Priscilla Shirer: Raising Your Children to Follow God

Priscilla Shirer and her mother, Lois Evans, sat down with Laurie Crouch in 2018 on TBN’s Praise to share advice on effective parenting, and raising your children to follow God.

I had to kinda hype myself up and remind myself that I was the boss.
So I think we live in a day and age where children are the boss.
Like, they’re kind of they’re totally ignoring what their parents wishes are because there are no consequences.
There’s no follow through, um, or there haven’t been enough parameters set.
And most of the time, even though your children won’t say it, they’re longing for some boundaries because boundaries given by an adult who loves them, says and communicates that they’re loved.
It’s intentional. It’s in it’s investing. It’s hard. Work.
It takes a whole lot to make it happen.
And, yes, we do have those real reality days, but in the midst of it, I had a mom and a grandmother that had just probably a heart of life than I had, and I saw them do it for his namesake.
And that’s what’s been ringing in my head.
All these years still does, as I watch my kids now raising my grandchildren.
Do it for his namesake because you have all you need to make it happen.
We were talking to all guys. I asked miss Lois. I said, do you do you speak much?
And she said only when the lord, only when the lord tells
you to. Yeah. Yes. I do.
So is she is she a mother of not many words?
I would say that not many words publicly.
So my mom has been sort of behind the scenes individual as dad.
My dad is doctor Toni Evans and Yes. He is. You know, got the small little fledgling ministry.
He’ll be somebody, somebody. Yeah. I’m just great for
him. Yeah.
But, you
know, they’ve
been faithfully passering the same church Yeah. That they started when I was 1 Yeah.
That myself and my siblings still attend to the state.
Yep.
But they started that church, you know, 43 years ago, Yeah.
So, um, there there has to be a very strong committed, faithful person who doesn’t necessarily isn’t necessarily the person that’s in the pole pit or, you know, underneath the spotlight, but that’s just consistent and faithful.
So that’s been my mom, not only with the church, but with the national ministry, the urban alternative, it’s my mom who was back there making all those engines run and just making the the ministry work and move forward.
So, um, it’s just been in the last maybe decade that that every now and then when someone has invited her to speak, then she said, okay.
I’ll go. But for a lot of years, you just were with us at home is what you were doing, raising kids.
That’s right. Because I really felt that was my calling. Yeah. That was my ministry.
Yeah.
And I had to mentor my life. My mother, she went home to be with a lawyer 2 years ago.
She was 97.
Oh my goodness.
And she looked at me one day as I was just trying to make everything happen and work because we started our church in her home.
Mhmm. And she said to me, Lois, this is your church. And I never forgot it.
So I buckled in and took care of my church, my ministry, my 4 children, and the ministry god’s called us to.
And I think the lord, my husband, is a very smart man. Yeah. He knows that my background is business.
So I helped him to start the church, and this Priscilla mentioned, start the engine of the urban alternative, which is our media ministry, and then start a ministry for pastor’s wife.
So, yes, I’ve been behind the scenes, but I feel really grateful that I stayed in my gifting.
Yeah. And my if I could use the term, my grid, my path
Your lane?
Got my lane Yeah. Yeah. Who got us called me to be a part of, but these children are my were my ministry because they’re gifts from the lord.
Yes.
Yeah.
I think it’s so great to hear that, actually, because I I think one of the hard parts about being a a mom of children right now is that there seems to be this message that purported that if you’re just doing the motherhood thing that you’re missing out on something, you’re supposed to be doing some worldwide ministry as well as mothering your children.
And so those that have chosen to just stay home. Yeah.
In some ways, I feel like it’s easy to feel a bit deficient or a bit like you’re not actually doing all that God has called you to do.
And I I think that that’s a that’s, uh, not not necessarily the the right message that needs to be Right.
Well, I extended to people.
I don’t either. You know, my dad used to I was raised in a pastor’s home and Uh-huh.
He always talked about the the family being the church in in miniature.
You know, and if it didn’t work there, You’re gonna have a hard time at working anywhere else if it didn’t work in your home.
Yeah. Wow. You know?
And that that was the ministry, and I know Priscilla, you’re you we all love to sit and minister to people, and we love to be about the father’s business, but that business is in the home as much as it is on the outside.
It’s our privilege Yeah. To do to raise our kids. Yeah. You know?
And and do you think it’s harder in this world today to raise children than it than it
used to be? I I really think so because there’s so many things that could distract your kids
Yeah.
From the path you want them to walk on because of technology. So I think it’s harder. Killer.
You know, I used to be able to let my kids walk to the library. Right.
Now with their culture today, I have to take my grandkids to the library.
I can’t have them walk and really just a block from the library, but I don’t feel it’s a safe environment and that type of thing.
So, yes, I think it’s harder. It takes more time, takes more investment, takes more work. Yeah.
It takes more work.
And I would agree I would agree with that because of the technology aspect.
I think that that as as my mom mentioned, the fact that we did not have that as a distraction, we had the privilege growing up a bit bored.
I think we have we have robbed from our children the glorious gift of boredom because imagination and creativity sparks from being bored.
Yeah.
And so I’m having to work so hard.
Our oldest son just got a, um, a phone, and he’s fifteen years old.
And, you know, me and me and my husband went back and forth about when that should be.
And the reality is we do live in a technological culture. So it is what it is.
We can’t just you know, keep them shielded from it completely because it’s our culture. Yeah.
But at the same time, uh, we are we are having to wrestle against this consistent influx of of of information and brain numbing activities that are available to all of us.
Yeah. I mean, let’s be honest. It’s it’s just the kids.
It’s Yep. I’ve got my phone.
By the way, she’s the only one with an iPhone on the set.
So for all of us, yeah,
I thought you got the Bible
on that. Thank you. Thank you. But it is a struggle.
It’s a struggle in and pulling it out of their hands and saying, no.
