great news.
Even the disciples had a hard time getting along sometimes.
Then Peter came to Jesus.
This is all just 1 verse after this, all the same subject.
Then Peter came to Jesus and said, how many times can my brother sin against me, and I forgive him and let it go?
As many as 7. I think that’s interesting.
You know, Peter had probably heard the rabbis teach, which they did teach in those days.
That we must forgive 3 times, but the fourth time we don’t need to forgive.
I know where they came up with that, but that was what they taught.
So Peter figured that Jesus’ standard would be a little higher, but he surely didn’t think it would be any more than 7.
Why would Peter even ask a question like that?
Well, I’m totally convinced that those 12 disciples did not all like each other and did not all appreciate each other.
There’s enough information in the Bible for us to know that there was competition between them.
They were jealous of each other.
And I think it’s pretty plain that Peter had a little bit of a hard time with John’s personality.
I mean, how would you like to be Peter, bold, aggressive, doesn’t use a lot of wisdom with his mouth, quick tempered.
How would you like to hang out with somebody who calls himself the disciple whom Jesus loves?
I am and John wrote the book of John.
And he said that repeated times, I am the disciple that Jesus loves.
And his whole personality was different. He was just real relational
and hanging around, loving Jesus and
Peter, he’s a man of action. He wants to go do something.
And so they they had issues just like we have issues with people.
It is, you know, this myth of finding anybody that’s perfect.
Is just useless because everybody may be a rose, but they come with thorns.
There’s good There’s strengths and there’s weaknesses in everybody.
And the more you are with any 1 person.
The more they are likely to irritate you in some way.
And these 12 guys live together all the time.
See, you’re all poking each other and like Oh, listen.
I love my husband tremendously, but he does things that irritate me.
And the funny thing about Dave is when he knows he irritates me, then he does it more just to irritate me more because he thinks it’s funny.
And I won’t get into Dave’s stories or I’ll never get my message finished, but he’s I mean, I could give you a big long list of things that He does.
I’m sure I do things too, but he just never said anything about it like I do.
I’m happy to tell him what he does that irritates me.
And he like I said, he thinks it’s funny. He’s like, oh, good.
Now I’ll do it some more.
So Jesus said not up to 7 times Peter, but 70 times 7.
And he really what he basically was just saying, hi, very much.
Tell me every many times it takes.
Now, you know, to forgive the same person for the same thing over and over, gets even harder than forgiving somebody for something once.
Now forgiveness doesn’t always mean that you need to stay in some kind of a deep relationship with somebody, but it has to do with your heart attitude toward them.
And 1 of the things we have to realize is that hurting people hurt people.
And we need to take a little more time to pray about and be more discerning, not about just what people do, but maybe why they did it, why they behave, the way they behave.
I love that you said.
It’s just such honesty that the more you’re around someone, they are actually going to annoy you. Yeah.
You know, I’m I mean, it’s just the way it is. And the disciples work together all the time.
So we all have the potential for that rose, but those thorns are there too. Right.
So who would you call the prickly people in your life. Who are the ones?
Dangerous to call that out. No. No. I I don’t want names on a list. No. No names.
I’m trying to start something.
No. No. No. It’s going out. I got here. I wrote it down. No.
But what type of people — Oh.
—
do you find it more difficult to to love?
Well, I was more like Peter. I am more like Peter.
And so I would have had a hard time with John.
I would have said, you know, why don’t you just quit around making Google eyes and get up and do something.
We’re making Google items, Jesus. You have
to do something. We got work
to do, John. And, I’m a type a choleric and probably the personality that I have the most trouble with is a full on 100 percent sanguine who just wants to giggle about everything and just thinks life is 1 big party and, you know, because I’m a worker and I want everybody to be serious and let’s get the job done.
I’m not messing around. And 1 of the things that helped me more than anything to get along with people was finally getting it through my head.
That god did not create all of us alike.
Right. Mhmm.
And really, to a certain extent, people can’t help the way they are.
Now, obviously, if it’s something that’s against the word, then we need to work with god to change it.
