marriage is a covenant not a contract if you think of marriage as a contract you’re going to be looking for loopholes ways to break that contract but marriage is a covenant between a man a woman and God and it brings with it awesome responsibilities I don’t have what it takes I don’t have what it takes but neither do you but I’m telling you this when I give my heart to Jesus Christ and surrender to him the holy spirit of God comes into me and gives me the spirit of Jesus so I can love like Jesus profound

truth simply stated This is Love Worth Finding with Pastor teacher and author Adrien Rogers would you take God’s word and find Ephesians uh chapter 5 please and uh just a moment we’re going to look at verse 2 23 and then we’re going to look at some more verses but I want to talk to you about Kingdom Authority and the home and literally headship in the home now some of us are disappointed in our homes somebody has said that the difference between courtship and marriage is the difference between the pictures in the Seed Catalog and what

comes up perhaps we need to learn a little bit more about how to cultivate a marriage look if you will please in verse 23 for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he Christ is the savior of the body and the husband is to be like that to the home now we’ve been teaching you a principle these last weeks that God wants to give us Kingdom Authority that God did not make us to be slaves to the World the Flesh and the devil but there is a great principle that God does not give authority to

those with a rebellious Spirit and the principle is we can never be over those things that God wants to be under us until we get under those things that has put over us and we need to understand that that is the basic key principle in Kingdom Authority may I tell you what the problem is in America today the problem is in the family and may I sharpen the focus the problem is primarily with a husband steu Weber said the problem in America is failure in the highest Office of the land and that office being husband and

father that’s the problem in America we want to point fingers somewhere else but the problem is that we have not understood responsibilities and Kingdom Authority in the home we need to see as Fathers as husbands as dads our responsibilities not our rights when the Bible speaks of the husband being the of the home that’s not speaking of his rights it’s speaking of his responsibilities marriage is a covenant not a contract if you think of marriage as a contract you’re going to be looking for loopholes ways to break that

contract but marriage is a covenant between a man a woman and God and it brings with it awesome responsibilities there are three major responsibilities that deal with headship in the home and I want to say to the husband that if you do not exercise the kingdom Authority that God has given to you your home is not going to be a wonderful home your marriage will not be a magnificent marriage I want to say to Our Ladies If you do not understand your proper place God’s assigned responsibility in the home you’re going

to miss an incredible blessing now let me tell you what those three major responsibilities are that the husband has as we’re talking about Kingdom Authority and headship in the home the first responsibility that the husband has is this he is responsible for Servant leadership now I’ve chosen to put those words together servant leadership those those words are not exclusive they go together when the Bible says that the husband is the head of the home it does not say he is the dictator it says that he is the

head that does not mean therefore that he’s a top Sergeant using the Bible as a club rather than a sword to beat his wife over the head with it he is the one who is responsible who is the head of the church Jesus Jesus Christ true and the husband is to be the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church well I want you to think about Jesus who is the head of the church that is he is The Sovereign lord of the church he is your lord I want to ask you a question has Jesus Christ ever ever forced you to do

anything not one time not one time not one time and yet Jesus is the head of the church and he is the Lord of my life and if I know my heart I would die for Jesus Christ and yet he is not he is not the dictator of the church he is the head of the church and this is what a husband needs to be now you see headship means to have responsibility and so if you as a husband say I am the head of the home then your wife who’s to be submissive to you listen has every every right to look to you to meet her every need that she has as a wife in the

home doesn’t mean she’s to count out to you it means you’re responsible to meet her needs just as the Lord Jesus Christ is responsible to meet the needs of the church we hear so much of the chain of command it’s not primarily a chain of command it is a line of responsibility to be the head of a corporation as we have some here today means that you are responsible for that Corporation now here’s a key verse a key verse put it in your margin 1 Corinthians 11 and verse3 now listen to it but I would have you to know that

the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God now if you put that that verse right down along Ephesians 5:23 you’ll have it all figured out all right now listen to what God says here’s what headship means here he speaks of God the father and God the son do you know anything about Christian theology if you do you know that God the Father God the son and God the Holy Spirit are co-equal and co-eternal is that not right Jesus Philippians 2 said he thought it not robbery to be equal with