Actually, we’re gonna sit around the dinner table.
Yeah.
And we are gonna talk to each other. Right. Not text each other. We’re actually gonna talk to each other.
Right. And the reason why that’s important to me is because that’s what we did growing up.
So we had 4 of us. There were 4 of us and all different activities that we were in. Sure.
But my mom and dad were very now I realize intentional.
That’s
the only way it happens is if you’re intentional. Intentional about putting us around the table.
Yeah.
And that’s where we would spend time together as a family, other places as well, but we were gonna have dinner together.
Yeah.
Didn’t happen every night of the week.
But it was it was a consistent effort on mom’s part to actually cook something
Yeah.
And sit down at the table and eat it together. And that’s where we talked.
That’s where we had family devotions. That’s where we found out what was happening in their day. Yeah.
We learned a lot about them, and they learned a lot about us. Yeah.
You know, they actually got involved in how much ministry we did in the different seasons in our lives.
They would actually tell us, you guys are gone too much. Yeah.
But but around the dinner tables where we heard, what was happening or kids lies in their hearts. Yeah.
You know, like, Anthony or son, we learned that we couldn’t just tell him the day before that we were leaving for Africa.
Right. And we thought we were doing that was wise because he’s was our he’s our sensitive child.
And we thought, don’t don’t give him this information 2 weeks out.
Let’s just do it the the day before, but we learned at the dining room table that Anthony needs to know a year out.
So the dining room table was very important for us. Yeah. To learn our kids.
So is that lost on this this generation?
I think so. I think they’re eating around the television, or I saw commercial
Yeah.
Lori recently Yeah. Where families were sitting, eating dinner like we’re sitting today, but they’re all over there.
They were all on their iPhones talking to each other. Oh my goodness. Literally communicating, sitting together by the iPhone.
So I think it has to be intentional that we put the phones away whatever and sit some place where we really listen to each other and talk to each other.
And and meal planning doesn’t have to be huge because women are busy today. Yeah.
Many of them have to be in the marketplace, uh, helping to support the family’s income.
And so dinner could be spaghetti. Yeah. Just make sure there’s something green in the
Mom, you just freed a bunch of people out right there because I think we see on Instagram these beautiful images of these gourmet meals that somebody is making in their crisp white kitchen.
You know, it’s all white and gray and modern and, you know, it’s amazing. And the guilt. Yes.
And the guilt because we’re like, I’m I’m barely figuring out this hamburger helper right here. Right.
And, um, I mean, even my mom even recently, we had this conversation and she reminded me that there was a time when my dad said to her, don’t try to be new and creative about the meals.
Just cook what you know they like.
Like, because, you know, it’s frustrating when you do all that, and then you put it in front of your kids, and they’re like, oh, this is too spicy.
This is too I don’t like it. I don’t like it.
You know, and you just wanna say, you’re gonna eat it. Yeah. Today.
But instead of being frustrated, she was like, you know what? Just make what they like.
Just make what they like. Put some vegetables on the plate. Yeah. And then let it be simple and easy.
A one pan casserole is fine.
Oh, yeah.
Just do that. So you’re not frustrated. Yes. Sit down at the table.
Just hide the vegetables in the casserole.
That’s right.
And pull out a crock pot.
Right? A crock pot will change in that wire in there. That’s curious.
I love it.
And we kinda went through this little stage where when we got to the table, everybody put their iPhones in a pile and whoever gets on it first pays for the meal.
Oh. So that didn’t last long because I’ll see
you right now. With your children being adult children, you mean whoever gets on
Yes.
Oh, now. Okay. That’s a good idea.
So Oh. Whether there is an allowance or whatever, it comes right out of you.
Yeah. Oh. You know that, uh, Chick Fil A had this promotion at one point where they had these little, um, baskets that were on all their tables at all their restaurants, and they were called phone coops, like chicken coops, And the whole point was when you came into their restaurant, they were encouraging you to have everybody put it in a basket and talk and talk to each other.
Wow. And I thought that was so great and such a great example for families because we we have a, um, cell phone contract actual Oh.
And one of the things on the contract is after 7:30 PM, I think it might be 8 PM.
Um, everybody’s phones are plugged up. You cannot be on your phone after 8 pm.
And, um, also, at the dinner table, dinner table, you well, dinner lunch.
Anytime we’re sitting together at a meal or restaurant or for my kid, you know, when an adult is talking to
you, you
are not to be on your cell phone.
And I think I am tempted actually soon that I’m gonna put a basket out of the front door.
And whenever their friends come over, I think I’m gonna everybody That’s
a good idea.
Put their cell phone. So if your mom needs to contact you, sure, come down and see if she’s texted you.
But if they don’t have them, I find out that they actually go play pingpong.
They actually get get in a pool or they’ll play basketball or they’ll, you know, they’ll hang out.
Okay. So you’re you’re a mom with rules. Yeah. You’ve got 3 big boys. Tell us about those rules.
And how do we How do we maintain it?
How do we, um, I’m sure there’s a lot of women listening right now that maybe their kids don’t listen to them.
Yeah. Sure.
Much. How do you speak to that?
Wow. Do you know? I don’t know if I could speak to this really well, but I remember when my babies were babies, and they’re in crib.
And you know how you’re trying to maybe train them to sleep through the night or something, and they’re crying.
And every I mean, all your mom parts wanna grab that baby.
He just You just wanna get your hands on it, maybe, and stop the crying, and you wanna consult them.
I remember standing over the crib, um, because an older woman in my life encouraged me to do and reminding myself, I’m the mom.
I’m I’m in charge. I’m the boss here. Yeah. The baby’s not the boss. I’m the boss.
And I get the privilege of helping to shape this life to join with god.
He’s entrusted this life to me. I get the privilege of shaping this life.
And I only have really a short span of time to do it. Yeah.
But I, you know, it doesn’t seem like it at the time.
