Sarah Jakes Roberts: The Importance of Balance & Rest in Your Everyday Life | Praise on TBN
Sarah Jakes Roberts: The Importance of Balance & Rest in Your Everyday Life | Praise on TBN
Sarah Jakes Roberts and Touré Roberts sit down with Bobby Schuller on TBN’s Praise to talk about the importance of mental health and how you can bring balance to the chaos of life to better serve God and your family.
On the air since 1973, TBN’s flagship ministry and talk show Praise is one of the most recognizable — and most watched — Christian programs in the world. Taped before a live audience and hosted by TBN’s own Matt and Laurie Crouch along with other popular personalities, Praise features the best in contemporary Christian music and worship, fresh and impacting ministry voices, engaging interviews from a wide variety of guests, and a fast-moving hour of relevant talk you won’t want to miss!
I’ve had to learn to not punish myself for not being everything to everyone but to be honest about my capacity and to not judge myself for my capacity and to trust God with other people because that’s another thing that I think we have to learn to do if we’re honest a lot of us want to be Jesus Junior I want to be there for every single thing that’s happened to you I want to hear everything you have to say and we just spread ourselves so thin but even Jesus Took time away I was a single mom and I can remember
trying to overcompensate and be two parents even though I was just one yeah and in taking care of my two children at the time one of the things that I really had to remind myself is that I’ll never be able to be two parents but I can be one really great parent and in being one really great parent I’m going to have to take time for myself so that I know what I’m feeding my children and not just what I’m putting on the table but what’s in my heart what’s in my soul because at the end of the day they’re going to feed
from the environment that I create and so one of the lessons that I learned as a single mom that I’ve even taken into my incredible partnership with my husband is the ability to communicate with my children on a level that they can understand how I’m feeling so I have a six-year-old and sometimes she wants to read me a book while I’m cooking dinner and trying to respond to an email and I’ll say I want to give you all of my attention so if you give me one second to finish this email I’ll be all
yours if you let me turn the burner down then I can be all yours because my tendency when I’m stressed or out of balance is to say girl like what do you want for me I’ve been talking to people all day I’m not ready to talk to a six-year-old or I’m letting the food burn like forget dinner we’re going to McDonald’s I’m ready to quit everything because I didn’t just communicate that like I’m not in a place to do everything and so I’ve had to learn to not punish myself for not being everything to
everyone but to be honest about my capacity and to not judge myself for my capacity and to trust God with other people because that’s another thing that I think we have to learn to do if we’re honest a lot of us want to be Jesus Junior I don’t know if I can say that on TBM but said now we want to be Jesus Junior I want to be there for every single thing that’s happened to you I want to hear everything you have to say and we just spread ourselves so thin but even Jesus Took time away that’s right
even Jesus said I need to breathe and so while we’re practicing being Jesus Junior we might as well put on the full costume and go out into the Wilderness to go out away from our disciples and our friends and our followers and now say God Holy Spirit this is what I need this is where I am in need so before I show back up to the multitudes whatever your multitudes look like you’re full of the presence of the presence of God and the presence of yourself You’ you’ve really lived this and I I I’m sure there
had to be times during That season of your life where you felt like I’m going to be stuck here for a long time or you felt like I’m not you know I’m not a good mom a thought came to me as you were talking and saying this and I’m like I think if you feel guilty about taking time for yourself that’s a pretty good indicator that you’re probably a pretty good parent right CU bad parents don’t feel guilty about ditching out on their kids it’s the good parents that if you’re already probably doing a pretty
good job if you have the sense like I can’t leave I can’t leave and so you’re just giving people permission today to invest in yourself right investing in yourself is one of the best ways you can invest in others that’s kind of one the idea I’m getting from your book is that when I when I spend time here with the Lord or in a way to refill my tank I’m going to be the kind of parent my kids need I don’t need to feel guilty not only that you’re going to be the kind of spouse that your partner needs you know
cuz one of the things when ter I first got married he would go for the weekend and he would take some time to pray and be in the presence of the Lord and and to maybe do a little shopping and eat a little Sushi very spiritual very fish and five loves of bread fish and rice it’s giving Sushi and um I had to really deal with my heart about that cuz I think I to me I I want to say I felt abandoned but the truth is that I was really kind of jealous that he was able to take that time away and then he goes you take your time too and when we gave
