How To Position Your Heart For Love x Sarah Jakes Roberts & Touré Roberts
How To Position Your Heart For Love x Sarah Jakes Roberts & Touré Roberts
There are many factors that come into play before you can be “ready for love”, or at least, ready for a healthy, long-lasting love. Sarah Jakes Roberts and Pastor Touré Roberts chime in on having a healthy perspective about love, and even how to release what is not meant for you.
God is saying to you today:
“l am the ultimate provider. Rely on Me for your every need. I am your rock and stronghold in times of trouble. Trust in My faithfulness, for I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
“l am the ultimate provider. Rely on Me for your every need. I am your rock and stronghold in times of trouble. Trust in My faithfulness, for I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
I wrote this, this list down and it was after, you know, I believe I had a whole perspective about relationships, but I wrote this list down about who she should be.
And uh and Sarah ended up being exactly like literally everything on that list she became.
But I like what you say that really, it, it resonates because in order for me to be able to identify what my counterpart would be, I had to have understood in some way who I am.
And so what if the quote unquote delay or what of the, the frustration um in waiting on someone is really unfounded because I haven’t even really unpacked me.
And if I choose somebody now, I’ll choose somebody according to who I think I am and not who I’ve discovered.
I am. Are you tracking with me? And, and that’s, and that’s dangerous. That’s dangerous.
Because what if you make a decision, make AAA lifetime decision?
I believe that, that, that marriage should be when you, when you make that decision, it’s not a decision that you’re looking at over the next five years.
It’s a decision that, that prayerfully you’ll be able to walk in for the rest of your days, right?
But what if I, if I choose my future before I find myself and then it’ll put you in this, this, this very, very difficult and perplexing situation.
And one day you find yourself and you look up and you realize that your marriage or whatever was built on Brokenness and now you have this, this, this decision to make.
Do I sacrifice the real me for the sake of the marriage or do I have to weigh the marriage for the sake of the real me?
I I’m saying that not to uh to, to endorse breaking up and all that kind of stuff because people will sound, bite me and run with it.
But what I’m saying is I want you to understand how serious it is to find yourself first and to be passionate about it and, and to see the value in it so that you don’t make a mistake that will ultimately cost you years and pain and heartbreak.
Otherwise, I totally agree.
I was just thinking about how when you and I got together, how I really had to come to a place where I could even receive you.
And I think it was because I had already started to go through a process of evolving by myself.
So that when you question certain areas of my life or my potential like woman evolved would not be happening.
Had I not married him like he just saw so much in me that I didn’t see in myself.
And it made me curious about what he saw and it hit me that that’s how our relationship with God is.
And then I realized that marriage should be a reflection of our relationship with God.
And my greatest prayer for you as women, as you know, single women who may be in a relationship or searching for a relationship or hoping for a relationship or women who are in relationships.
And you’re wondering what I should be looking for.
My greatest prayer is that you would connect with someone who sees you the way that God sees you and that it would make you so curious that it makes you dig within yourself even further.
And I believe that as you do that you end up flourishing and evolving in a way that you never thought possible.
Yeah, I did see you girl. What did you see?
I saw a lot. I still, I see, I see more. I see more. Yes.
What, what um So listen, tell me like we’re in love and we can like do this forever.
Um But we wanna make certain that we really minister to the questions that are in that room, this room, particularly since many of you have read the book.
Many of you have watched the videos and, and, and you, you followed some of our relationship things online.
But I like to, if you don’t mind really just switch gears and and just hear what’s on your heart and see how we might minister to that y’all line up because I’m a big girl and I don’t wanna have to walk too far so come up here to this line here and that’s gonna help me out.
Don’t be scared y’all it’s wisdom on this stage here and y’all be in the lobby stopping them to ask for questions but don’t nobody just y’all good.
Alright. Hello?
I just wanna say I’m happy to be in the presence of so much godliness and the representation that y’all put forth as a couple and individually is amazing.
Thank you. Thank you for having me.
So as women who don’t get an opportunity to get supported the way you’re doing here, I came a long way.
I’m one of those that came by myself. So I did it and I’m here.
So I’m gonna ask my question. So I spend a lot of time trying to improve myself.
What do I do while I’m waiting? I come the women involved. That’s what I do.
What I wanna know is you spend so much time working on yourself, you know, you have the right one but he’s not ready.
He’s not ready, you know, in your heart, you’ve been praying, you say, OK, I’m gonna back up, I’m gonna wait but that’s not right to do either.
Wait on some person in particular.
So if you know, and you’ve prayed on it as much as you can.
You can’t get that situation off your mind.
What do you do if you’ve spent so much time working on yourself?