But, I mean, you if you’re a fun loving person and your motivation in life.
That’s the way you’re gonna be. And if you’re a worker like I am, that’s the way you’re gonna be.
And so, you know, Dave is real laid back and easy going, and I wish numbers of times I could be like that, but I’m not like that, and I’m never gonna be like that.
Yeah. Yeah. And what about you? I’m pretty similar. To that. Like, I I like to I’m pretty type a.
I like to get things done. And even though, like, sometimes I express myself in a more expressive way.
People tend to think that I’m more extroverted than I really am.
I’m pretty introverted, honestly, in in real life with amongst the people that I care about.
And so people tend to want me to be on all the time.
So that, like, that, the the the samplings of the people who work. Unfair adaptations. Yes.
Because they see they they create this narrative of who they think I am. Yeah.
And expect me to live up to that versus who I truly am. Um, that’s 1.
And then another 1 is, like, when people like to sweep things under the rug, under the the I guess, the vice of saying, let it go, you know, instead of, like, having the the hard conversation and really getting to it.
And then you know, especially if we love each other, like, to deal with stuff.
I like to deal
with it. I like to deal with it.
I don’t I’m not the type of person that, like, just likes to just act like it didn’t happen.
If I know there’s an elephant in the room, I’ll be like, Hey, there’s an elephant in the room.
How are we gonna get it out?
Like, so that those are things that that trigger me, like, when it comes to being difficult to love, people that — Yeah.
—
you know, like, it seems like they sweep things under the rug and don’t like to confront it or people that try to make me be who they want me to be.
Mhmm.
You
know? So that makes sense.
Yeah. It’s good. People who complain a lot.
Have a
really hard time with if those who seek a glass half empty kind of view on life, which is probably really annoying to them because I am so glass half full, and they’re they’re probably equally annoyed by me.
Um, but that it is draining to me and it is just hard for me to feel that much empathy when there’s not that much there’s good things happening too.
So you’re real positive and people that are real negative obviously are hard for you to deal with.
Yes. And they probably feel the same about me. Yeah.
Um, and and I also similar to what you’re saying, Jay, I have a hard time with people that I feel controlled by.
And so this, I’m sure we’ll talk more about this.
I experienced this scene with my husband in the past couple years, um, his need to control out of fear you talk about in your book, I it it was huge for me to learn that.
He was operating out of fear, so that made him hold tighter which made me wanna back off and say, No.
No. No. No. No. No. I’m not doing that with you. And so that I don’t like.
And that made me have a really difficult time loving him in that in that circumstance.
Yeah. Something else that I don’t like I just thought of, which is a little bit unique is that If somebody, all of a sudden, they blow up at me and they’ve got these 25 things that I’ve done over the past number of years.
You’ve been holding on to them.
They’ve been and I didn’t know. It’s like
I can’t fix something. I didn’t know.
What are you talking about? It’s like, well, you did this and you did that.
And I’m like, and that bothered you?
Mhmm.
Well, why didn’t you say something to them?
Yeah.
You know, and And so all that time, they’ve been acting just like everything’s fine between us when they’ve had that in their heart all along.
And that’s not an honest relationship.
Lettnett Fester and Lett you know. Yeah. I don’t like that either.
It’s and then but then people like me, if little things, um, and I I’m sure that this makes me difficult to love to some people.
Like, if little things do kinda aggravate me, I don’t say every little thing, but I am 1 of those people, like, Hey, that hurt my feelings.
I don’t, you know, and I’m sure that annoys people and makes people think I’m complaining or nitpicky.
But I do like because I don’t want it to fester, and then every time you’re I’m around you, then you do something else and just piles and piles and piles.
I am 1 of those people that are like, it’s not a huge deal, but when you said that, that did kinda rub me the wrong way.
You know? And so, I could see how I could be And yet
the other side of that is is the Bible says that love is not touchy. Yeah.
So you have to find a balance in that.
Otherwise, Everything will get on my nerves. Yeah.
I like
the I didn’t like that either. I didn’t like that.
What about you, Ginger? Who do you have a hard time with besides me?
