male announcer: In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. Next on “In Touch,” “Peace With Ourselves.” Dr. Charles Stanley: Our Heavenly Father desires that all of us have peace. In fact, He desires that we have a three-fold peace: peace with Him, which is the result of having the gift of eternal life and knowing it; peace with others, which is the capacity to have a harmonious relationship with other people; and then peace within ourselves, with ourselves, which is a quietness and a serenity of our

soul that is the result of learning to accept ourselves the way we are, realizing that God has something very special for each and every one of us. God desires that we have peace with ourselves. Now, it’s very evident that you and I could have peace with God without having peace with ourselves. We could have peace with others without having peace with ourselves.

Peace with ourselves means that somehow there is a deep sense of serenity and quietness within us, that we have learned to live in a harmonious relationship with ourself. And that is the part of peace that oftentimes alludes people, and that’s the section of peace that I want us to deal with in this message.

And I want you to turn, if you will, to the thirty-fourth Psalm. And the title of this message is simply that, and that is “Peace with Ourselves.” I just want to read one single verse out of this passage, and it is a two-fold admonition to us in Psalm thirty-four and verse fourteen. And here’s what the Psalmist says, “Depart from evil and do good;” and then listen, “seek peace and pursue it.

” That is, go after it. That is, find it. He says pursue it. That is, don’t give up until you discover it. It is the will of God that we have peace within ourselves, with others, and with Himself. And so, let’s think about this whole issue of learning to live with peace with ourselves. And a lot of people don’t even realize what’s going on in their life and they’re at war with themselves and can’t–don’t realize they’re having a war on the inside, and sometimes look around to see what is the real cause of their

failure to enjoy peace. So, when you think about it–I think about it in this light. It’s really like walking around with a civil war on the inside. You see, if you don’t have peace with yourself, you’re not gonna be able to enjoy to the fullest peace with the Father or peace with your friends, peace with other people.

And here’s what happens, that oftentimes people don’t like themselves. They don’t like the way they look. They feel unlovable, unwanted, uncared for. They feel inadequate and insecure and oftentimes make jokes about themselves, oftentimes find something about themselves to criticize. They just don’t like themselves and they certainly do not love themselves.

If you don’t like yourself, you don’t love yourself, and you’re walking around always feeling rejected and unwanted and unloved and unfit and uncared for, rejected in areas of life, then you’re not gonna have peace no matter what you may think about being saved. And your friends may think you’re a fantastic person, but if you do not have peace with yourself, you’ll never be able to enjoy the other two.

And so, when I think about people who feel that way, what happens is they’re always battling on the inside. Sometimes it can get so bad that a person has a very difficult time accepting any kind of compliment because the little something inside of them says, “You don’t deserve that, therefore they don’t mean it.

” And oftentimes you and I can compliment someone, genuinely mean it out of the sincerity of our heart, and you know what it does? It causes us great delight to be able to compliment them. You know what it does to them? Causes them pain, because they walk away saying, “You don’t mean it. He couldn’t possibly mean it because I don’t deserve it and I’m not worthy of it and I’m not anybody worth really wanting to be a friend with anyway.

” And so therefore they– “I wish they wouldn’t say things like that.” And you see, they’re walking around with a civil war going on the inside. They’re struggling with something on the inside. Now, they’ll look at God and blame God sometimes. And sometimes they’ll try to blame others, but you know what happens oftentimes? That people realize they can’t blame God for what they are doing and what they are feeling.

They look around and they think how other people treat them, they can’t blame them. All of a sudden, they have to look on the inside and it’s very frightening. It’s frightening to look on the inside of yourself and discover that something’s not right. And especially when you can’t put your finger on what it is.

“I know something’s not right. I want it to be right. It’s not the people around me, it’s not God, something on the inside of me.” So, what I want us to do in this message is this: I want us to look at those things that are absolutely essential for us to believe and to experience in order to have peace with ourselves.

