Judgment and Criticism – Part 2 | Joyce Meyer | Enjoying Everyday Life Teaching

Too many people get hurt by unfair judgments, criticisms, and straight-up gossip. How can we help minimize the damage? On this episode of Enjoying Everyday Life, Joyce Meyer shares biblical insights on human behavior.

Joyce Meyer, one of the world’s leading practical Bible teachers and New York Times best-selling author, shares encouragement and advice to help us enjoy our daily lives. With a heart to share Christ and love people, Joyce’s messages help people in all walks of life to grow in their faith, learn to study the Bible, find healing from the wounds of life, get answers to life’s questions and encounter the love of God in a powerful way.

Having difficulty admitting when you are wrong.
Do you know 3 of the most important words that we can learn seen god’s power transform my own life, and he will do it for you.
The key to everything is found in I’m Joyce Meyer, and I believe that god can heal you everywhere you hurt.
What causes so much judgment and criticism?
I bet some of you would know the answer. Starts with a capital p.
Pride. You got it. Pride.
The only reason why we judge other people is because we think that we’re better.
We look at what they’re doing, and we think we would never do that.
Or we think we know more than they do.
Pride is the foundation for all unrighteous judgment.
How many of you realize that if we critically judge somebody is almost always because we can do something they can’t do.
And we just don’t understand why they can’t do it.
But they can’t do it if god did not give them the ability to do it.
Now I’m not talking about your kids not cleaning their room up and that kind of stuff.
But but even in that, you know, there’s gonna be some kids that are gonna be more tidy than others.
I mean, I had a daughter that was a 1st class slob. I mean, she just not had.
I still have her. And, Oh my gosh. The girl was so messy. It was pathetic.
I mean, she couldn’t keep up with anything. And you know what’s funny?
She now works for me and helps keep my life organized.
Yeah. She’s given herself a title. You know what it is? The momager.
She manages mom.
And I would have never in my wildest imagination ever thought that that girl could have ever managed anything, let alone me.
So I’m just telling you right now, if you leave god alone and let him be god, and just pray.
You’ll be amazed if you’re willing to love people where they’re at. Whoo.
What god can do to get them to where you would actually them to be, but they never will be if you keep trying to make it happen.
Cause, you know, the more you try to make somebody do something, the more they’re not going to want to do it.
Has anybody noticed that?
So especially that way with men because of male ego, Oh, I just couldn’t help myself.
I had to say it. 7 symptoms of pride.
A critical person is proud.
A fault finding person is proud.
A harsh person, somebody who’s just hard on people who’s legalistic and has too many rules and regulation about the way they want everything done.
We shouldn’t be harsh.
Paul wrote to Timothy, and he said, if you need to correct somebody, do it with courtesy and do it with gentleness.
So even when we talk about confronting people or talking to them about sin or dealing with them about something.
Don’t ever try to do it unless number 1, you pray first.
You make sure it’s what God wants you to do.
You make sure you have the right timing because I can tell you timing is everything.
You don’t wanna talk to your man about something when he has gotten stuck in a traffic jam and has been on the highway for 2 hours.
And he comes in the door mad and hungry. And that’s when you decide to tell him off.
It’s not gonna work. But I’ve had instances where I’ve finally learned.
I don’t just go talk today about anything I want to at any time. I pray first.
Sometimes you pray about it first. God takes care of it. You don’t have to do anything.
Imagine that. God answers prayer.
And, uh, but then if I if I wait till I feel the time is right, it’s amazing how people will listen if you do it the right way, but you can’t go in with a haughty attitude.
So you can’t be harsh.
Feeling that you need to constantly teach other people or give them advice is a symptom of pride.
On the other hand, if we are offended by the advice that people try to give us, then that’s pride on our part.
An out of balance need to correct people is a symptom of pride and having difficulty admitting when you are wrong.
Do you know 3 of the most important words that we can learn? Relationships is I was wrong.
And you guys need to practice that.
I could tell that didn’t go over too good.
You all looked like I threw a rock at you.
Like, can you say that I was wrong?
Okay. Let’s talk for a minute about rumors.
Matter of fact, let’s talk about social media and rumors.
First of all, first Timothy 519 says, don’t listen to an accusation unless it’s presented and confirmed by 2 or 3 witnesses.
That was good.
We had a good amen from a manager. And then it needs to be reliable witnesses.
You know, it took me a while to get here, but the first thing I say now when somebody calls me with a stupid story about somebody that I love and admire.
