Teaching Children Good Etiquette and Manners

In today’s fast-paced, technologically advanced society, teaching children manners is more important than ever. One of the most important jobs we have to do as parents is to help our children develop social skills, show them how to interact politely with people, and teach them to treat others. respectfully.

Whether the occasion is a holiday get-together, a family meal, or a simple trip to the grocery store, parents can use these social opportunities to instill good manners in their children. well that will become a routine part of their lives in adolescence and beyond. Here are some great ways parents can teach their children good manners.

Key manners to teach your child

Here are a few manners that all children should know.

• Don’t forget cousins: It is the cousin of “Please” and “Thank you”. Be sure to teach your child to use phrases like “I can,” “Fine, thank you; and how are you? “Patricia Rossi, author of Daily Rituals.
• Emphasize cell phone etiquette: If your child has a cell phone, make sure you convey the message that it will not be brought to the table. (In fact, you might want to consider banning all electronic devices from the table and turning off the TV so you can focus on each other and chat over dinner.) Rossi suggests letting your child put the phone on. cell phone in the basket when the child walks in the door.
• Emphasizes the importance of being gentle when competing: Teach your child not to gloat when he wins and cheer for others when he loses. Good sportsmanship will be an important skill children acquire later when they need to work with others on projects and other endeavors at home and at work.
• Encourage your child to use “Mr.” or “Ms.”It may sound old-fashioned, but using titles and surnames is really the best way for a child to address or refer to someone, says Rossi.
• Teach your child the habit of waiting for her turn to speak: This is one of the problems that many children, especially young children, face. That’s because usually, children want to express their thoughts as soon as something happens to them. Children are also naturally centered and may need to be reminded to wait until someone has finished speaking before interrupting. To help children learn this habit, parents can try using visual prompts, such as a stuffed animal or a talking stick. Simply ask everyone to speak when it’s their turn to hold the talking stick to teach children to wait for their turn to speak.
• See how they should answer the phone: When answering the phone, teach your child to say, “Can you tell me who’s calling?” instead of saying “Who is this?” Rossi said. And for safety’s sake, tell your child not to say your family’s name when answering the phone (as in “Smith Mansion”). Also, remind your child to never scream in the house for you but to walk up to you and tell you that you have a phone call. If you’re not available, teach your child to say something like, “She’s not available. Can I have a message, please? ” And ask your child to take down the information, repeat it to the caller, and ask the caller how her name is spelled.
• Teach your kids good table manners: Whether it’s a big holiday meal with the family or a casual weeknight dinner, your child should be skilled at handling basic table manners. Basic good manners such as not chewing with your mouth or waiting to eat until everyone has been served can be followed by even the youngest school-age children. And as kids get older, they can help clear the table and have a nice dinner conversation.
• Practice greeting people properly: Showing your child how to say hello properly is one of the most important skills you can teach your child, says Rossi. Teach your child to look people in the eye, face them directly, and shake hands when meeting them. A great way to practice these skills is to go through them with your child while role-playing.
• Remind your child to talk to people the way they want to be talked to: That means not using rude comments like “Shut up” or speaking in an unfriendly tone, even when disagreeing with someone.
• Teach them to say “Please” and “Thank you”: Of course, this is one of the basic foundations of good manners. As children get older, parents can encourage children to write thank you notes, preferably with pen and paper. It goes without saying that children should learn to say thank you for the gifts they receive; but they should also be taught to say thank you to those who support or serve them, such as waiters in restaurants, and even their mom and dad when they do something for them in the process. daily activities.
• Teach your child good manners in the playground: Remind your child to follow your home’s rules when visiting and always clean up before leaving. Make sure your child always greets the host or hostess, never puts his feet on the table and chairs, and waits until the host has eaten first at snack time. Also, emphasize the importance of using “library voices” in the home. Rossi says: “If your child is hosting a playdate, make sure your child puts his or her friend first, by having your child sit in the best position and serve your child first.