Because you don’t–if you don’t have peace with yourself, you’re not going to enjoy peace with God, peace with others because we have to live with ourselves. And so, I want to encourage you to get out a pencil and piece of paper. Give you time for a second or so to do that, and begin. And the first three of these would be the ones that would be the most evident.

But as we move along, we’ll see some that are not so evident. Now, remember what we’re talking about. We’re talking about those essentials in your belief system, in your actions, that will make it possible for you to live at peace with yourself: a sense of tranquility, a sense of calmness, a sense of quietness, a sense of harmonious relationship with yourself.

That will make the difference in whether–how much you enjoy God, how much you enjoy others. And it begins with this very first requirement. And that is that you and I receive the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal Savior. Now, you say, “Well, what does that have to do with my inner peace?” Here’s what it has to do with it.

This settles once and for all where you’re gonna spend eternity. And you know that if you die, you’re going to one of two places. There are no other alternatives. Somebody says, “Well, when I die, that’s gonna be the end of me.” No, it’s not. There’s not a single verse in the Bible says there’s gonna be an end of you.

And so the Bible says you’re either going to Heaven or you’re going to torment. And you know that the Bible teaches that. If you don’t know it, I could give you lots of scriptures to show you, but for the moment take my word. He says, “Absent from the body, present with the Lord,” for those of us who are believers.

But those who are not, it’s torment. And so, that is a separation from God. Now, if you know that and you do know that one of these days you’re going to die, “It’s appointed unto man once to die, and after this the judgment,” you cannot possibly have peace with yourself knowing that you could get on the expressway, turn the corner, have an accident, die instantly.

Or you could get sick and a long period of time and die. You know that ultimately, we’re just gonna go to sleep and our heart stop beating and we’re gonna die. Well, at some point, it’s gonna happen. Now, how can you live with peace on the inside knowing it’s going to happen and you’re not ready? Well, you say, “One of these days I’m gonna get ready.

” But in your mind, you’ve already thought about it. “My, my, my, but suppose it happens so quickly I don’t have time to get ready?” Let’s face it, you cannot have peace with yourself when you do not know where you’re gonna spend eternity, or you believe and think the possibility is that you could be separated from God forever and ever and ever.

And as He says, listen, “Living in outer darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.” There is no way you can possibly live with peace knowing that is a possibility. Now, a second thing that is very essential is this, and that is that you believe and accept the truth that God is absolutely sovereign.

Now, why is that essential? Because if we accept the truth that God is absolutely sovereign, listen, that protects us from the continuing fear of safety. Suppose this happens in my life, suppose that happens. He says in that hundred and third Psalm, the nineteenth verse, that He has established His throne in the heavens and His sovereignty rules over all.

That is, God is in absolute control of all things. If I can accept the fact that He is in absolute control of my life and every aspect of it, I don’t have to be fearful. And when you think about how fearful people are. For example, they’re afraid to get on an airplane and fly most anywhere. They’re afraid to open their mail.

They are afraid that they’re going to get some kind of disease or some kind of biological warfare is gonna hit them. They are concerned about the fact and worried about there may be another terrorist attack. Now listen, you cannot live with fear in your heart and peace in your heart at the same time. You have to make a choice.

And it is a choice we make. Am I gonna believe that God is absolutely sovereign? And if He is, that means He’s in control. If He is in control of your life, you’re not gonna die until God gets ready. God is our protector. You see, you can’t live in peace with yourself if you wake up during the morning or during the night afraid of what may happen and what could happen to you.

If you’re gonna live with peace with yourself, you must have settled where you’re gonna spend eternity. And secondly, you must have settled the issue that God Almighty is in absolute control of your life and only what He permits can happen, and whatever He allows, He’s gonna turn it for your good, no matter what.

There’s a third essential, and that’s this, and that is the whole idea that oftentimes people have to deal with. And that is simply this. This principle is so clearly written throughout God’s Word. That is, that God is going to meet every need that you have. He says, “My God shall supply all of our needs according to His riches in glory.