I don’t believe that. I don’t believe that.
And I’m not gonna believe that unless I have proof.
And I had somebody do that just, oh, maybe 9 months ago, called me and told me that somebody that I know very well did such and such and thus so, and I just said, I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that.
I said, you got your story wrong. Your information is wrong.
And I said, if I find out they did do it, then I will confront them, but I’m not gonna believe it until I check it out for myself.
And so I got right on the phone, and I called this person.
And I said, this is what I’ve heard. I don’t believe it.
But I wanna know from you. It was straightened out within a few minutes.
I called the first person back, and I said, you were wrong.
And don’t tell that to anybody else. Now, how much better is that?
Then somebody tells you a rumor and you’re like, I can’t believe it.
And then the first person you see is you are not gonna believe. Come on.
As Christian people, we should not be behaving like that.
This is some of the stuff that we’ve gotta get out of the church because it’s not god’s will for us to behave that way.
How much better would it be the next time somebody brings you a rumor about your pastor or, I don’t know, me, maybe you’ll hear, hey, there was a rumor on social media, not several months ago, that I was dead.
Yeah. It was out there big. Joyce Meyer has died.
I mean, we were getting Did you see that?
And I had to get on social I had to get on do a Facebook live thing and say, I’m not that.
I’m right here.
I mean, let let’s let’s I mean, dumb stuff.
Let’s just say that that somebody says, well, I saw the pastor’s wife with another man last night.
Well, don’t know. It could have been her brother. Could have been her cousin.
Why? You know, there’s something wrong, deeply wrong inside somebody when they have to say something like that, especially with that kind of at home.
And when you start hearing that kind of stuff from Christians, that’s a good indication for somebody that you don’t wanna spend a lot of time with, and you need to get away from it.
And I think that a situation that it’s perfectly right to confront.
If you know somebody in the church that is a gossip, that spreads rumors, that starts strife, If I were you, I would tell them that kind of behavior is wrong, and I can tell you it’s not the kind of person I wanna hang out with.
All you’re doing is causing trouble.
Because if you’re party to that, then you become just as guilty as they are.
Too many people are hurt by rumors.
Too many people are hurt by gossip and so much of what people say.
I mean, there may be some thread of something in it, but it so blown out a proportion that it doesn’t make any sense to anybody, and it’s very dangerous.
Don’t listen to rumors.
And there’s so much junk on social media today.
I mean, it is oh, it can be used for such good purposes, but we better understand that the devil’s gonna try to use it too.
Don’t get on social media and say something bad about somebody else You don’t even need to give your opinion about somebody else on social media.
Don’t do that. How about this?
How about beef if before we judge anybody else, we examine ourselves a little bit.
I gotta read your favorite scriptures on not judging.
Matthew 7, 1 through 3. Do not judge and criticize and condemn others so that you may not judge and criticize and condemned yourselves.
Just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticizing condemned and in accordance with the measure you use when you deal out to others, it will be dealt out to you again.
In other words, what you give out, you’re gonna get back Why do you stare from without at the very small particle that’s in your brother’s eye, but do not be aware of and consider the beam of Kimber that is in your own eye.
Typical, isn’t it?
When we judge other people for minor things and we’ve got huge faults, you know, a lot of times, that’s just an excuse to not deal with our own issues.
My dad was very critical and judgmental, and that man was such an unbelievable mess. Oh my gosh.
He had so many deep problems in his life, but he all he ever did was see fault with everybody else.
And sometimes if we stay busy what’s wrong with everybody else. We don’t have to look at ourselves.
Now, I wanna say a few more things about this thing about opinions and just we have to be very careful that we don’t try to put our convictions off on somebody else if those convictions are not necessarily biblical.
Give you an example. At a wonderful aunt, She’s gone home to be with the lord, so she’s probably gonna hear me talking about her now, but everybody’s happy in heaven so she can’t get mad at me.
Um, and she grew up in a pretty strict church and, I mean, she was full blown religious person.
Okay? So there was a lot of things that she didn’t believe in.
And, um, one of them was going to the movie.
Didn’t book she didn’t believe in going to the movies, but yet she would watch movies at home on TV.
It it shows you sometimes the foolishness of what just dead, dried religion can do to you.
But then I remember her saying things to me when I was going to the movies to try to make me feel guilty going to that movie house.
You don’t need to go to that movie house. She’d sit at home and watch movies on TV.
She didn’t think that that I should wear colored eyeshadow.