Every day seems like an eternity, you know, when they’re 2. Right.
But then when they get to high school, you start to see, actually, this is going really fast.
But I had to kinda hype myself up.
Yeah.
And remind myself that I was the boss So I think we live in a day and age where children are the boss.
Like, they’re kind of they’re totally ignoring what their parents wishes are because there are no consequences.
There’s no follow through, um, or there haven’t been enough parameters set.
And most of the time, even though your children won’t say it, they’re longing for some boundaries because boundaries given by an adult who loves them says and communicates that their love.
Yes. Now that
they’re gonna be taking.
I hate to cut you, but that was that word is a good word for single parents. Yeah.
I think that they’re inadequate. I need I need no. No. No. They’re still in charge. Yeah. Yeah.
So that’s a good work for single parents. So I
I have to remind myself of that even now. Like, oh, no. Actually, I’m the boss.
What do I want my children’s chai childhood to look like? What memories do I want them to have?
If I want them to have memories as adults, of sitting around the table with their family.
Well, then if I don’t make a rule about what that’s gonna look like, and here’s what we’re gonna do, well, then I’ve actually robbed them of a memory that they could have had an adulthood, but I let them just left them to their own devices and didn’t, um, cultivate that time.
So just it it almost it I guess, takes a little courage
to
work on yourself and Sure. I’m the boss here. Yeah.
I remember my dad talking about people coming saying, I don’t know what to do with my kid. You know?
He’s three years old, and
he’s just
and my dad would just look at him going, god gave you that baby when he couldn’t walk.
He couldn’t talk. He didn’t have any teeth, didn’t have any hair, and it’s your responsibility now to because it is a gift from god and we’re responsible for that gift.
Yeah.
What about women that have maybe passed that time where they have that influence I mean, I’m sure that’s where prayer is a huge is a huge way.
Yeah. Uh,
and still And I I say still take the opportunity if you if you can just pass that stage. Yeah.
I say still take the opportunity every time god gives you a chance to speak into your the lives of your children, even even though they’re adults.
You know, I still call my kids.
And if it’s a long inspiration god’s given me to tell my kids I tell them hang up.
And don’t when I call back, just when you have time, listen to what the lord inspired me to share with you.
So I think there’s always opportunity to still speak into the lives of our children, or those that we have care of family, friends, uh, I mentioned single parents.
If they allow you to speak into the children’s lives. You know, Proverbs 1821 says we need to speak good.
Yeah. And today, kids need to hear good. Because there’s so much evil around. Yeah.
And I think go ahead.
I was just gonna say, I think, also, to know that the mercy and the grace of god covers our faults and our frailties and our weaknesses.
So if there was dysfunction because who doesn’t have dysfunction, you know, in some capacity in the in the way they raise their children or their upbringing coming up Um, you just sit back in that and you go, okay.
Well, lord, you know what the lapses were in my judgment.
You know how I didn’t necessarily get everything right because nobody does.
And so god, would you bring the right people into their life?
Would you shape their character in this, you know, as a young adult? Would you do what now?
I I can’t do hands on because I’m not with them every day.
But lord, I give my kid to you. Yeah. And just know that his mercy, that’s what it does.
His mercy doesn’t give us what we do deserve. And his grace gives us what we don’t deserve. Uh.
And, um, and so that’s the goodness of god. Yeah.
And, you know, I love what you’re talking about, though, about setting the boundaries. Yeah.
Because in those boundaries, become safety. Safety. Yeah. And care. Because children left on their own.
I mean, the Bible tells us all about it.
Children left to themselves, bring shame, you know, but setting those boundaries.
And I think that’s so important because I do in a world that is so, um, you know, internet phones.
All of that boy, it’s easy to just let the kids be with other kids, go to their houses, and and they’re just kind of free to to do what they wanna do.
Yeah. And I think as parents, we do need to gather our children. Yeah. Yep.
And and bring them in house a little more than what they are. Yeah.
I I kept my kids with me.
I I have, you know, they went to school through the 3rd and the 6th grade, But but I kept him with me.
If I back back at that time, we had our own company, and I was able to travel with my husband, and I didn’t go without my kids.
We just didn’t match with neither. You know, we just took them, and I know that’s not a a
it’s not. Yeah. Everybody’s reality.
Sure. But, um, I think that’s so important.
Of course. Yeah.
Just being close by. Being close by. Yeah.
It’s like it I mean, think about when you’re people that nobody nobody thinks about this, but I saw a news story about somebody growing this prized tomato, and that’s the only reason why it’s on my mind.
And in order for the tomato, actually, to grow to the full capacity that it needs to grow.
It has to be strapped very closely to a post.
Um, that’s the only way that it and, by the way, other tomatoes have to be cut off that could have been good tomatoes.
But for all the nutrients to get to the one that’s gonna be the prized tomato, if it’s not close to the post, And if other things are not cut away, it will not get everything that it needs.
It it’ll be it’ll be okay tomato, but it won’t be the prized tomato if it’s not close.
Yeah.
And I think you’re right, and we gotta pull our kids in, get them close to the post.
And and, again, like, little things, like just having dinner together, like we’re talking about or deciding that before bed, hey.
We’re gonna sit here for 10 minutes. Everybody’s gonna turn off all your stuff.
We’re gonna play one round of Uno, and then we’re just gonna figure out what happened in everybody’s day.
Yeah.
I think little things like that where we don’t have to be perfect to parents.
Yeah.
But just consistent. Just pick the thing you’re gonna do and then do that thing.
Yeah. Do it well.
Just do it. Yeah.
Yeah. Wow. Did you
make them go church. Every time the church doors were open?
Yes. Unless there was sick unto death.
They they had to be there in church and Tony got to a point where, you know, the boys I just had them put on slacks and t shirts, you
know Right.
Or shirts. And Tony looked at me one Sunday and said, no. I want them to dress church.
