Before I Do: The Biblical Blueprint for Love and Marriage – Part 1

Welcome back, everyone! We’re excited to kick off a brand new series. It’s unbelievable how much has changed since our last series—back then, I was about seven or eight months pregnant, and now my daughter, who you might hear in the background, is seven months old! It’s a full-circle moment, and I feel incredibly blessed to be here sharing this with you.

Last year, I had a powerful encounter, and the Lord led me to create this series on marriage. As you’ve likely seen, it’s called Before I Do: The Biblical Blueprint for Love and Marriage. I believe this series will be a blessing for many who desire marriage, helping them understand what marriage truly means from a Biblical perspective. Even for those already married, there is so much valuable insight in store for you. So, let’s dive into this journey together!

This series will consist of seven parts, and I’m thrilled to see what God will do through it. In this first part, we will answer the question: What is marriage? I want to focus on the Biblical teachings in this section, as that’s what will truly empower you. While everyone may have different views and life experiences, the Word of God is our ultimate guide.

To begin, let’s first explore what marriage is not, to better understand what it truly is.

1. Marriage is Not an Event

The first thing I want to clarify is that marriage is not an event. When most people think about marriage, the first thing that comes to mind is their wedding day. But marriage itself is not the wedding. You can have a beautiful, extravagant wedding and still have a failed marriage. The wedding is an event, but marriage is a journey.

Here’s why this is important: if you make your marriage about the wedding, you risk creating unrealistic expectations. Imagine meeting the person you plan to marry, and they are not financially prepared to fulfill the wedding of your dreams. This can open the door for resentment and bitterness, which the enemy can use to sow division. The focus should not be on the wedding, but on the commitment and covenant you’re entering into.

So, go at your own pace. Don’t let the desire for a perfect wedding overshadow the deeper meaning of marriage. Marriage isn’t about the venue, the dress, or the guest list. It’s about a lifelong commitment to love and grow together.

2. Marriage is Not a Contract

Another misconception is that marriage is simply a legal contract. Yes, in modern society, marriage is legally recognized by the state, and a marriage certificate has legal weight. But let me clarify: while I’m not opposed to having a marriage certificate—I have one myself, and it comes with certain benefits—marriage should never be viewed solely as a contract.

Some people are hesitant about marriage because they see it as a legal contract, and they fear the consequences of divorce. In places like California, divorce can be financially costly, which adds to the fear. However, this fear should not prevent you from entering marriage.

Marriage is not a contract. A contract is a conditional agreement, typically entered into with a sense of doubt—“I’ll stay in this as long as it benefits me.” But marriage, as defined in the Bible, is a covenant. It’s an unconditional commitment between two people, not a conditional arrangement based on personal gain.

The state can be involved, and you might have legal paperwork, but that should never be the focal point. Don’t let the idea of marriage as a legal contract hinder you. The true essence of marriage goes far beyond the legalities—it’s a deep, spiritual commitment to one another.

Stay tuned for the next part of this series, where we’ll dive deeper into what marriage truly is, according to God’s Word.