So I mean, this was years ago, but people were putting eyeshadow all over their whole eyes, and I had blue eyeshadow and she’s wiped that blue jump off your face.
You just look like a hussy. Get that stuff off your face.
Just get that off your face.
But I can tell you what, you’re not gonna go to hell for wearing blue eyeshadow.
Amen? This is the kind of stuff I’m talking about.
Come on. And we all we all get into this to a little degree.
Honestly, can you be honest and say, if we feel strongly convicted about something ourselves, it’s very easy to try to push that off on everybody else.
And we shouldn’t do that, not unless we know by scripture that it’s sin.
And even then, you can’t push gotta be done in love and in the right way.
This may be the most fun candid conversation we’ve ever done because we’re going to encourage people that it’s okay to let their hair down to relax and to have fun and talk about how to do it and some of the things that hold us back sometimes when
we need this. It wouldn’t go very far.
It’s down now. Yeah. I think sometimes we we think of our responsibilities.
We think of the weight of the world. We we all have hard things in our life.
People are hurting. So to encourage everyone that it is okay, even in the midst of some hard things, to laugh now and then to have the joy of the lord, um, and just have fun.
Do something fun now and then.
Well, that’s why we call our TV program enjoying everyday life. Sure is.
Because I had such a hard time with this, what you’re talking about.
And it got started in my childhood from being abused and my father just was not a fun guy.
He wasn’t in the fun. He was just mean and rules and regulations, and I can actually remember getting in trouble for laughing because I was making noise that he didn’t wanna hear.
Yeah.
And so I kinda My natural personality is a choleric and their workers anyway.
So I already started out as a worker.
And then I felt accepted by him more if I was working than if I was having any kind of fun.
Mhmm.
And so, man, I mean, I had a I had a rough go with this.
I mean, a really rough go.
I just I felt guilty anytime I was enjoying myself because I just felt like I should be should be working.
And I remember some of the things that god said to me to help me get out of that one day a girl called and said that I wanna go somewhere with her.
And I said, no. I’ve gotta clean my house and, um, which I did every day, by the way, back then.
And, when I hung up, the Lord spoke to me. He said, the dirt will still be here tomorrow.
You need to go. And now, obviously, you can’t think like that every day. Right. You know, but I needed.
He knows what you needed.
I needed to realize that, you know, it’d be okay to wait until another day to do that because I needed to go and relax.
And, uh, interestingly enough, this past weekend, I mean, I I had 2 days of what I would call a true Sabbath rest.
I sat in a recliner almost all day both days
I Good for you. I’m so proud
of you. And I I didn’t do any work.
I didn’t feel like I had to study.
I looked up different Music artists that I like on YouTube and listen to music and I watch some movies and I just just didn’t
do anything. That’s a big step. I mean, that’s unusual. So what what made that happen?
I don’t know. I don’t know if I was too tired to move for a while.
But I just I enjoyed it so much and I realized that I still have that feeling like I need to do.
You know? Mhmm. I need to be productive.
Yeah.
Everyday. I need my my natural personality, a type a personality, is motivated by accomplishment.
And so It’s very hard for us to go through a whole day and feel like we didn’t accomplish anything.
Mhmm. But actually when you when you rest, really rest you are accomplishing something.
You’re building up the strength that you need for the other things that you need to accomplish.
Yeah. And Yeah. The I I can relate to that having much of that personality myself.
I’m also I’m kind of a mix with the choleric and the sanguine.
So so I wanna keep things moving and get a lot done and have fun doing it all the time.
So, basically, I wanna tell people how to have fun. And make sure they do it right.
Well, you have a great you have a great personality.
Our son, Daniel, same thing, strong colleague, but he’s gotta have fun.
I I just I remember just feeling guilty. Mhmm. You know, if I wasn’t
people. Yes.
If I wasn’t working, all the time.
And so on the personality test, the ones that I took years ago, they had points like so many points for this and so many points for that.
And I was like 38% but I think the total score was 40.
And I was 38% choleric, 1 point, San Juan, and one point phlegmatic.
So that meant that 38% of me was gonna be wanting to work all the time.
1% could have fun and 1% could rest and not worry. Yeah.
And so I think now, actually, I would be more equally divided.
Uh, there’s a book by Tim Lahay called Spirit Control temperament. Mhmm.
That no matter what your natural temperament is, when you’re controlled by the spirit, You know, like, for example, when I preach, I’m actually really funny.
You are. And I know it’s the Holy Spirit because I wasn’t that way in my everyday life when I started, and I’m I’ve gotten a lot funnier.