This was 4 to something years ago. Now people go to church anyway they like.
They’re just comfortable, but he just wanted them to wear tie and a white shirt and things like that.
So that’s, yes, that’s how churchy we were.
But now I look at my grandkids, and they come to church in their shorts, and it’s fine.
It’s fine. It’s fine, Priscilla.
That’s alright. I just
wanna quickly say quickly say It’s fine. I admire that that there’s so much release and so much freedom now.
You’re right.
But in our day, 40 something years ago, your dad is very traditional when it comes to how you look for church And
and it will never catch you in skinny jeans church till to this day.
Lois Evans does not come to the church at skinny jeans.
Oh, boy. So church was very important. Yes.
Now as it relates to the youth service or the youth choir or things like that.
If my children said they didn’t wanna go, we had them sit with us in church.
Yeah. Yeah. But church was important. Yeah. What traits do you see in Priscilla that that you gave her?
That’s great. What? What traits did I give you, Priscilla? It’s kinda like a question for you. Go.
What traits did you give me?
Well, I think that my interest in being a mom who’s there for her children came from my mom because I saw that modeled in her.
And and it’s it looks very different for me because I do have ministry that the lord is entrusted to us.
So it looks a little bit different than when my mom did
it. Yeah.
Um, but that that’s important to me.
Lots of traditions like, every Christmas, we would always pick a family that was in need, and my parents would take us shopping for that family.
Yeah. And they I think that you tried to coordinate it, so there were some children in that family that were near our ages.
Right. Right.
So we could shop for those kids in with those kids in mind.
Then we would go to that that family’s house.
Yeah.
And we would give to them, and I still do that with my children now.
So there are things even like that that just got they’re just kind of a part of the fiber of my life.
Yeah. But then also, my mom used to teach us Bible stories with a flannel boy. Yes.
Remember back in the day?
Back in
the day, there’s no
eye ads.
There’s like a flannel board and these little felt pieces. Yeah.
And she put the felt pieces up on the black flannel. Do you still have the black flannel board?
No. Finally to go.
Aw. I’m so sad. I should have kept it.
But, um, you know, every now and then, she put the pieces in our hands.
Yeah.
So that we could tell the Bible story and look how the lord kinda lit a a match in my heart, lit a fire in my heart for telling the Bible story just from a flannel board and some flannel pieces and
Yeah.
Made in my pajamas at my mom’s knees listening to her tell stories. Yeah. So From the scriptures.
Yeah. 43 years past during here in the Dallas Fort Worth
Yeah.
Metroplex. Right? Yes. Right here in Dallas.
Starting our home with 10 people right here in Dallas.
Goodness gracious. Yeah. That’s some faithfulness. Yeah. And that’s a lot of mothering.
I mean, she’s mothering a lot more than the 4 of us.
We can
think about
it. Yeah. Right.
Mentoring a mentoring the whole 43 years. And sometimes it wasn’t mentoring coming out of my mouth.
Come on.
It was mentoring with them watching what I was doing with my family. Yeah.
Because I couldn’t in those early days, I actually sit and counsel and preach and teach that type of thing.
What I did was my ministry.
And now the women told me we just kinda followed what you were doing to your children.
And so I want people to know you’re mentoring all the time. All the time.
And everybody’s doing it, aren’t they? Yeah.
Yeah. And I think it was good too that they got to see us be very imperfect.
Yeah.
That We You’re
in perfect.
You know, my parents Are
you sure, girl? Oh, yes. Yeah. Oh, do you do tell?
Oh, listen. Yes.
But but we’re probably aren’t nosy. I gave my parents a run for their money.
Okay. So were you the problem, child? Okay. Now we’re getting down to business.
This is I had a
team of me. Probably gonna say of all of all my siblings. Seriously.
The one that gave you the hardest time.
Yeah. We kept our eyes. We kept our eyes in Priscilla a lot more.
They’ve got a lot more.
And the thing is, you know, the train up the child, the scriptures talking about train up the child and the way they should go.
Right. That hard work because you’re not sure where
they’re gonna go.
Away. Yeah.
And so but we kept our eyes on Priscilla a lot more.
She’s still is our outgoing personality, very gifted, and just kind of trying to direct that and not quench the the will
How do we do that? How do we do that?
Because there are strong wheel kids out there that that are get I mean, look at her. She’s She’s amazing.
Yes. Yeah.
You know, and and gifted, but she probably was a very, very strong
Malbie. But look how god is using Right. You know, the gift of communication.
And her dad, I must say on live television all over the world. But her dad takes credit.
We’re telling her
Hey, remind.
That she needs to do her her degree program in communication. Yeah. So I wanna make that announcement.
I wish my father would have done that for me.
Aw. Yeah. Because he’s we saw that in her. Yeah. She she still is.
She wants to plan things, and she’s the life of the party.
And mommy, I can do that when I had guest a dinner, which was almost every Sunday.
Priscilla wanted to do name, bat, nameplates, whatever you call them
Yeah.
For the guests so they knew where to sit. Right. And she would help me get the table set.
So we saw a lot of gifting in her, but we had to manage it because it could have taken her another way.
And I’m gonna just be careful here.
Um, so it’s just, again, I would say train up the channel the way that they should go.
It’s a lot of monitoring, it’s a lot of managing, it’s a lot of talking, it’s a lot of communicating, it’s a lot of partnering, with your mate or family members to make sure the kid walks in the path.
Yeah. Because you were trying to figure it out as well. What is god doing with this child?
Yeah. And So how do you think the easiest way to know to know that is?
Is that just the What the past. Yeah.
Time time with the children. Back to that kitchen table or dining room table, time And you would say daddy too spent a lot of time with you guys because a little bit of reality.
Some days, it was too much happening for me.
To manage 4 kids, pick them up from school, ball games, dinner. What’s the dinner?
And thank the lord, uh, the churches across the street from our church, from our home. Oh.
