Healed from Schizophrenia Bipolar & Suicide / Todd White
Healed from Schizophrenia Bipolar & Suicide
Lifestyle Christianity exists to see a generation walk in their God-given identity by equipping people to encounter Jesus daily and walk like He says we can. Founder and President Todd White was a drug addict and atheist for 22 years before he was radically set free in 2004. Todd’s heart is activating people into the simplicity of who they really are in Christ and equipping them to live a 24/7 Kingdom lifestyle! Lifestyle Christianity provides multiple ministry tools to equip everyday believers to live out this lifestyle, including: Power and Love and Lifestyle Christianity University.
Lifestyle Christianity University (LCU) is an equipping program designed to disciple you in your God-given identity and equip you to extend the love of Jesus in your day-to-day life! LCU offers a two-year program with an optional third-year internship.
I love freedom more than anything.
I love the reality of someone absolutely getting free from this debris of guilt shame. See, I was bipolar.
I was borderline schizophrenic. I was manic depressive. I was depressed my whole life. I was suicidal.
My whole life, I remember wanting to kill myself as a young boy at nine years old.
I was hooked on porn at 8. I mean, it destroyed my life.
And so this stuff just gathered, and I just constantly was addicted to everything.
And there was no way for me to be free from this.
And then when Jesus came in, and he showed me who I was.
When he showed me who I was, every addiction broke off of me except for one.
The permission to be addicted to god’s love.
See, for me, I’m a person that need I have to have more.
I can’t just taste a little. I’m not just like, oh, that was good.
Don’t bring me a big plate, an expensive plate that it’s a little tiny piece of meat on that plate.
Did you ever do that at a really nice restaurant and they bring you something?
It’s like, you eat that little bite? No. I want all that I can get.
I want it all. And so for me Jesus.
Jesus Jesus love you. It’s crazy, man. It’s so good.
When I saw the cross, then I saw what Jesus did.
When I saw that he didn’t justify for me, he did not ask me.
When I saw that he didn’t ever sin, and he became sin.
That I might become when I saw that he was marred beyond any man, ever, beyond any man, depart shredded, the passion did a good job, but it wasn’t nearly the description that the Bible says he had.
You couldn’t recognize him. He became unrecognizable.
When I ask people why they say, well, because bias stripes are healed, there’s deeper truth to that.
It’s not just that. See, we were born and made in god’s images god’s image, but we forfeited that in the garden, the enemy.
Tried to do the same thing to Jesus if you really are, then do something to prove it.
Jesus didn’t bow out. He came to die so that we might live.
And when I saw that I was the joy, set before him that he pursued the cross because I was the joy on the other side.
All I did was hurt people.
All I did was seal, kill, destroy, but Jesus said, I want that one. Pop.
I want that one right there.
When I got that, when that thing hit me, and I realized that he was fascinated with me, that he nipped me and my mother’s womb that he was the one that formed me, whether my mom was ready for me or not.
Here I come. And god knit me there.
My mom didn’t hit me there, so no matter what she said about me when was in there.
If she said, I’m not ready. I wish this kid wasn’t here. Doesn’t matter because all life comes from god.
And when I found out that god thought about me, when I read saw him 139 and saw all that that god god, you can’t hide from him.
He sees everything. When I saw that fascination, his love hit me and wrecked me.
And I had to find out all these thoughts.
If he has more thoughts, for me and outnumber the grain of sand in the world and every thoughts for my welfare.
What if I got ahold of 10 thoughts?
What if all I could think about were were fifteen thoughts that the father thought about me all day long?
All these thoughts that the enemy tries to plant in you they wouldn’t be able to even take root because you’d be so rooted and grounded in love and so fascinated with god’s heart for you, with god’s love for you.
That those thoughts wouldn’t even calibrate. It wouldn’t even be. You would just that’s the enemy.
God, thank you that I’m a 100% opposite of what he said.
And he wants you to be so fascinated with his heart for you.
He wants to be so head over heels He wants you to see how head of her heels he is for you.
He wants you to know the price that he paid determines your value.