one another space to do that in the context of our marriage we became better Partners to one another now we we weren’t like off the map you know he could he could find me and call me and I can do this same but it’s an opportunity for us to to breathe and exhale cuz we’re constantly breathing in so much it’s any when you said that I I remember hearing that and I don’t know if you’ve seen this but resentment is located not in anger but in Envy yeah I saw that with for neigh that’s who it was it was
for NE out and that hit me so hard I was like so what you were saying was just that exact thing that that if you’re feeling some resentment towards your spouse and let’s be honest if we feel resentment it’s usually towards a spouse you know a lot of times and there’s something about what the spouse is doing that you’re you’re envious of so it’s like the way to get rid of that anger sometimes is to find a way to do what they’re doing too right and you know just looking at you guys you seem like
you’re in love you seem like you have a great marriage you’re so fashionable and successful but I’m sure there’s people on TV that are going you know I’ll never have something like that or you know or or like of course they have bots in their life but do you do you have challenges in your marriage in your family things you face I mean I know you do I mean but it’s hard when people are at home they don’t always see it because you look so great what are what are some ways that Bal do you have challenges
first of all if you don’t asking such a personal question of course you do but how does this idea of balance speak more to especially in marriage how can help you with your marriage yeah I I think that the individual is the center point of balance um and again in a marriage in a relationship you are often so connected to things that are outside of you that that’s where the challenge comes in um when you look at a marriage a marriage you’ve got two people involved in that marriage I have discovered that when each person is well
that’s when the marriage does well yes and so so the idea of balance for me honey you mentioned capacity earlier and I thought that that was a phenomenal word as it relates to balance because here is the truth we all have a limited capacity in fact we ourselves are a limited resource and so balance is about protecting that uh it’s about acknowledging hey I’m getting close to empty you know what I mean like I you know and if I if I hit empty that’s too far you know when you think about driving a car MH you know if you get to
empty you’re on the side of the road right right and so so you have signs and you have gauges in your car uh and sometimes just a flat out knowing wait I’ve been driving 4 days you know and and so it so it is to fill up it is to to to recognize that if if my tank goes low we’re going to have problems in our marriage right if if my tank goes low I’m not going to have have the patience or the awareness to perceive where my kid is and what my kid needs yeah and so challenges sure we do because all of us
flirt with the the the the Eline don’t we you know we we flirt with with empty uh but I have learned see all it takes I’ll tell you a story I ran out of gas one time and it was not fun yeah all it took me was one time to run out of gas to say I’m never going to run out of gas again so we practice balance we we recognize that man if if I’m on empty you know I’m going to come I’m going to be fussy when I come home I’m not going to have patience I’m not going to be nurturing and God forget here’s the thing the
person that I am when I am not balanced is not this guy that’s sitting here yeah so it’s kind of like the the you wait when you say you ran out an empty I thought you talking about your car but you meant personally e well both yeah yeah I co-pastor with my husband but I don’t speak every Sunday so I may not relate fully to the every Sunday pressure of having to get up and speak but I do do think a lot of things at my house and in my home and they’re pretty daily and in doing those things I’ve got
a little ego when I start thinking I’m the only one who can do certain things like I’m the only one who can cook the dinner I’m the only one who can do the girl’s hair I’m the only one who can do the homework I have put this pressure on myself to be the only one who can do it and what I am learning is that I do take pride and making an incredible meal for my family I do take pride in the way I do the girls hair and the homework and all of those things but I’ve also learned that it is not the end of the
world if we order in it is not the end of the world if they walk around and their hair is not brushed today at the end of the day sometimes I have to choose my Wellness my health over um you know trying to be super mom because there’s an imaginary badge that comes with that sometimes you got to be willing to take the cape off there was something you said at the beginning of this conversation about and it was philosophical but it was something like you thought balance was about time management but it was actually about
something God was doing like inside of you like you were looking at what did that look like practically in your life can you give him like a story or an example where sure for me it was during the pandemic and I was trying to figure out how I was going to balance everything the kids are now home fulltime you know we’ve got dinner we’ve got lunch and I’ve got businesses and I had a book that was due at the time and I was trying to figure out the time management and I really just felt like the presence of the Lord saying like