So I would tell I’ll call Tony and say, Tony, time’s up for counseling and ministering over there.
I need some.
I need you to come. And, literally, Lori, it would be so draining to try to figure out what to do with each kid that he would say, Lois, greet me with a kiss, and let me just go to walk them all.
Just let me out of the house Yeah. To recoup, refuel, restore myself, to come back to management.
So we’re not talking about something that’s easy.
In fact, you
said to me
recently that it was a lot hard years.
Very hard. I remember This is not my show. It’s Laurie’s show.
No. No. This is your show, ladies.
There are
a lot of women there. It’s hard, and they It’s hard, and they think
it just happens by us. Most for some of us. No. It’s intentional. It’s in it’s investing.
It’s hard work. I remember one day, we had a baby, Jonathan.
I remember looking in the bathroom and saying, thank you, Lord, for the gift.
And then I sat at the edge of the bed and said, What’s for dinner?
I don’t even know what’s for dinner. I don’t I can’t go to a grocery store.
I’ve got a little one here. What do we do?
I remember Tony coming home and saying, Louis, And so, Tony, I just don’t know if I could continue on with all the guts called us to do, because I really believe he just gave us a new gift, the church is growing, my ministry is growing, but I really believe my first commitment is to my family.
Titus 2 talks about that. And so the lord’s given us these priorities of family first and children first, but here I am sitting as a pastor’s wife and my hand in my lap, not knowing what next to do.
And I, yes, I sent Tony to the store. I said, get some back to the spaghetti again.
That was the quickest meal. Get some spaghetti, get something green, get some broccoli, and that’s dinner.
And Tony’s not a cook, but he helped me that day.
You know, so it it takes a whole lot to make it happen.
And yes, we do have those real reality days But in the midst of it, I had a mom and a grandmother that had just probably a harder life than I had.
And I saw them do it for his namesake. And that’s what’s been ringing in my head.
All these years still does, as I watch my kids now raising my grandchildren. Do it for his namesake.
Yeah. Because you have all you need to make it happen. You have all the power you need.
Sometimes, yes, we need respots. Any time away, but but to do it for his name’s sake, because Isaiah, let me go to my iPad real quick.
IPhone, uh, and I took didn’t know.
So let me read the scripture to you and why I do it day in and day out.
Uh, it says in Isaiah 5921. This is not just about you and me. It’s about generations to come.
We need to leave the lord’s name strong, for generations to come. It’s not about you and me.
It says in Isaiah 5th to 9 21.
As for me, god says, this is my covenant with them, my spirit that I’ve placed upon you and the words that I’ve given you to speak, they’re not going to leave your mouth near the mouths of your children, near the mouths of your grandchildren.
You will keep repeating these words and whatever stop. That’s god’s orders. That’s the message bible.
God’s ordering you and me. So when when you come to those places where you just wanna throw your hands up.
Remember, you have an awesome god that has a plan for you and wants you to make sure your children know and grandchildren know because this is generational.
Yeah. God bless you.
You know what, miss Lewis? There’s so many women, and I know men are are mothering too.
They’re they’re in that business also. Can you just pray for them? Seems like you’ve got that going right now.
Why don’t you just pray? Sometimes we have a little more faith than somebody else’s prayer that’s praying us and maybe even our own prayers.
Could you just minister to the people and pray for them right now?
Father, I thank you so much for this opportunity to just talk to moms and those that are helping with bringing children up.
But this is not about us. It’s about you and what you empowered us to do.
You’ve given us all we need to make it happen.
So when the challenging times come in our life and you said In this world, we will have tribulation, but you also said we’re overcomers because of the blood of the lamb, that when it’s challenging, help us to hold on to your unchanging hand and the power that got you out of the grave So I pray for mothers today that are just with their hands and their laps thinking, how can I do this?
How can I make it? I wanna remind you that he has called you, he has gifted you, he’s empowered you, and he’s released you to raise these children for his namesake and in his name.
So we pray for these ladies today that are looking, and and gentlemen and fathers and grandparents, and all of us who are taking care of the gifts you’ve given us that we’re we’ll look at it and realize it’s a gift from god, and he has given us everything we need to make it happen.
And we pray your power in Jesus name in all the lives that are listening today. Amen. Amen.
Amen. Beautiful.
That’s so good. You know, I love the the generational thing because it says you’ll teach your children and your children’s children.
Yes. The goodness and the faithfulness of god. Yeah. And what he’s done for us.
And that is that, you know, every seed is a deed.
And and there are so many grandparents, I think, nowadays raising their grandkids.
Yeah. So Yeah.
Day in and day out. Yeah.
And I wonder, is there anything you would have done differently, miss Lewis?
Yes. I was talking with one of my daughters, like, Crystal, was talking with my daughter last night.
And I said I would have been more vulnerable to you guys.
I would have told you what my needs were and what my weaknesses were.
I would have told you kids.
I think you might have sympathized more with me because I was telling her that Yeah.
You know, that you probably just sit your children down and tell them that you’re doing your best. Yeah.
It’s not perfect. Which you’re doing your best and tell them why. Yeah.
We don’t have we have lean funds right now. You we’re only making so much money.
We can’t do what your friends telling you you should be doing.
So I would say if I had to do it all over again, I would have been more vulnerable and more communicative.
That’s the word. Civic. Communicate communicative. Edit? Yes.
But my children, so they were, uh, could be a part of the journey of her family. Yeah.
But I was just making things happen, making things work.
You know, again, just following my mom and grandmother, like I mentioned, they had challenging times, but we never knew it.
Yeah. There was always a clean house and always a small meal, but a delicious meal.
So I never saw vulnerability in my mom or grandmother.
So I perpetuated that, but now I’m telling younger mothers because there’s so much more that we have to deal with now in raising children.
You need to sit your kids down. At a certain age, you decide, age sensitive, what you say, Right.