We said no specific names.
Wait a minute. You didn’t deny it.
You know I love you, miss Joyce.
Um, no, I I have so many similar ones. I’m listening to each 1 of you. I’m like, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. That person’s really hard too. So you begin to realize, wow, I’ve got a lot of problems.
Think I like it.
Because the the people who are negative negativity just pours out of some people.
And and I do have a really difficult time with that. I was like, find something to be grateful for.
Right. Think of a solution instead of a problem.
I mean, Those are all things that are really important to me.
And and it is interesting how, like, what you were saying, Jay, the things that are important to us are often the things that annoy other people.
You know? So I I don’t like to not deal with things.
I am a confrontor, so I don’t like when someone’s just gonna complain about something and not find a way to fix it.
I don’t enjoy people who don’t listen. I don’t enjoy that either.
I don’t enjoy people who talk too much.
Exactly. So there there are so many different things.
And I think digging into some of those practicalities of, okay, why Like, what you said about Mike?
Why does this bother me so much? Right. And how can I handle it differently? Right.
It doesn’t mean that I’m gonna love it. Sure. But I can love the person who’s doing it. Yep.
And maybe find a way to work through it.
Right. It is very good to examine your own heart about why does this bother me so Yeah.
And a lot of times, the only answer is is because I’m not like that.
Mhmm. Yeah.
And so we have this pride problem.
That says the way I behave is the way everybody should behave. Yeah.
And that’s what God had to really deal with me about.
I thought you know, I’m I’m quick at everything and you’re slow and I’m this and you’re that and I had to realize that god loves all of us the same and he created us very differently.
And we can’t have judgmental attitudes toward 1 another and be walking in love.
I had this thought just recently because I was thinking, how can all of us specifically Christians who We all have, like, the same goal and the same vision.
We’d, like, we love Jesus, and we wanna be good to his people. That’s the same.
How can we all think so differently and think we’re all right. Like, what is missing here?
That is so true.
Right? Yeah. I just don’t get it.
And so I kind of had this revelation, like, everybody comes to the table with their own perspective. Yeah.
Their own personality, their own life experience.
Mhmm.
And everything that I feel is based off of how I was created and what I’ve what I’ve experienced in my life.
So therefore, I think I’m right because of my experience. Yeah. But mine is so different than yours.
So, obviously, humans, we’re gonna bring those things to the table.
That reminds me of a verse that I looked up for me because it’s definitely 1 of my problems is exactly what you’re saying.
I didn’t mean to shake
my yeah.
It is 1 of your problems.
It is. You can because you know me well enough. You can just lay it out there.
Is I do want people to see why I’m right. Absolutely, to be right.
I want them to understand.
There’s a lot.
There’s proof. So there’s the Bible verse.
Um, it’s Fools find no pleasure in understanding, but delight in airing their own opinions.
That’s in Proverbs’ end.
I read that recently.
I thought, wow, that is so good.
I I can be that fool who is just delighting and making sure people know what I believe in is right instead of delighting and understanding 1 another and learning so much from each other.
Yeah.
And so, you know, I have to really physically take a step back and say, what do I need to do in this situation?
Is it time to shut my mouth?
You know, is it time to ask more questions of them and try to understand how it is that they’re feeling a little bit more, or is this a time that I need to stand up and and be vocal and say, this is important.
Yeah. Yeah. So the yeah. I’m not great at that.
That’s why studying all the the specific aspects of love in first Corinthians thirteenth. Yeah.
Is really so important because, you know, like I said to Jay, love is not touchy.
Love is not rude. It also says love gives up its right to be right.
Oh, yeah.
I’m not a dumb woman.
I don’t think that was in my bible. Version
is that?
I don’t want it.
George has that cross out in shopping.
I don’t know.
Maybe it’s a joy story. But Obviously, you know, we all go through that.
We wanna know how many arguments do people have just trying to prove that they’re right.
Mhmm.
And my oldest son David was very much like that, and he discussed so many arguments because he was trying to prove he was right.
And as he got a little bit older, I remember he said to me 1 day.