” That those of us who walk uprightly shall not want any good thing, not a single thing. He’s going to provide every single need. And so, in these days when many people are losing their jobs, and their whole idea is, “If I lose my job, I won’t have any money. Then I’ll be in need.

” No, only what God allows. And so, He says that He will supply all of our needs. Our Heavenly Father does not want you waking up in the morning or any day, or going to bed at night, or rolling and tossing and tumbling all night long, worried and concerned about what may happen or that your needs are not gonna be met.

God doesn’t want us living that kind of life. So those three are very basic, essential things. But there’s a fourth thing when we think in terms of living with peace within ourselves. And the fourth one is this, and that is, to maintain a clear conscience. Maintain a clear conscience. In the twenty-fourth chapter of Acts, listen to what the Apostle Paul said.

Twenty-fourth chapter and the sixteenth verse, he makes it very clear about his own interest and his own concern in this area. Here’s what he says. He says, “Having a hope in God, which these men cherish themselves, that there shall be certainly a resurrection of both the righteous and the wicked.

” Then verse, listen, he says in verse sixteen, “In view of this, I also do my best to maintain always a blameless conscience both before God and before men.” Now, let’s think about this. Why is a blameless–why is a clean conscience so important and so essential to peace? Because God placed a conscience within us as a warning signal.

That is, when we are heading in the wrong direction in our life to do something wrong or to say something wrong, oftentimes we know in our heart, all of a sudden, we get this warning. Or, having already done it, having already said it, our–we say our conscience bothers us. Now, what is it that’s bothering us? What’s bothering us is guilt.

So to keep a clear conscience means that protects us from the very weighty harassment and, listen, the continuous shoutings of our conscience. Somebody says, “Well, my conscience doesn’t shout.” Well, let’s put it this way. Your conscience is as loud, listen, the volume of your conscience will be determined by the degree of your guilt.

The more guilty you feel, the louder your conscience is going to be. And there are some people who are walking around with a raging conscience. They know that they’re living in sin. They know that they’re living disobedience to God. They’re rebelling against God. They want it their way. Somebody says, “Well, but you can kill your conscience.

And He’s not going to allow you as a believer to reach the stage where your conscience absolutely says nothing any longer. Listen, you may muffle it. You may make it very quiet, but it’s still there. Because you see, God doesn’t want you living with a dirty conscience. Because He knows you cannot have peace, you cannot have joy in your heart, you cannot have tranquility and quietness in your soul as long as your conscience is not clean.

And the only way to get it clean is to confess sin and repent of it, turn away from it, and surrender yourself to God. And so, what you have to ask is this. Somebody says, “Well, I believe that you can disobey God and still have peace.” Well, why don’t you have it? You don’t have it. You can’t have it. God’s not gonna let you have it.

“Well, why doesn’t God let me have it?” He loves you too much to allow you to sin against Him, violate His principles, rebel against His will, disobey Him, and get along as if nothing ever happened. And this is why people try to muffle it. They try to muffle it with drugs. They try to muffle it with pleasure.

They think if they get more of this and more of that and more of the other, finally they get enough and have enough friends, enough pleasure and prominence and prestige and power and all the rest, that conscience won’t make any difference. Sorry, that’s not the way it is. Another very important element at this point is this, and that is to be able to, listen, we must be able to accept ourselves the way God made us.

Now, what does that do? Now, watch this. To accept yourself the way God made you helps, listen, protects you from trying to change those things over which you have absolutely no control. There are many things in life over which you and I have no control. So, if I’m gonna have peace in my heart, I must be willing to accept myself.

You don’t like the way you look? “I don’t like my facial features. I don’t like the way I look.” Well, did God make a mistake? No. Did He make you the way you are for a certain reason? Yes. Now, you say, “Well, am I to stay this way all of my life?” It depends on what you’re talking about.

