Confrontation Is Necessary

One of the things that we need to do if we’re going to live bold, courageous lives is to be willing to confront the things that we need to confront. Now, none of us love confrontation and Joyce has a few things that she wants to remind you about to help you.

Now I wanna talk to you about confrontation because one of the things that we need to do if we’re gonna live bold, courageous lives, is be willing to confront the things that we need to confront.
If I said to you today, how many of you don’t like confrontation?
Who would put their hand up? Well, I mean, who really does? You know?
I mean, I’m kind of a bulldog, and it might be easier for me than some people, but I don’t like it either.
I don’t like making people mad.
I don’t like hurting people, and I don’t like it when people don’t like me. None of us do.
And so really for all intents and purposes, I don’t think any of us are in love with confrontation.
It seems like people confront too quickly without even thinking about what they’re gonna say.
I may have that problem. Or we just don’t confront at all.
And so just a few things I wanna remind you of.
Always be willing to confront people that are trying to control you or manipulate you.
And the world’s full of them.
All the enemy has to find is somebody that he can work through because he is a controller and a manipulator.
My father was a controller and a manipulator.
There’s nothing worse than having somebody Always trying to run your life for you, where you never have any freedom and you’re constantly being told how to act, what to say, what to do.
And the longer you let a relationship like that go on, the harder it is to get out of it.
And some of you have already got a pretty big problem.
And I wanna encourage you today that you have to make a change and you have to start confronting things because Jesus died to make us free.
He whom the son has set free is really truly and genuinely free.
And the only person that should be controlling us is the Holy Spirit.
And I’m not talking about being rebellious and not submitting to authority.
That’s not what I mean.
All need to know how to submit to the right authority that god puts over us, but I am talking about when somebody’s trying to manipulate you and troll you, and they’re always trying to make you do what they think you should do.
Galatians 110, Paul said, if I were trying to be pomp with people, I would not now be an apostle, the lord Jesus Christ.
That is so good. And I can actually say if I were just only cared being popular with people, which I do want people to like me.
But if that was all that concerned me, I wouldn’t be here today.
And many of you are borderline on missing your destiny because you’re overly concerned about what people think.
And you know what, haters are gonna hate and complainers are gonna complain.
And if they’re picking on you, at least they’re leaving somebody else alone.
Jesus made himself of no reputation.
He got that over the quick so he could go ahead and do what god sent him to do.
There was always some pharisee watching to accuse But I’ll tell you when you know who you are in Christ, then you don’t have to be overly concerned about the accusations of other people.
That’s part of being courageous.
In acts 5 29, I went to a church one time, and the pastor, I think, preached on this for 3 months.
And so I’ll never forget 529. We must obey god rather than man.
And these these apostles were being threatened with jail, and they’ve been told not to preach in that name.
And if you do, you’re gonna be beaten and you’re gonna be put in jail, and here they are out preaching.
And when they came to him and said, we told you not to do that.
They said, we must obey god rather than man. Come on.
That’s a good scripture for you to hang on to. We must obey god rather than men.
Let me tell you something. If you’re left with nobody but god, you still got the best deal.
Don’t give up your relationship with him to keep a bunch of people that probably don’t care anything about you anyway.
Confront your past.
My father say actually abused me and it was like the big secret in the house.
It was like the elephant in the room. It was like everybody knew, but nobody talked.
My mother knew because she had caught him at one time.
I told her when I was 9, but she was cowardly.
She didn’t know how to face the scandal.
Nobody talked about something like that that many years ago.
And of course, he lied to her and she was afraid of him because he was violent bottom line is her fear destroyed her life.
Really hurt mine destroyed my brother’s life and actually did not help my father.
Sometimes you can help people be free from something if you’ll confront them and not just let them keep getting by with it.
But the bottom line is it was just like We didn’t talk about it.
Well, I left home when I was 18 thinking that I was gonna get away from the problem, but the problem was I took a problem with me.
It was just in my soul. Just getting away from something doesn’t mean it’s over.
You gotta deal with it. But I believe that it was necessary for me to confront that place of fear in my life because I had lived my whole life in fear of him.
And Dave would even tell me after we got married, been married a few years.
He said, when you’re when you’re when we go to your mom and dad’s house or or your dad comes around, he said, you you become like a different person.
You act different. Well, when you don’t deal with those things that are in your soul, you do act different.
And for some of you confronting your past, may be as simple as sitting down with a trusted friend.
And talking about something that you did a long time ago that still bothers you or talking about something that somebody did to you a long time ago that still bothers you.
You know how many people there are that were abused in their childhood that are fifty 60 70 years old and have never told anybody.
And if you believe you’re totally free from it, I’m not telling you you have to do anything but I’m just saying we need to have safe friends that will keep our secrets to because sometimes you just need to vent.
Come on.
We just need to be able to tell somebody this, this, that, and something else.
And then we need to learn how to confront problems between us and other people and do it in a biblical, godly way.
Do you know that 1 or 2 sentences of straightforward communication can solve so many problems.
Because a lot of times we’re thinking that they’re thinking, and they’re not thinking at all.
So we’re acting weird toward them because we think they’re thinking.
And so it’s better just to say, are you thinking?
No? But you know why we don’t do that? We don’t want anybody to think we’re silly.
And so don’t be afraid to ask. Who cares if they think you’re silly?
Most of the time, it really has nothing to do with you at all.
So many problems are caused because when you have a problem with someone.
Instead of going to them, you go to a bunch of other people.
Which then becomes gosset and it spreads strife.
We try to teach people in our office this If you’re having a problem with somebody in your department, do what the Bible says and go first to your brother privately.
If your brother wrongs you go and show him his fault between you and him privately.
Privately. Come on.
And if he listens, you won back your brother, and then it goes on to say if he doesn’t listen, then you can take a couple of others with you.
The whole point is you’re trying to restore him, not ruin his reputation.
But invariably, what happens is because people don’t wanna confront Come on.
This is good. They’ll go to somebody else and actually make the problem worse.
Oh, boy, we need to stop doing that.
Don’t be the kind of person that’s afraid to confront things.
Do what you need to do and let god give you victory in your life.