Craig Groeschel: The Most Underused Leadership Habit

Imagine walking up to a vending machine, inserting your money, making your selection, and pressing the button only for nothing to come out. Most of us have experienced that frustration before. Maybe you try again, putting in more money and pressing the button one more time. But if nothing happens a second time, chances are you’ll walk away.

Because you gave something, but received nothing in return.

The same thing often happens in the workplace.

If you’ve ever worked at a job you didn’t enjoy, there’s a good chance the problem wasn’t necessarily poor pay or unfair treatment. More often, the deeper issue was this: you didn’t feel appreciated. You worked hard, gave your best effort, and nobody acknowledged it. No encouragement. No recognition. No affirmation.

And when people repeatedly give their energy without receiving appreciation in return, discouragement begins to grow.

Now ask yourself an important leadership question:

Is that how someone on your team feels right now?

Most team members show up every day, work hard, solve problems, and give their best effort. Yet many of them receive very little meaningful encouragement. They know that if they do a great job, nobody may say a word but if they make a mistake, they’ll hear about it immediately.

That’s what happens when people work without consistent, thoughtful, and intentional affirmation.

Today, I want to talk about one of the most overlooked leadership habits: the power of affirmation.

And when we talk about affirmation, we are not talking about shallow flattery or generic comments like, “Great job, team!” shouted as people walk out the door. True affirmation is intentional, personal, and specific. It communicates to people that what they do matters and more importantly, that they matter.

This leadership habit is far more important than most leaders realize.

If you ask managers why employees leave their organization, many assume people leave for higher salaries or better opportunities. But research consistently shows that only a small percentage leave for those reasons.

The number one reason people leave is because they do not feel valued.

Think about that.

People often leave not because they are underpaid, but because they feel undervalued.

The good news is that this is something leaders can change.

So how do we become leaders who genuinely affirm and encourage others?

1. Make Your Affirmation Personal

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is appreciating everyone the same way. Eventually, generic appreciation stops feeling meaningful because people receive encouragement differently.

Too often, leaders default to the same phrases:

“Good job.”
“Way to go.”
“Great work, everyone.”

While those comments may sound positive, they are usually too broad to create a lasting impact.

People are unique, and they experience appreciation in different ways.

This principle is similar to the concept found in The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Although originally written about relationships and marriage, the principle applies powerfully to leadership as well.

Many leaders naturally express appreciation the way they personally prefer to receive it. But effective leaders learn how others best receive affirmation.

For some people, words of affirmation mean everything. A handwritten note, a thoughtful text message, or a specific voicemail recognizing their effort can deeply encourage them.

Others feel most valued through acts of service. Instead of simply saying “great job,” you step in to help lighten their workload or support them in a difficult moment.

Some people value quality time more than anything else. Spending uninterrupted time listening to them and focusing fully on them can communicate appreciation more powerfully than money or rewards.

Others appreciate thoughtful gifts. It doesn’t need to be expensive just personal. Maybe it’s a favorite book, a small item related to their interests, or something that shows you truly noticed them.

And even appropriate physical gestures, such as a high-five, handshake, or encouraging pat on the back, can make some people feel seen and appreciated.

One leader shared a powerful lesson after trying to encourage a staff member with words, only to discover that the employee didn’t value verbal affirmation as much as quality time. The leader realized he had been expressing appreciation in the way he personally valued it, rather than in the way the other person best received it.

That realization changed how he led.

The truth is, you may genuinely care about your team, but they may not fully feel it because your method of expressing appreciation does not connect with them personally.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply ask:

“How do you best feel valued?”

That question alone can transform relationships, strengthen trust, and dramatically improve team culture.