Let them know. You know, there’s only so much money we have.
Um, later on, maybe we’ll be able to take you to the movies and then go for a meal.
Mhmm. And include your children in the journey of your family.
Yeah. Yeah. How do you do that, Priscilla?
You know, I think every now and then I will tell the boys. You know? Yeah. I’m tired. Yeah.
I’m a girl.
I’m tired. I had a
really long day because you kinda think that your parents I thought my parents were super heroes. Exactly.
I was just getting ready to say that about mine too.
That’s right.
You kind of think they’re super here.
It’s not till you become an adult that you realize that they actually did have needs.
You know, there there were actually things that were concerning them.
Or I think about the weight sometimes as a woman in my forties now, how just my body’s changing.
I, excuse me, with hormones and weight.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I know. What I’m saying.
That’s
Something happens in the forties too. You know?
And, um, I think about that that when my mom was in that stage of life, um, how hard that would have been to still be full on with these 4 kids and growing a church with my dad and all of that.
She didn’t even know it. And nobody acknowledging Yeah.
She’s, like, for real tired, not just because she worked hard, but because even your body as a woman is changing.
Yeah.
And how That’s good. As daughters, maybe we would have been would have responded differently or would have been helpful differently because we’re aware that, oh, there actually, she’s human.
And she actually feels sad when the other woman at the church ignore her or don’t include her in something that actually hurts her.
Like, it’s not like she’s just like, no big deal. She it actually hurts her heart.
Yeah.
So then you start to look at the humanity of your parents.
So That’s good.
Just every now and then I’ll tell the boys I’m tired, so we’re actually gonna all make dinner. Oh.
We’re participating. And then after you guys set the table, you know, afterwards the dishes me and your dad are gonna actually go talk.
Yeah. Because we haven’t even seen each other all day while y’all clean the dishes. Good.
And I have to set myself up for the fact that The dishes are still gonna be done in your woods.
Watching that dish. Right? Put it in the right place.
Like, you
have to go ahead and let go of the perfectionism of of the way you’d like it to be. Yeah.
Um, and that’s actually harder in our family for my husband than it is for me just to let them just just let them at the kitchen.
You know, no matter what it’ll look like in the end, what it means though is that you and I will have 20 minutes to just sit outside on the patio and talk for a second.
Yeah. Well, that’s good. You’re actually teaching your boy kids the cook.
Yes. Because our brothers did not know how to cook.
And that was in that paradigm. Now the paradigm has shifted. Boys need to learn how to cook.
Yes. They do. I think so.
That’s good.
We had we we had to do a lot for my brothers. You did? Yes.
So my youngest brother now, he’s a husband and a father.
And we are amazed at what he does because we thought he could do nothing.
He was paralyzed.
But he’s the
best husband. He’s the best.
He was the baby.
But, no, he’s He’s a he’s
he’s turned out okay.
Yeah.
Yeah. We’re surprised. Yeah.
You know, back to the superhero thing, you know, I look at my own mom, and my grandmother lives eighty six years old.
I’ve got a beautiful, beautiful grandmother’s on both sides.
Um, but, truly, we didn’t know what they were going through. No.
And and my boys hear a lot compared to what I did. My mom never complained.
She was all I knew is I was not going to be a wife. Yeah.
I’d look at my mom and go, I don’t know what I’m I know I’m gonna be in ministry. Right.
But I’m for sure. I’m not gonna be a pastor’s wife. Yes.
You know, that’s not what I was gonna do because I admire you not only have your own family, but you have the family there at the church.
And that’s a huge role to play. Yeah.
And I admire you as more you for what you and your your husband have done in this this city.
I’m kinda curious about
you, though, because there’s a question you asked my mom, and I was thinking, I wonder how much Lori would answer that.
Yeah.
What would you have done differently with your 2 boys looking back?
I probably wouldn’t have been so hard on my first one. Yeah?
Only a little harder on my second one. No. I was pretty hard on my little one.
Just, um, he traveled, um, at the time with with my l, and they wish I wouldn’t have been so hard on him either.
Mom and dad cried but we were going to places that, you know, we were going to president’s offices around the world.
And
Yeah.
He had to be good, and he had to be quiet, and he had to, you know so I was pretty, pretty rough on him, but boy, he’s a good kid.
Aw. He’s so sweet. Let me think about that, and I’ll get back. Yeah.
Okay. What about discipline? That’s a huge, you know, We have swung in this beautiful United States of America on what discipline is.
My daddy and my mama believed in Spanking. Yes. Yeah. And and Oh. We yeah.
The Bible says, spare the rod. You spoil the child. Works down.
Now I know we have to be careful how we read the rod. But anyway, go ahead, Laura.
But, um, that was that that’s a big that’s a big deal now. You know?
My dad didn’t believe in a time out. Okay. Ever. It didn’t count to 3. I like that.
Yeah. You know?
Yeah. Yeah.
And, do you have anything to speak to that?
Well, I do think we’ve swung way too far in the in the wrong direction.
I I have had to restrain myself at times, being for example, in a grocery store and listening to a kid behind me talk to his mother any old kind of way.
And I mean I had to restrain my so from turning around and getting after this kid talking to his mother that way.
I couldn’t believe that she would just allow that. Yeah.
Um, so you’re We’ve gone the other direction where, again, we’re letting the kids kind of run the show Yeah.
And not have to learn respect and those sorts of things.
Yeah.
And self control. So we do discipline our kids.
Um, I I I’m not a fan of spanking, but I do agree.
I do agree with the principal that a controlled spanking is is sometimes just it is what it is, and that’s what a child needs to get themselves in order.
I think that, obviously, that can be taken to the further bar extreme too and can become abusive.
And then that’s that’s not in any way what the scripture is No. Suggesting.
But I also do think I had a friend years ago who wrote a book called Creative Correction.
And I do think that there are some creative ways that you can correct.