But that particular person is just not ready yet.
I would like to pray with you that we can release him back into God’s hands and from your heart.
Can I tell you this is, we mess up because we think that our heart’s not in it when it is because you know that he’s not ready, but you’re not sure what to do.
Which says to me, even though I know he’s not ready. My heart is in this a little bit.
And so what the prayer really needs to be is God, can you give me my heart back?
Because I know he’s not ready to handle it.
And yet, in spite of all of the walls, I thought I’d built, he’s got a piece of me.
And so I need my heart back so that I can move forward and be unconcerned with what his progress is or his status is or how he feeling.
I didn’t text him good morning. I wonder how he’s doing. Yeah. Yeah, I understand. I know.
I know we gotta stop. We got from him and then be free from him.
I’m, I’m gonna, I’m gonna chime in. I, this is, this is brilliant baby.
I’m gonna chime in and say, um if it’s gonna change, it’s not gonna change while it’s the same uh let me say that better.
That’s the whole word. Yes, pasta.
Um, it, you, you, you can’t desire change and same at the same time.
And, and so sometimes, you know, because you have, there’s some conviction that you have in your spirit that he might be the one.
I don’t know what that conviction is.
I mean, I got a list of things that should be check marks before you have a conviction like that.
So II I can’t qualify your conviction but you do, you have some conviction? I think he’s the one.
He’s just not ready or it’s just not the time.
If you keep things the way that they are, he has no incentive or motivation to change, right?
You have to, you have to create an environment if he is indeed the one.
First of all, if he is indeed the one, you can’t lose him if he is indeed the one.
But, but you do have to create an environment for God to shape Him.
And as long as He has the comfort of you without change, he will never change.
And so to pastor’s point, you gotta get your heart right?
And get your heart back and ask God to give you your heart and he will because He wants you to love Him with all of your heart, mind, soul.
And so, so he will, that’s a prayer that He will answer and then, and, and release him and don’t release him with the expectation of his return.
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t do that because that’s not a full release.
That’s a partial release. That’s, you just, you, you, you probably want me to stop talking, huh?
Yeah, that’s the, that, that’s a, that’s a partial release.
You gotta really, really release him and, and, and if it’s God, he’ll show up again the right way.
One of the things Sarah told me before I got married that really helped me was if he never changes from who he is right now, do you still wanna spend the rest of your life with him?
And I had to really think about that thing because a lot of times we marry with the expectation of change and I never considered what if he doesn’t.
Thank God. Well, what it is we marry, we marry a person’s potential, not a person’s reality.
And then we get frustrated when the reality shows that because I’m here for your potential.
But what you should have married was his reality.
So that could determine whether or not you would even want to move forward. I married your reality child.
Listen.
And uh and Sarah ended up being exactly like literally everything on that list she became.
But I like what you say that really, it, it resonates because in order for me to be able to identify what my counterpart would be, I had to have understood in some way who I am.
And so what if the quote unquote delay or what of the, the frustration um in waiting on someone is really unfounded because I haven’t even really unpacked me.
And if I choose somebody now, I’ll choose somebody according to who I think I am and not who I’ve discovered.
I am. Are you tracking with me? And, and that’s, and that’s dangerous. That’s dangerous.
Because what if you make a decision, make AAA lifetime decision?
I believe that, that, that marriage should be when you, when you make that decision, it’s not a decision that you’re looking at over the next five years.
It’s a decision that, that prayerfully you’ll be able to walk in for the rest of your days, right?
But what if I, if I choose my future before I find myself and then it’ll put you in this, this, this very, very difficult and perplexing situation.
And one day you find yourself and you look up and you realize that your marriage or whatever was built on Brokenness and now you have this, this, this decision to make.
Do I sacrifice the real me for the sake of the marriage or do I have to weigh the marriage for the sake of the real me?
I I’m saying that not to uh to, to endorse breaking up and all that kind of stuff because people will sound, bite me and run with it.
But what I’m saying is I want you to understand how serious it is to find yourself first and to be passionate about it and, and to see the value in it so that you don’t make a mistake that will ultimately cost you years and pain and heartbreak.
Otherwise, I totally agree.
I was just thinking about how when you and I got together, how I really had to come to a place where I could even receive you.
And I think it was because I had already started to go through a process of evolving by myself.
So that when you question certain areas of my life or my potential like woman evolved would not be happening.
Had I not married him like he just saw so much in me that I didn’t see in myself.
And it made me curious about what he saw and it hit me that that’s how our relationship with God is.
And then I realized that marriage should be a reflection of our relationship with God.