He wants you to know that he’s always listening. He’s never ignoring you.
Sometimes we pray and we we didn’t get an answer to our prayers, and we think god’s not listening.
It’s impossible for him to not hear you. You’re his child.
And so many times we go through so much in life and we’re trying to Where are you god?
Where are you god? And he’s as close as the mention of his name.
And when you pray and when you say father, You have an intercessor that sits at the right hand.
His name is Jesus, and he’s constantly interceding for you every day all day, all night, He never stops.
And he’s constantly constantly gazing at you constantly. He never looks away from you.
If you would dare to catch his gaze just for a moment.
Your eyes for the world would end and your eyes for Jesus would begin.
And all of a sudden, you would start to see people from heaven’s perspective, start to see people with your mindset on above and up beneath.
You would have the eyes of Jesus. They’re the eyes of your heart.
And you would see people that the world calls trash, and you would understand the treasure that they truly are.
They’re just covered with trash like you were before you said yes to Jesus, and then god uncovered you and allowed you to see him.
You would be so pricked by the father’s love that you wouldn’t be able to live for yourself.
You would live for him. You would be so wholeheartedly, wholly abandoned to a god that would never turn his back on you.
If you would dare see that the father cares about you so much, regardless of what your parents did or didn’t do.
So many people hear that word father and they say, well, you know, my father wasn’t this much because your father didn’t know the lord.
And why would I allow a father that didn’t know the lord to a father that really wants to know me.
There’s a difference between you saying that you know god and you knowing that you’re known by him.
There’s a difference between you saying you love Jesus and you being loved by him.
I’m talking about a passionate pursuit of a father that never gives up. His love never runs out.
Talking about one that would never turn us back on you.
Talking about one that wants to be intimately involved with you, wants to completely cover you and lavish you with this love, overwhelm your soul with who he says you are so that we’d stop listening to the world.
One that would so intimately consume you that every morning when you wake up, like, I wake up every day in the Holy Spirit’s right there.
I love you. Good morning. I didn’t do anything to earn that.
I just said yes. I didn’t go, god, what can I do for you? No.
It’s what can I do with you? What can we do together today?
How can we put labor to win people to you? God, thank you. Help me.
Live my life burning for you. Don’t let me miss it. I just want to be in love with you.
I wanna live my life out loud to the whole world can watch me burn so that they don’t have to burn for eternity.
My heart cry has got, like, make people hungry for your presence the reality of who you really are.
Don’t let people miss it. Look, we all go through life. We’ve all got stuff that is constantly bombarding us.
I’m wondering if you dare to hear the voice of the father saying, come home. Come home.
Don’t just come to church. Come home. Don’t just come to a building.
Come home and be my building. God says. Come home and be my temple.
Would you dare to give up your right to be offended.
Would you dare to give up your right to be hurt?
Would you dare to give up your right to have rights? Because you’ve entered into a theocracy.
You’re not in a democracy in the kingdom.
It’s the king and what he says goes, but if you would dare to de see what he says about you.
All that unforgiveness would go away.
There’s no way for you to just forgive in the natural because thing keeps coming up.
You have to supernaturally know the love of the father and forgiveness will overtake your soul that you will never hold anything against anybody ever again, no matter how horrendous, no matter how horrible it is.
It says to be filled with the fullness of god is to know the love of god that’s in Christ Jesus.
God wants to fill you with all of his fullness, and it’s assessing for you every day.
You’ve got a Holy Ghost inside of you. He’s crying out, Abba father, Daddy god.
He’s crying out from inside of your heart.
If you would dare to see that you’ve got 2 parts of the godhead crying out to the 3rd part of the godhead.
There’s an it’s impossible for god to not hear your prayer. It’s impossible.
I feel like there’s a lot of people in here.
That have lived and have that thing, that root, that unforgiveness thing that is just haunting you, and you you want to, and you just can’t seem to break through.
But I want you to break through.
I want you to see god’s love for you because when you see it, you will automatically oh my gosh.
I’m so sorry. I’ve held this against you. And they might say, well, well, you’re an idiot.