He said, you know, I think I finally figured out that being right is highly overrated.
Mhmm.
Yeah. It’s like you think you’ve won. Yeah. But in god’s eyes, you’ve lost. Yeah.
We have to understand, and god will help you with that.
If you just I just encourage people watching to try that the next time you have a bad reaction to somebody or even just to say now, Why don’t I like that person?
Yeah. I had that experience because it’s it’s very unlike me to naturally not like someone from the get go.
Yeah. Usually, I need a good reason. Mhmm. But there’s this 1 person, and right from the very beginning.
It’s not you. It’s not you. It’s Aaron.
Good to know. No.
No. No. Not at all. I I loved you all from the very first start.
But this this 1 person, and it shocked me Like, why do I dislike this person so strongly? Yeah.
And the things that they said and the things that they did, I was just I’ve got to get out of the presence of this person before, you know, I explode.
And I I finally realized that they very strongly in the way that they looked and acted reminded me of someone else — Yep.
—
that it hurt me that I had a very difficult relationship with.
Interesting.
And once I got that, it really did help. It didn’t make it completely go away. Be honest.
But it taught me how to love them in spite of in spite of the things that were hard to love.
Yeah. Yeah.
I had the same same situation with if if I came up across anybody that had a personality like my dad’s.
Oh, yeah.
I instantly just didn’t like them.
R are because I was so afraid of him, I would automatically start being afraid of that person.
Yeah.
And so we do. It’s amazing really the damage that’s done to a person if they’re mistreated in their childhood.
And it just takes time and working with god to get over it.
And the only only way you’re gonna get over it is to know the truth because that’s what sets free.
And so you have to be honest with yourself about yourself and really pray that God will show you not just what’s wrong with somebody else, but why am I responding that way?
Right.
If I’m supposed to love everybody and be able to forgive them and be patient and pray for them instead of being mad at them than what’s in me that’s preventing me from doing that.
I appreciate you so much sharing that.
For so many reasons, but for someone who didn’t have trauma as a child, like, I was just so blessed to grow up in a really great home.
And so I don’t have that perspective.
To be around people who have trauma and even even my husband had some stuff happened as a child that I I didn’t know about until we went to counseling the past couple years.
And hearing him talk about his experience, gave me such empathy that I didn’t know I needed to have. Mhmm.
And and I’m I’m so appreciative of you sharing because it helps people like myself know that it there are so much more happening here.
Like, he really is a hurt person. And no wonder he is acting the way he is.
Again, it doesn’t it doesn’t excuse behavior.
Right.
But I need to not think so much about myself that I’m forgetting about somebody else’s pain.
Right.
And I think that’s so important that we talk about that.
Yeah. It’s very true what you’re saying because I’ve had a number of people that tell me I’m married to Joyce.
You know
what I mean?
I’ll share my issues and my problems and the way I used to be and how God helped me.
And they’re still dealing with that and their spouse.
So hearing me talk about the fact that there is hope of change. Yeah. Yeah. You know? It’s huge.
The biggest thing that we need to do is learn how to think like god thinks, and the only way you can do that is by knowing the word of god.
In words to live by, Joyce Meyer shares how studying the word of god transformed her life.
Experience a deeper and more meaningful relationship with god through the evating collection of verses in this beautiful hardcover book by Joyce Meyer.
Discover the transformative power of his word, words to live by from Joyce Meyer. Get your YouTube exclusive offer today.
Go to joyce Meyer dot org slash words, and the number 2.
Have you ever been trapped in a never ending frenzy where every passing moment feels like a blur, leaving you gasping for a chance to pause and catch your breath.
In her insightful book, pursuing peace, Joyce Meyer explores the importance of seeking at all costs.
This beautiful hardcover edition is filled with meaningful scriptures and uplifting quotes from Joyce, providing value guidance for living a peaceful lifestyle.
So grab a cup of coffee, find a comfortable spot, and embark on your journey to find peace.
Remember, this limited time YouTube offer won’t last long.
Go to joyce meyer dot org slash pursuit to get your copy today and start your pursuit of peace.