That instead of reverting to spanking first, to just take a minute to to make sure your boiling point has gone
down. Yeah.
Which I appreciate. So much now because I realized that’s what daddy was doing. Yeah. Yeah.
He would send us to our room.
Yeah. But
then it would take him, like, 25 minutes to come. Yeah.
And that’s just like It was excruciating, but it was it was so that he’d come down and settle and make sure that discipline, it’s not about getting your anger out.
It’s supposed to be about correcting your child and helping them to see um, you know, the a better way to navigate the situation.
But I also think that during that time, there could be some thought put into some creative ways to correct.
So, for example, Crystal did this. My older sister.
She was raising her first child who’s now married with a child of her own. Yeah.
When she was raising her, She kept, um, well, there were several things she did creatively, but one of them was she she was supposed to be taking things upstairs.
There’s a basket there. That anything that needed to go upstairs back to her room would be put in that basket, and it was her responsibility to get that upstairs.
She would just avoid it. She would avoid it.
So Crystal gave her the whole basket, which was now full, and she had to run ups run up the stairs to her room with the basket and put everything away.
Put everything back in the basket, run back downstairs, run back up the stairs with the basket, and she had to do that.
I don’t know. 10 or 15 times.
It was a big, like, huffing and puffing major thing, but she didn’t forget that basket anymore after she had to do that, um, when she wasn’t keeping her room clean.
My sister took the door off the hinges and took the door completely out.
And, um, when she still wasn’t cleaning her room well after no longer having privacy, She had to move out of her room, and she had to sleep downstairs in the living room.
She didn’t have the rights to her room anymore.
I am learning a lot today.
But you better believe started cleaning up her roof after that.
So I just wonder if there are some creative ways that are more specifically connected to the offense Right.
That maybe could be more memorable to our kid.
And I’m not suggesting that you you don’t spank, but I am saying Yeah.
Think about is there something else I could do that act she is gonna get them to learn this particular principle.
I love that. Yeah.
And the name of that book?
Yeah. It’s all creative correction. I think it might be a decade old now by Lisa Welch.
And she just talks about creative options of discipline for your children based
on Very
cool. Infractions. And maybe, you know, you might just find a way to motivate your kid towards something.
Yeah. What’s the Wow. What’s the role of a grandmother in Wow. Grandchildren’s lives.
You know, Laurie, I had to really learn what that was.
Because you’ve lived 18, 20, something years telling everybody what to do and hopefully them falling your directions.
And now You have to work through the fact that you can’t invade another family.
It might be a daughter, but she is married to someone And they probably have different rules and different things.
So I had to work through that because I was still in the mode of telling Mhmm.
And and why aren’t you not? You know? And so it’s a different rule.
It’s like supporting your children. Yeah. Kind of find out where the need is and support.
Like, they were calling to me they’re working on certain things in their children’s lives.
So when I’m around them, I try to seed in. Deposive about that. Yeah. Yes. Plant seed into that.
So it’s kind of a hands off, but you kinda wanna have your hands on. It’s it’s it’s Really?
Um, different. Different. But I feel like where I feel I’m having an impact, I hope.
It’s, um, encouraging whatever they need.
Yeah.
Making sure to hear from the grandmother and even Tony out, we would tell we would tell daddy you know, you might need to say a word here and a word there.
So that’s where we are as grandparents should have. That. And just loving them.
I love them to sit between me and and service. Yeah.
Because then I they’re on their iPads and iPhones, but I still put the Bible in front of there is a word here.
It’s just to because they don’t use the Bible per se, the kids. They use the iPads.
So I I love see the pages? I want to see the pages. Yeah.
And, like, Sunday that he was reading over version than what I had.
And so Joel looked at me and he said, it’s different. I said, it’s a different version.
So I was able to kinda Yeah. Talk through some things.
And so I love that their intro and I hope I’m answering your question. Absolutely.
It’s kinda hands off because you wanna respect the family. Right.
But I think it’s so important, though, to port. Yeah.
What they’re what they’re hearing at home, what they’re kinda dealing with at home Yeah. To have that support.
That’s amazing.
Yeah. And I think that’s, you know, My mom is also being very consistent in my dad about still having some traditions that are that are rooted in our history.
Yeah.
So now my parents have great grandchildren. Now I have 2 great grandchildren.
And, you know, every 4th July, every Christmas, you know, there are gonna be certainth every Easter we’re together, you know, every 1st Sunday of the month Yeah.
My entire family has dinner together. Yeah.
And that spurred on by grandparents who are saying, actually, we’re gonna come together and do certain things together.
And so my mom sort of still still the spearhead with that, and we’ve just recently had a conversation because, you know, it’s a it’s a lot of us now.
Yes. Yeah.
Just the children alone are like 18 grandkids.
Yeah.
And then then there’s all of us and our spouses.
And and so we’ve had even had a conversation about that recently about, well, you know, Christmas is a lot of cooking because we all want my mother cooking.
Wow.
They all have a special dish. She’s like 12 dishes. Yes.
What? And, um, and he probably heard her accent from Guyana, South America.
So we get the guy needs food that we kind of love on Christmas. So we’re all waiting for it.
I know. There are still some things we want my mom to cook, but she’s been very honest with us.
I still want this tradition. Yes. But we we can’t. We we all have to participate in this town. Way.
Yeah. Can we do it a different way or even in a different place or where there’s more room, or we just have to negotiate it, but it’s still rooted in the tradition that starts at the helm and sort of filters down.
So in that way, for our children, they do not know a Christmas outside of, yeah, we wake up.
We do something together with our little family, but then we’re going to Nonnie and Poppy’s house, and they can’t even imagine a Christmas that doesn’t involve naughty and poppy.
Yeah. It wouldn’t even know what to do with that. Yeah.
So the fact that we that they still have that is a treasure.