My kids think I’m hilarious, but Dave and I have been married 56 years, and we actually probably have more fun now than we ever had.
Last night, we were fighting over the cover. Part of the night. And he’d say, you’ve got all the cover.
I’d say, you’ve got all the cover. And then he’d pull it and I’d pull it back from him.
And
Finding those little moments that are huge.
Yeah. Instead of making a problem out of everything. And like you said, and people need to get this.
When you have a problem, it is okay to go ahead and enjoy your life.
Because being miserable, if you’ve cashed your care on god, if you’ve prayed about it, there’s nothing you can do, there’s nothing he’s shown you to do, then you need to give it to him.
And the joy of the lord is your strength.
And I heard somebody preach a sermon one time and said, It’s not your stuff that god wants.
It’s your that the devil wants. It’s your joy.
Mhmm.
So he comes through our circumstances Yeah.
But his goal is to steal our joy because our joy is our strength.
Yeah. You know, I’ve I learned that so strongly traveling the world and seeing how people in so many situations are hurting so much.
And it can really weigh of course, on them terribly and and on you as you go in and it’s easy to to feel like, um, I I don’t have much to offer in a situation like this.
And and to feel like you have to be down because it’s it’s a sad situation and people are hurting.
Hard to come home and feel guilty because you have anything.
Right. And what kinda showed me in such a beautiful way is the best thing I can take into those situations is the joy of the lord.
So going in with like, here’s an example, like, a a group of kids who are working in a brick factory
Right.
Literally working in a brick factory and letting them be kids playing with them, laughing with them, just running around and playing is the best thing you can do.
You don’t wanna go in and And, of course, we’re supposed to bear 1 one another’s burdens, but you don’t just go in and be sorrow sorrowful
Right.
That the joy of the lord is a powerful thing, and he wants us to to have fun.
Yeah. You don’t need to bring a sad face to somebody who is already said.
And it changes those kids.
We’re not suggesting that everybody just be a goofball all day long and just do nothing, but just laugh and giggle and not take things seriously, but the Bible has a lot to say about joy.
Like John 1624 says ask and receive that your joy may be full.
So what what’s he saying?
When you have a problem, ask god for what you need, receive it by faith, so you can go ahead and have joy.
And I think it’s John 1713. Jesus was talking to them about some different things.
And he said, I’ve told you these things that my joy and delight might be fulfilled in you.
So his joy, I mean, how much joy did Jesus have that that it might be fulfilled in us He wants us to have the same kind of joy that he had.
And so even when he was going through a difficult time, like in Hebrews, it says for the for the joy of the he endured the cross for the joy of the prize that was on the other side.
So when you are having a problem, instead of thinking about the problem all the time, think about the victory that you’re going to have.
I always really love to think about how Romans 828 promises us that all things work together for good to those who love god and are called according to his purpose.
So if you love god and you want his will in your life, then whatever happens to you, god promises us that he will work it out for good.
But there is that if there, if you love god with all your heart and you want his will, No.
I don’t think you can complain about your problem and feel sorry for yourself all the time and be angry with everybody else who doesn’t have a problem.
I think we need to maintain the right attitude, the attitude that Jesus had.
But you know, even though he knew that he was gonna go to the cross and suffer the way he he did, He was never irritable with his disciples, and they did things that would make you irritable.
Mhmm.
They could be very annoying when I read those stories. You know? You’re thinking, wow.
Um, you you learn so much by the way Jesus treated people.
So in all of this, it’s refusing that guilt that might be coming against you, um, giving yourself the permission and the time to rest like you did last weekend, to have fun, to laugh with your friends, um, and not feel like somehow you’re you’re missing something god wants you to do instead, you’re celebrating who he is.
You can even make your work fun.
You know, when I come up here to the studio to record TV, I mean, we’re we’re about 3 hours into this today.
And we’ve laughed a lot already.
And so anytime that you have the opportunity to laugh, a Mary Hart does good like a medicine.
And so there’s an inappropriate time to do it.
But anytime it is appropriate, you should do it because it’s actually very healthy and very good for you to do.
And the devil wants to steal your joy. He does not want anybody to be happy.
And as Christians, we have a lot to be happy about because we are gonna spend eternity with god and see him face to face.
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The mind actually is the battlefield.
That’s where we win or lose the war with Satan.
He said, all he gets to Thank you so much. This is a lot of it. Today’s mine.
You start asking god to heal you and he will restore.
It’s the god of all comfort, and I am so grateful that how to call on god.