God just as husbands and wives are equal God the father and God the son are equal but the Bible says that the head of Christ is God does that mean the boss does that mean the dictator there’s no need for dictatorship among equals where is the Lord Jesus Christ he is at the right hand of the father on the throne and so it is in the home if you’re enjoying this message from Adrienne Rogers and would like to dig a little deeper into today’s topic we’d love to send you this free companion Bible study

use the link above to request yours here’s the second thing he’s responsible for the first thing serving leadership got it serving leadership okay here’s the second thing sacrificial love I didn’t say just love I said sacrificial love I didn’t say just leadership I said serving leadership what is sacrificial love well how are you to love your wives look if you will in verse 25 husbands love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it that’s not mere love that’s

sacrificial love how am I to love Joyce I am to love Joyce as Jesus loved the church and he died for the church what kind of love is sacrificial love well number one it is passionate love it is passionate love when I’m talking about passion I’m not talking here about sexual passion that’s a part of married love but I’m talking about something far deeper than that I’m talking about emotion and commitment that comes from the deepest part of your being you are to love sacrificially that is uh there’s nothing

nothing too precious for me to give up for my wife except my relationship with God nothing I’m the pastor of this church but I wouldn’t have to think about it if I had to give up this church or give up Joy you can get another Pastor I am her husband she is my highest love on this Earth apart from the Lord Jesus Jesus gave himself up for the church what does a man owe his wife passionate love but not only passionate love purifying love look if you will now in verses 26 and following why did he do it that he might sanctify and cleanse it

with the washing of Water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish Jesus loves the church with a passionate love and with a purifying love and how as a man to love his wife what responsibility does he have well as Christ is Pastor priest and Prophet to the church the husband is to be Prophet priest and Pastor to his wife he is to intercede for her he is to teach her he’s to lead her he is to protect her

spiritually he is the one who is to have leadership in the home he has responsibility he is to love her passionately he is to love her purifying my assignment from God is to make Joy so more radiantly beautiful Christian just as Jesus is purifying the church I’ll tell you another way he’s to love her sacrificial love is protecting love look if you will in verse 28 so ought men to love their wives as their own body what do you do with your body you protect it a man is sick who does not care for his own body and a home is sick

when a husband does not protect his wife Peter tells us in 1 Peter chapter 3 vers seven that the wife is the weaker vessel doesn’t mean she’s inferior gold is weaker than steel it’s not inferior silk is weaker than blue denim it’s not inferior it’s it’s more refined it’s more fragile it’s more intrinsically beautiful God Made You To Be A Man of Steel he made her to be an ornament of gold but he made her as the weaker vessel and you need to protect the wife not only physically and I’ve told you before I’m

not the man I used to be and I might not be able to do it but if you touch my wife if I can I’ll put you on the ground so quick you won’t know what happened because God has given me an instinct to protect her but not only to prot protect her physically my responsibility is to protect her emotionally and to protect her spiritually did you know that mister that Satan can’t get at your family unless he has to come through you CU you’re the head you’re the doorkeeper God made you to keep the garden that means to protect it

you can’t rob a man a strong man’s house except you’re first buying the strong man and Satan wants to get at your wife and your children but if he can go through you he can get at them easily but if you stand at your place where God has put you then you’re the protector you say but wait a minute I don’t have what it takes I’m glad you recognize that that’s all the more reason that you as you assume your responsibility must understand that you have to be under the one who is going to

assume his responsibility to take care of of you see you can’t be over until you are under now here’s a here’s a fourth thing sacrificial Love Is providing love look if you will in verse 29 of this same chapter for no man ever yet hated his own flesh but he nourishes it that means he feeds it and cherishes it that means to warm with body heat that is he wants to provide her needs her emotional physical spiritual needs it’s provided love now when you’re hungry you want to eat when you’re cold you want something

over you you’re to love your wife as you love your own body because she is a part of you if you were wise you would be good to yourself by taking care of your wife and the married man who does not meet his wife’s needs is committing spiritual and matrimonial suici side you are to provide for her emotional needs and how do you do that you need to constantly praise her constantly admire her do you know why we have so many women in the workforce today some need to work and my head is off to them my heart is out to

