Lysa Terkeurst Shares Her BEST Advice for Recovering from Betrayal

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Today, we’re excited to have Lisa TerKeurst as our guest. If you’ve ever wondered about the red flags that signal someone might not be trustworthy, you’re in the right place. That’s exactly what we’ll be talking about in this episode, brought to you by Convoy of Hope. Whether it’s organizing events or supporting families in need, Convoy of Hope helps churches reignite their passion for compassionate ministry. You can partner with them at Convoy and learn more by clicking the link.

This episode is also sponsored by Glue. Stay connected with your church members by using Glue’s free texting services. Visit glue.us for more information and to start texting today.

Now, let’s dive into my conversation with Lisa TerKeurst.

Lisa, it’s great to chat again!

Thank you, Carey! It’s always a good day when I see your name on my calendar.

Like many leaders, you’ve been through a lot in recent years—personal challenges, painful friendship breakups, and the end of your marriage, as you mention in your new book. While that’s a heavy place to start, it’s something every leader listening can relate to. Almost all leaders have experienced a betrayal of trust at some point, often by someone they counted on. What’s been your experience with this?

Absolutely. I was just reflecting yesterday on the different stages of betrayal. Let me walk you through them and share my personal experience.

The first stage is when you sense something’s wrong, but you can’t quite pinpoint what it is. As Christians, we often want to believe the best in people, and that can make things complicated. Our hearts want to trust, but our minds may be picking up on warning signs.

The second stage is the shocking moment of discovery or disclosure. In my case, it was discovery—and that can be even more painful than disclosure. When someone discloses their betrayal, it can be a sign that they’re taking responsibility. Discovery, on the other hand, can feel twice as devastating because you’re uncovering things they chose to keep hidden.

Finally, the third stage is how the betrayer responds. If they respond with humility, there’s a chance to repair the relationship. However, in my case, trust kept getting broken with each new discovery. It became impossible to rebuild trust when there was no real admission beyond what was uncovered.