And you say, that’s okay. I might have acted like 1, but I’m sorry. Well, you should be.
Well, I really am. Not saying you’re sorry for them. I mean, you’re not saying you’re sorry for you.
You’re saying you’re sorry for how you acted.
Look, when he said that thing about parents and VBS, it’s so imperative, but I believe it’s only because of a lack of a love identity.
We need to know how love we are.
We need to know how how wanted we are by god. Man, it’s god wants you.
He wants you to be fully surrendered. He wants you to burn with heaven.
He wants you to be consumed by his love.
He wants you to know what it means to be right with him.
Look, if you’re in that place, come up here.
If you’ve got that in your heart, if you’ve got some stuff that you need to work out right now with the lord, come forward.
Just come up. There’s already someone up here. Come up with the altar. Don’t wait.
Just come and just get down before the lord. Let’s all stand up. God is super powerful.
He wants to cleanse you and wash you clean. He doesn’t want you to hold on to that stuff.
He wants you to be free so that you can finally see while you’re on the earth.
This isn’t you’re not coming forward because you’re bad people. It’s not about being bad people.
It’s about being a people that god’s badly in love with, and he wants you to know that, and he wants you to be overwhelmed by that, but people do stupid stuff.
But the stupid stuff that people do is because flesh and blood is not your war.
It’s principalities and powers. And unforgiveness is like drinking point than hoping the other person dies.
They don’t get hurt. You do. I mean, they could get hurt, but it hurts us more.
What it does is it’s separate you from having an intimate relationship with Jesus.
Because when we hold unforgiveness and we hold that stuff, that bitterness, we in relation shouldn’t have done that.
Well, you’re right. And I agree. Some people are hurt by leadership, and they’re like, well, they were leaders.
They shouldn’t have done that. You get searching.
Then you go to the next church and you hop to next one.
And you’re looking for maybe you’re not gonna get hurt, but you’re finding fault.
Listen, it’s true that they should have done it. And I agree.
If you got hurt by leadership, the leaders shouldn’t have done it. They shouldn’t have said it.
They should have known better than to say what they did, but you shouldn’t have been better who you were when that came.
You should have known who you were when that came so that you didn’t get offended.
You didn’t get hurt, but you would be like Jesus who from the and the mire and the ripped apart flesh with his beard torn out of his face with blood running down from the crown of thorns that he took for the chastisement of your peace.
From the stripes that he took on that tree, from the muck and the mire, he says, father, Well, if his last words and he had to push up on the nails to say it, push up on the nails and pull up on the re the nails in his wrists because they suffocate on a tree.
Forget them. They know not what they do to the very people that were cursing him and saying, bring yourself off of there.
If you’re really here, Who do you think you are? Call on Elijah.
If you’re really him, yanked down off of that cross. Come on. And he said, father, forgive them.
They don’t know what they’re doing.
Jesus said that because he knew that by doing what he did, you would the ability to what they because you know who he created you to be.
Listen, Jesus was unrecognizable on that tree. He was. Why? Because god created us in his image.
And in the image and likeness of god, he made us. He had become unrecognizable.
So Jesus became unrecognizable so that you and I might become recognizable once again.
He paid such a high price way bigger than getting to heaven.
Even though heaven’s an amazing ending, it’s not our mission.
Our mission is to destroy hell, but the first place that hell needs destroyed is between our ears.
It’s between our ears.
We can’t afford to think like orphans, and we can’t afford to people that don’t have an amazing father that loves us.
God loves you so much, and I’m sorry for what your dad did. I’m sorry.
He didn’t know any better. He didn’t know any better.
Don’t live your whole life hinged on somebody that didn’t your whole life hooked to a father that knows everything.
And he knows and he has thoughts and plans for you plans to prosper you, and god wants you to be in good health and prosper even as your soul prospers, your mind, your will, and your emotions.
And go is absolutely head over heels for you, not because of what you did for him, but because of your dear your dear to believe that what he did for you is enough.