them my prayers are on them but you know why many are in the workforce rather than taking care of their babies at home somebody is saying I appreciate you I mean just when they get that paycheck it says well I am worth something sir it is your duty your joy your responsibility to give to her that thank you that emotional paycheck that says sweetheart thank you I appreciate what you do and it needs to be more than physical traits now don’t forget you need to be wise about these physical traits I mean you need to say many nice

things as you can heard about a guy he said a wife came out and said husband does this dress make me look fat he said no it’s your hips that make you look fat don’t be that way be smarter than that but I want to tell you something you need to find those traits that ornament of a can a quiet spirit that God says makes her radiantly beautiful and praise her for that sweetheart thank you for your patience thank you for your prayer life thank you for the way you love our children thank you for the way that you

provide for us and make our home beautiful thank her for things over which she can control and and encourage her meet her emotional needs meet her spiritual needs that’s what God has put you there now sometimes it’s hard to find out uh when when uh she talking because women are emotional creatures I mean you have to listen to figure out what they’re saying she transmits emotionally and you receive logically and you’re in trouble don’t figure out what she’s saying figure out what she means that

makes you a detective your job is to translate have you men who are listening to me for just a few a few moments now just listen to what I’m saying I’m going to help you to understand a woman 200% better 200 time Z is still zero don’t try and figure them out love them love them your love is to be providing love now here’s the last and the final thing what does responsibility mean what does headship mean what does the bible mean when it says in Ephesians 5:23 that the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ

is the head of the church it means serving leadership it means sacrificial love and it means steadfast loyalty steadfast loyalty look if you will in verses 30 and 33 for we are members of his body of of his flesh of his bones he’s talking about the church in Christ and you see that’s the reason that woman was made from Adam’s side because he’s teaching us that she is a member of our body just as the church is taken out of the Wounded side of Christ woman was taken out of the Wounded side of man and so the Bible says for this

cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh this is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband for this cause a man will leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife Stead fast loyalty now if you’re the head of your wife as Christ as the head of the church let me ask you a question are you ready for

it when is Jesus going to walk out on the church when is Jesus ever going to walk out on the church he will not amen what has he said he has said I will never leave you nor forsake you today we have men who stand at the marriage Altar and make a holy vow a covenant not a contract a covenant and and then they walk out God have mercy on them you say well I owe it to myself to be happy you owe it to God to keep your promise you owe it to your wife who

can’t be your wife you owe it to your children you say will it be better for the children why don’t you ask the children about that why don’t you ask the children about that you say well I have prayed about it and God told me it was all right you’re a liar God does not transgress his word don’t walk out on your wife lover as Christ love the church the husband is the the head of the wife servant leadership sacrificial love steadfast loyalty and when we begin to live that way and men get under the authority over

them they can have the authority that God has put under them and wise can submit to a man who is willing to die for her and shows it by the way he lives for her and homes will be what God wants them to be one more time now folks this entire chapter Ephesians chapter 5 listen these chapters come in the context that tells us to be filled with the spirit the only way that you can be that kind of a husband the only way that I can be that kind of a husband is to be filled with the spirit I don’t have what it takes I

don’t have what it takes but neither do you but I’m telling you this when I give my heart to Jesus Christ and surrender to him the holy spirit of God the holy spirit of God comes into me and gives me the spirit of Jesus so I can love like Jesus is that the way it is and so to begin with you’ve got to give your heart to Jesus so you can give your home to Jesus that not right that’s right and he wants to come into your heart right now so I want you to Bow your heads heads are bowed and eyes are closed and if you say well Pastor I need

somebody to pray for me I’m not saved I’m going to pray for you right now right now father I pray that you will help these today who do not yet know you in reality that today will be the day that they will say an everlasting Yes to Jesus Christ open their hearts that they might receive the Gospel the good news and friend if you want Jesus as your lord and savior and master and friend and brother and guide and helper if you want to go to heaven when you die and you want heaven in your heart right now let me help you to pray this prayer

would you pray like this dear God I’m a sinner and my sin deserves judgment but I need Mercy I want to be saved Jesus Jesus you died to save me and you promised to save me if I would trust you I do trust you tell him that that right now I do trust you right now this moment with all of my heart Come Into My Heart Lord Jesus come in forgive my sin Save Me Lord Jesus and begin now to make me the person you want me to be and help me never to be ashamed of you because you died for me amen [Music] [Music]