And my greatest prayer for you as women, as you know, single women who may be in a relationship or searching for a relationship or hoping for a relationship or women who are in relationships.
And you’re wondering what I should be looking for.
My greatest prayer is that you would connect with someone who sees you the way that God sees you and that it would make you so curious that it makes you dig within yourself even further.
And I believe that as you do that you end up flourishing and evolving in a way that you never thought possible.
Yeah, I did see you girl. What did you see?
I saw a lot. I still, I see, I see more. I see more. Yes.
What, what um So listen, tell me like we’re in love and we can like do this forever.
Um But we wanna make certain that we really minister to the questions that are in that room, this room, particularly since many of you have read the book.
Many of you have watched the videos and, and, and you, you followed some of our relationship things online.
But I like to, if you don’t mind really just switch gears and and just hear what’s on your heart and see how we might minister to that y’all line up because I’m a big girl and I don’t wanna have to walk too far so come up here to this line here and that’s gonna help me out.
Don’t be scared y’all it’s wisdom on this stage here and y’all be in the lobby stopping them to ask for questions but don’t nobody just y’all good.
Alright. Hello?
I just wanna say I’m happy to be in the presence of so much godliness and the representation that y’all put forth as a couple and individually is amazing.
Thank you. Thank you for having me.
So as women who don’t get an opportunity to get supported the way you’re doing here, I came a long way.
I’m one of those that came by myself. So I did it and I’m here.
So I’m gonna ask my question. So I spend a lot of time trying to improve myself.
What do I do while I’m waiting? I come the women involved. That’s what I do.
What I wanna know is you spend so much time working on yourself, you know, you have the right one but he’s not ready.
He’s not ready, you know, in your heart, you’ve been praying, you say, OK, I’m gonna back up, I’m gonna wait but that’s not right to do either.
Wait on some person in particular.
So if you know, and you’ve prayed on it as much as you can.
You can’t get that situation off your mind.
What do you do if you’ve spent so much time working on yourself?
But that particular person is just not ready yet.
I would like to pray with you that we can release him back into God’s hands and from your heart.
Can I tell you this is, we mess up because we think that our heart’s not in it when it is because you know that he’s not ready, but you’re not sure what to do.
Which says to me, even though I know he’s not ready. My heart is in this a little bit.
And so what the prayer really needs to be is God, can you give me my heart back?
Because I know he’s not ready to handle it.
And yet, in spite of all of the walls, I thought I’d built, he’s got a piece of me.
And so I need my heart back so that I can move forward and be unconcerned with what his progress is or his status is or how he feeling.
I didn’t text him good morning. I wonder how he’s doing. Yeah. Yeah, I understand. I know.
I know we gotta stop. We got from him and then be free from him.
I’m, I’m gonna, I’m gonna chime in. I, this is, this is brilliant baby.
I’m gonna chime in and say, um if it’s gonna change, it’s not gonna change while it’s the same uh let me say that better.
That’s the whole word. Yes, pasta.
Um, it, you, you, you can’t desire change and same at the same time.
And, and so sometimes, you know, because you have, there’s some conviction that you have in your spirit that he might be the one.
I don’t know what that conviction is.
I mean, I got a list of things that should be check marks before you have a conviction like that.
So II I can’t qualify your conviction but you do, you have some conviction? I think he’s the one.
He’s just not ready or it’s just not the time.
If you keep things the way that they are, he has no incentive or motivation to change, right?
You have to, you have to create an environment if he is indeed the one.
First of all, if he is indeed the one, you can’t lose him if he is indeed the one.
But, but you do have to create an environment for God to shape Him.
And as long as He has the comfort of you without change, he will never change.
And so to pastor’s point, you gotta get your heart right?
And get your heart back and ask God to give you your heart and he will because He wants you to love Him with all of your heart, mind, soul.
And so, so he will, that’s a prayer that He will answer and then, and, and release him and don’t release him with the expectation of his return.
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t do that because that’s not a full release.
That’s a partial release. That’s, you just, you, you, you probably want me to stop talking, huh?
Yeah, that’s the, that, that’s a, that’s a partial release.
You gotta really, really release him and, and, and if it’s God, he’ll show up again the right way.
One of the things Sarah told me before I got married that really helped me was if he never changes from who he is right now, do you still wanna spend the rest of your life with him?
And I had to really think about that thing because a lot of times we marry with the expectation of change and I never considered what if he doesn’t.
Thank God. Well, what it is we marry, we marry a person’s potential, not a person’s reality.
And then we get frustrated when the reality shows that because I’m here for your potential.
But what you should have married was his reality.
So that could determine whether or not you would even want to move forward. I married your reality child.
Listen.
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