The manners that children often lack

When we see bad behavior around us, what can we do as parents to ensure that our children have good manners and treat others with courtesy and respect? Here are some manners that many children today are lacking (along with the skills associated with them) and what parents can do to instill the fire in their children.

• Interact with the person next to them instead of staring at the screen: This behavior is so common among both adults and children that there is a term for it: phubbing, or phone snatching. Children today often use technology media devices and continue to use them when with friends or adults.
• Greet everyone properly / have a chat: Many children today do not practice basic good manners when meeting or talking to others. Good etiquette means looking the other person in the eye when greeting and talking to them, listening to what they are saying, answering questions and waiting for your turn to speak — skills many children are learning today. short.
• Open / hold the door for others: Has your child seen someone struggling with a stroller and bag and noticed that they might need help opening the door? They will observe an elderly person fiddling with a large bag and ask if they need help? If the answer is no, it’s time to redirect your child’s thinking.
• Say “thank you” and “please”: It is a sad fact that many children today are surprisingly rude when out in a restaurant or other place where someone is serving or helping them. Even kids ages 3 and 4 should be reminded regularly to say thank you, but it’s all too common to see kids of all ages — even older kids don’t need reminders. reminder — lack of these basic manners.
• Write a thank you card: This is something that has become much less common since we all started using email and texting. And while sending an email or text to express gratitude is fine, actually sitting down to write a physical note to express gratitude for a gift or favor is even better.

How to improve your child’s behavior

Here are some ways you can teach your child good etiquette to alleviate the specific manners they are lacking.

• Having conversations over dinner: Not only are regular family dinners important for children’s health and development (they have been linked to a reduced risk of obesity, healthier eating habits, improved social skills and emotions, better academic performance, etc.), they can be a great opportunity to ask children to practice how they should talk to others and how to talk (listen, wait for their turn to speak, disagree. respectfully, etc.).
• Have your child say “thank you” and “please” often.: Whether at home or at a restaurant, get your kids into the habit of saying thank you when someone serves them food, helps them with something, gives them a gift, or does something else for them. . Teach your children to always respect waiters, taxi drivers, and anyone else who serves them.
• Ask them to write thank you cards: A proper thank you card will express why your child appreciates a certain gift or favor, and include some recognition of the particular gift.
• Set a good example: Of course, your child will learn by watching you, so really take a close look at your own behavior. Do you say thank you when someone does something for you? Do you speak respectfully to your children and those around you? Do you treat family, friends and strangers with courtesy and respect? Evaluate your own manners and behavior and make adjustments if necessary so your child can use you as a model to follow as he or she learns how to properly interact with people.
• Show them how to write polite emails and texts: Your child will communicate via email more often as they get older. Go through some of the basics, such as how to greet someone in an email, how to write in a clear and polite tone of voice, and how to initialize at the bottom of an email (with “Sincerely” or “Sincerely, “or”Best”). If you’ve allowed your older school-age child to access social media, make sure he or she never posts vulgar comments.
• Teach them the importance of empathy: Get your child in the habit of looking out for people who might be in trouble (like someone fiddling with a door or a heavy bag). Guide her to think beyond her own needs and think about how she can support someone who may need a helping hand.
• Turn off the TV: Scholars talking to each other and hurling insults are common on news programs, not to mention the “shy” attitude you often see on many children’s shows. All in all, reducing device time is a great idea; Research shows that cutting back on screen time improves children’s health, grades, and behavior, among other benefits.
• Find ways to limit the use of cell phones and other electronic devices: There are benefits to restricting screens beyond the possibility of building better manners.

A very good word

Remember that you set standards. If you’re sitting at the dinner table, texting on your cell phone, or talking to people rudely all the time, your child will internalize these behaviors and will most likely copy them. If you want to raise a good and good child, the first thing you have to do as a parent is to take a close look at your own behavior and make sure that you always practice good manners yourself.