you’re stressed about all that you have to do but there is only one thing that you need to do I felt very much like Martha in that moment and I I wasn’t selecting that good thing that Mary selected and when I took the time to really select that good thing for me honestly I have found that good thing in waking up earlier because I’d end up getting to the end of the day thinking to myself I just there’s not enough time in the day for me to take care of myself there’s not enough time in the day for
me to pray and meditate and breathe and enjoy a book or get a workout and um so there is time I just you know I love sleeping like Jesus loves the church like that’s one of that’s my second love this is my first love but sleeping is like my second love but I started waking up earlier about 5:00 in the morning and in the Stillness and quietness of the house I had an opportunity to pray meditate work out watch an episode of this is us all before getting the girls up ready for their routine and so I had
to find the time to really check in with My Soul so that I could really determine what I could do for the day because there are some mornings I wake up and I’m like I can’t complete this day with all of these meetings and expectations so I could readjust and reshift early in the morning and make room for me to be present in the very life I was trying to build and morning’s a big one isn’t it I mean that’s how you’re kind of starting your day I think there’s this myth that there’s morning person and a night
person but you’re just a morning person if you go to bed earlier I mean you just got to change it it’s like changing a time zone if if there’s a such thing as a morning person and a night person then how do we travel you know adjust so I think I think that that you’re right that that that beginning of the day and and it’s a way of investing in yourself too that’s kind of the theme Here is not feeling guilty having a quiet time not feeling guilty getting alone time not getting away as you said GE you said
like Jesus loves the church I thought you were going to say like Jesus loves napping because he does love napping too that’s true remember I mean like you think about the story you know where Jesus is sleep the storm that is not a mother sleeping through kids yelling I don’t know what is we don’t have a high priest that doesn’t know what it’s like to be one of us that’s right that’s right yeah he was totally just like us and faced what we face and God didn’t make us too busy did he no he didn’t he
and God wants to be with us and he has a way and maybe there’s a faith element too I think that sometimes especially if we’re really in a corner financially especially yeah that it takes a little faith to say I’m gonna dial back even though there might be some Financial loss and trust that God’s going to fill that Gap do you think that’s a good thing to do it it’s absolutely that was me this week uh I’m I’m negotiating several uh significant deals uh and I put them all on hold and and you know
and you know business and you know particularly at the early stage of investing in something time is of the essence if you get in early and right then you can secure a u a a greater position than what you’re in and just this week because I was pretty depleted from my book tour there things that you know fear could make me think it cost me a whole lot of money but I put them off you know my rest is more important than me I took one of those deals now because I’m not crazy I’m kidding but I had capacity for that one and the others I
put off and and I just believe that God will never penalize you for prioritizing you yeah he will never penalize you for getting good and well with him because at the end of the day here’s one thing I think is important Jeremiah 29:11 we all know it for I know the plans I have for you says the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you to give you a future and hope well we have to see that right if we look at that and think that God is talking about bringing things into our lives we missed it look at what he says
for I know the plans I have for you plans to prosper you and not to harm you to give you a future and hope the focal point on that promise is not what he’s going to bring to you the focal point that promise is him prospering or making whole and well you yeah and also I think that passage is located to the people in Exile not the people at home so they’re dealing with a punishment a judgment something that went not go the way they thought it would be they’re in their their Hebrew people among the
Babylonians they’re not of people they’re not of a home they’re exiled they’re away from the promised land and it’s and just before that I think I I hope I got this right I vaguely remember this but I think God God says to them something like basically bloom or your planet be here for now I’m going to get you home but for now be here it’s okay I’ve got this under control build cities and then I know the plans I got for you I got for you I changed I have for you but that’s a good word it’s so so often
I it is it’s like the thing I’m learning from you during this interview is like the senses is like God’s not forcing us to be in a noisy place all the time he’s not forcing us to be on our cell phones all the time he’s not forcing that sometimes the the release of some of these things is going to open our hands for maybe the gift he has for us kind of is that right progress comes from the place of rest rest um when I look at every sign ific thing that has happened to me in life it was not from the place of stress