And the blood of Jesus, a cleansed your conscience from all those dead works so that you could serve god and live with not a guilty conscience anymore.
A guilty conscience is horrible. A convicted conscience is amazing. The Holy Ghost paid a price.
Jesus paid a price to give us the Holy Ghost.
The Holy Ghost came to do 3 things to convict the world of sin, of righteousness, and of judgment.
Of sin because they don’t believe in Jesus, he said, of righteousness because Jesus was gonna go to be with the father and of judgment because the ruler of this world has been judged.
Listen to me.
Being convicted of righteousness is the power of the gospel because when you’re convicted of righteousness, you’re already convicted of sin.
Sin isn’t an option, but when you’re convicted of being right with god, Every morning, oh my god.
I’m right with you. Oh my god. I’m right with you. God.
I’m right with you because god not holding any of your junk against you.
If you adhere right now to release, just release. He’s not holding it. He saying I wanna wash you clean.
I wanna wash you. I want you to live and walk in freedom. Live woke in freedom.
Living walk in freedom. Redemption is powerful.
Cause redemption isn’t just getting to heaven, but it’s heaven getting into you.
And it’s as if you never sinned as if you never missed it.
From this point forward, from this point, this called repentance. Repentance. You repent.
You change the way you think.
You start to see how heaven thinks and how the other things, and that stuff has no more access to your soul.
Because god wants your mind, your will, and your emotions to be free.
So that you know they’re you no longer think with the debris of the world in there.
Are you with me? Watch this.
Jesus paid a price to forgive you of his sin, but he also so paid a price to heal you of a stain in your body that sin brought in.
Oh, man. Listen. Listen to this. So there’s people that have been with STDs.
And, man, they got bit and they wished they’d never done it.
There are people that have hep c because drug addiction that they wish they’d never done.
You can’t go back and fix it, but if you could, you would.
There are people that have cutting because of a life of of regret and guilt and shame.
But the reality of it is is if you’re forgiven and you get cleaned of that, then the stain of sin in that mark in your body must be removed.
Oh my gosh. We have seen so many people with HIV, with hep C.
Oh, god’s doing it right here. He’s doing it. He’s cleansing you. He’s washing you. I’m not kidding.
Oh, he’s burning that thing out of your body right now. Oh, it’s so real.
I promise you. I’ve seen it too many times.
I’ve watched countless cutting scars disappear off of people’s bodies while because they’re not the girl. They’re not the boy.
They put him there. They’re not the one that cut themselves. That’s the old you.
The new you is one that’s brand new. One that’s repented, that has nothing to do with who you are.
They go back to the doctors and show brand new liver scan and there’s no hep c.
Go back to the shock the doctors and show there’s no longer an STD. It’s gone. Come on.
This is real. They go back and HIV is gone out of their blood because they’re not that person anymore.
People are like, well, that’s too good to be true. No. He’s good because he is truth.
God is powerful, powerful, powerful, powerful.
Pray with me to say this lord Jesus, You forgave me, and you forgot what you forgave.
You took my sin and removed it as far as the east is from the west.
You have cleansed me. You have washed me.
And I’m asking you, forgive me of any bitterness or unforgiveness say this right now.
I release. I release. Say their name. No. No. Say their name.
Whoever it is you need to release right now. Say their name. I dare you. Sare say their name.
Say it right now. Come on. Say it.
There’s freedom in that right there.
There’s freedom in that right there.
If you can’t say their name, then you’re not forgiving them. Say their name.
That’s right. We release you. We bless you.
We’re asking god to overwhelm their life and show them who they are. Can you say it?
Can you say their name? Can you say their name?
There’s no freedom outside of this. I promise you. Can you say their name?
This is so important because we’re just thinking of it.
I’m not asking you to think about it. I’m saying say their name and release them.
I can’t tell you how intense. The freedom is here.
Father, we thank you in the name of Jesus.
I thank you for healing and wholeness for every heart here. God, thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for freedom. Be free. Thank you for freedom, god.
Thank you for freedom, god. Thank you for freedom, god. Thank you for freedom, god.