And and I’m thinking about the person who, you know, maybe their parents have passed on or their grandparents have passed on.
They don’t have that. Well, you start. Don’t don’t be discouraged. Yeah. Be be excited because that means it’s you.
You’re the one that gets to decide. Yeah.
Which do I want the tradition to be that I start with my kids?
That we can continue when my grandkids come.
Yes.
And just start that tradition.
That’s beautiful. And let me do it.
Be safe. Let me just be faithful to it. I’m sorry to interrupt you, but She’s used to that.
I I’ve had them off all the time because I am using the age thing.
If if I don’t speak right now, I forget. Right. But one thing you forgot tell him
how old you are, by the way.
No. I don’t wanna do that because today does not reflect my age. This is not my hair.
That was that was a lot of information.
Oh, too much information.
Never mind. Look to get my But
let me back up a little bit.
Even when we get together as a family, um, a part of the tradition of getting together is the children seeing their Bible versus?
Yes. And they my husband puts a cheer up in the room and the kids run-in competition with each other to say their verses.
Even the little ones, the little two year old, we let her sing. She sings a verse. Yeah.
Our point is we’re just kind of instilling in our grandchildren like the scripture says. Yeah. The word. Beautiful.
Yeah.
Beautiful. Priscilla, we’ve got a few more minutes in this beautiful show. I have loved this.
Every minute of this conversation. I love when you speak about the family.
I love the blessing that you pray over your boys.
For the last little while, why don’t you look into that camera and just minister to people and and encourage them till we go out.
Okay.
We may not
love to do that. I do wanna encourage you to not strive for perfection in your parenting. Just discontistency.
Just pick what it is that you want to do that you wanna be faithful about and consistent about with your children whether it’s baking bread.
You you know, you decide I wanna bake bread so my kids can remember the smell of bed bread baking.
You don’t have to be perfect at it. Just decide if that’s what you wanna just do it.
If it’s that you wanna have a meal around the table, pick the 2 nights a week.
This week, you can get it done and do it. It’s that you wanna have devotions, do it.
Just start, and you don’t have to be perfect, but your kids will remember whatever it is that you’re doing and faithfully.
And, uh, that’s what we had growing up. I will I will say that it wasn’t perfection.
It was consistent intentional parents. And I’m so grateful for that now. Your kids will be too.
If you’re on the other side of raising your children and you feel maybe a little discouraged because you’re looking back and you’re thinking, there’s so many things I would have done differently.
Well, welcome to the club. There are so many things that all of us as parents look back and would have done differently, but it’s okay because the Holy Spirit’s got you covered.
There’s grace and mercy that is sufficient for all of our weaknesses and our shortcomings and our frailty.
And I’m so great for that, for my own life, and I’m grateful for that for yours as well.
So I just wanna, um, tell you that one of the things that I do consistently with my boys is pretty much every single day as much as I can. I square them up, and I do, um, say so words over them.
It’s almost like a little prayer.
They are so annoyed that I say it to him, but I say it to him anyway.
And I encourage you to write something down for your kids, your daughter, or your son, and speak it over them.
I say to my sons that you are a man of integrity character, and honesty.
And you will love the lord your god with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
Today, you’ll be a blessing to your teachers, and you will be a blessing to friends.
You will put on the full armor of god so that you can stand firm against the schemes of the enemy.
You are the head. You are the tail. You are above. You are not beneath. You are a leader.
You are not a follower, and today is gonna be one of the best days of your entire life.
And I know that they get annoyed by it, but, you know, the fact that they can quote some of it back to me, what that says to me is getting into their system and that they’re gonna believe about them, whatever it is I say about them.
And so I wanna speak to you from god’s word, And I want you to believe what god god’s word says about you too.
And god’s word says that you have been e equipped by the spirit of god that every spiritual blessing that you need, Ephesians 1 says pertaining to not just godliness, but pertaining to your life every spiritual blessing you need, he has already given you.
You have been lavished upon with the grace the goodness of god, the equipping of god, to be the mother or the grandmother that he has called you to be.
You walk in victory, not in defeat. There is an enemy. Yes. But he is already underneath your feet.
He may form a weapon against you, but that weapon has no ability of prosper, and he already knows that before he even gets started.
You have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind.
And you will be a woman, a mother, a grandmother, a single mother who makes a mark on generations to come, and god’s blessing will flow, not just to you, but through you one generation to the next and the next.
And I’m praying the bless over you that I’ve gotten to see come to fruition in my own parents’ life.
I’m praying that you will not just see the blessing extent of your children, but that you’ll live long enough, your eyes will be open long enough to see your grandchildren and your great grandchildren.
One generation after the the other experiencing the blessing of god. Let me pray for you.
Lord, Jesus, I thank you for my sister and my brother who might be sitting on the other side of the screen.
I pray right now in Jesus’ name that if there’s any discouragement on them that you would lift it off of them, father, you would re re face it with encouragement, father.
You would infuse them with your courage to do what it is that you’ve called them to be to do.
To be who you’ve called them to be, I pray lord that you would blanket their life in a peace that passes all understanding.
Yes. Lord, I prayed for supernatural discernment.
For the mother who is trying to deal with a toddler lord, a teenager, lord, a young adult, for the grandmother that’s trying to figure out her place and at all, lord, I pray for supernatural discernment and wisdom.
Father, as they train up their children in the way that they should go, would you give them your eyes to see that child?
Even that problem child, lord, through your lens
Yes.
So that they can steward and guide in a way that will bring you utmost honor file And I pray in the meanwhile, lord, that you would help them to know that every deficiency they have has already been covered by your grace.
Um, your blood poured out on Calvary. It’s already finished. It’s done.
So, lord, not to look at their weaknesses, but to remember that in our weaknesses, your strength is made perfect.
Yes. And so we give our families to you. Yes. Our children to you, both now and forever Good.
In Jesus’ name. Amen. Amen. Oh, amen.