of worry of hustle and bustle every significant Dimension elevating thing that has happened to me happened when I found a way to rest in God there’s a chapter in the book called The Gift of rest and that’s what it’s about and so rest is not something that happens from Without You mhm coming to that place of rest is what happens inside it’s it’s Philippians chapter 4 you know uh don’t be anxious about anything prayer and supplication make your request known to God and the peace of God which passes
all understanding will keep your heart and mind and so so peace and rest is the precursor for progress It’s good yeah it’s so good you know we’re teaching this to our children too so our babies range from 25 to 6 years old and you know they’ve got the stresses of their life on their level so they’ve got a test they’ve got homework they’ve got marriages and college and job insecurities and you know when they start to get anxious we tell them to breathe you know take a moment breathe
and to really allow your soul to come from a place of rest are you going to had did you do the best that you could do if you did the best that you could do then we learn and grow from here that’s all we can do and now our six-year-old she’s inspiring me cuz we’ll be in the middle of dinner and you know we’ve got a large household so everyone’s loud and making noise and she goes I’m going to go upstairs and have some me time and I’m like little girl sit down but also go take care of yourself because there
is something about giving them the tools now to help them understand life is going to be overwhelming you’re going to find moments where you feel in Balan at 6 at 19 at 12 and that’s okay that’s a part of life but you can come to a place within yourself where you’re able to discover balance again and she reemerges and she’s all happy and ready to play but we’re giving her permission to take a minute and unplug even if it means unplugging from us so that she can plug in as the best version of herself such a
great Point too is that if we don’t take care of ourselves we’re teaching our kids not to take care of themselves the way we treat ourselves is how the kids are going to treat their themselves for sure we’re teaching them how to sacrifice themselves on an altar that we can’t even identify or label ourselves sometimes it’s the altar of public opinion sometimes it’s the altar of trying to make up for something we didn’t in our past and we wonder how these generational curses passed down
from family to family to family it’s because we never took a minute to be Soul aware and ask ourselves why do I feel obligated to do this is it to prove who I am is it to make up for what I did and when I can come to an answer that it’s pure and it’s passionate it’s what God has called me to do that’s great but the scarier thought is that maybe it’s because I feel pressure and stress and most of the time we don’t really want to answer those questions so we keep up and we just that door theet but in our
prayer time in our Stillness in our meditation we have an opportunity to ask those scary questions in the secret place God’s going to keep your secret but you can say I don’t know why I’m doing this and I feel overwhelmed and in that space God gives us permission to to change to modify or to show up differently so that’s the I think an Incredible Gift we get from even that Soul awareness and and and what we’re talking about um although very true very biblical very practical very can be um
corroborated even in Psychology the average person never slows down enough to get to that place yeah and that’s why this message is so important yeah this says You must stop you cannot be who God has created you to be unless you have the faith to stop and really address What’s happen happening inside and if I could just say one more thing um cuz I just feel for all all the mam out there watching who feel like I don’t have enough time with these activities and stuff sometimes Stillness for me is taking the girls to the park
letting them play and sitting on a bench and breathing in the air of God taking in the Artistry of our creator and reminding myself that the same artist that created this surroundings created me as well and if I can’t find the beauty and magnificent in magnificence in my life it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist it just means that I’ve been going so fast that I can no longer see it that’s a good point too because the the idea of stopping doesn’t mean that you have to buy a ticket to to Mexico yeah
or even leave or leave your house yeah just stopping is about stopping your world taking it could be in the bathroom it can be out where I find a lot of my that’s a really good maybe throwing your cell phone in the freezer just for a while in fact that’s probably 90% of stop is just taking your cell phone and putting it in the closet somewhere yeah isn’t it amazing how how stretched we’ve become because of just a cell phone it’s it’s weird it it opens up a whole world to us but it’s also addictive in a way
just like any anything else is I think there’s a desperation for what you’re calling people to and I think the Holy Spirit called you to write this book because people need it today