Because you see, I think all of us are responsible for improving the things we can improve. But there are some things we can’t improve. In other words, I cannot be seven feet tall. I mean, there’s no way. God didn’t make me that way. And you see, sometimes when a person doesn’t like it, say, “Well, I’m too short.

I’m too tall. I’m too this.” I mean, notice I didn’t say fat. “I’m too this. I’m too that. I don’t like this and I wish I were this and I wish I’d a been born over yonder. I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish,” and what you’re saying is, “God, You made a pile of mistakes.

God, You made some mistakes.” And what happens is you end up not liking yourself. Now, if you don’t like yourself, you can’t be at peace with yourself because in the morning, you get up and you look where? In the mirror. What is your first response? Y-a-a-a-h! That what you think? Or do you say, “Not bad.

” Or do you say, “My, my, my, I’m looking better today.” You know what you could do? You could say, “I’m looking better every day.” You may–you say, “But suppose I’m not.” Get busy and work on it. That’s what I would say. You don’t like the way you look? Work on it.

Now, there are some things you can’t change. But there are some things we can change. What is God expecting you and me to change? Anything that you and I can change, He wants us, listen, He wants us to be our best at whatever we do. That won’t mean–that doesn’t mean that you’ll be the best there is, but the best you can be.

Look your best, do your best, try your best, give it your best. Don’t be accused of being slothful and lazy. Don’t be accused of just not caring about how you look and what you do with your life, because you’re somebody special in the eyes of God. Your fingerprints are only one like that. Listen, your soul is the only one like that.

Your spirit is the only one like that. God made you somebody special. No two people in the world. There may be twins, but they’re not exactly alike. Only one person like you. Nobody, just you. Just you. You’re a definite, individually created personality whom God loves and cherishes and desires so much that He gave His Son to die on the cross to save us from our sins.

You’re somebody special in God’s eyes. And then I would just mention one other, and there are lots of things we could say about that, and that is you must, listen, you must be Christ-centered and not self-centered, Christ-centered and not self-centered. Christ at the heart of your life. Jesus says, “I am your life.

” He said, “I am your life.” Living on the inside of every single one of us is the person of Jesus Christ. Now, let’s look at this whole idea of being self-centered. Now, this hits you too hard, don’t blame me, amen? Pretty soft, but that’s okay. Now, watch this. A self-centered person is a manipulator.

A self-centered person is very insensitive. A self-centered person has the idea, consciously or unconsciously, the whole world revolves around them. I’mma tell you why. This is the way they think. “My needs, my wishes, my desires, my house, my car, my dress, my looks, my pleasure, my vacation, my salary, my security, my, my, my.

” Their three favorite friends: me, myself, and I. That’s the way they think because they, listen, because not only do they think the world revolves around them, but they are insensitive. You know, naturally they’d be insensitive, why? You can’t think about yourself, be wrapped up in yourself in the wrong fashion, and at the same time be sensitive to other people’s needs.

So they’re always manipulating circumstances. When a friend is a very self-centered person, it’s difficult to be a friend to a self-centered person. You can’t get in. Because they have it all blocked out. They want to be sure they get their needs met. They want to be sure you agree with them. They want to be sure you go where they go, you do what they do.

You want what they want. Self-centeredness is very destructive and you, listen, you can no longer be peaceful and have peace in your heart being self-centered than you can being incompetent, no purpose and full of rejection. Christ-centered life is a life that says this: Jesus is the most important thing in my life and the most important person.

It’s what He wants is what I want. What pleases Him is what I want. And you know what happens? He’s going to give you a peace that’s beyond your comprehension. You’ll never be able to figure it out. If you’re going to live with peace in your heart, you must lay down this selfish, listen, selfish, carnal, fleshly, natural self-centeredness because, listen, you will only be able to have relationships that are either fakey or very limited.

A self-centered person, you can’t get on the inside. You never know where you are because they’re always looking out for the big I. And if you fit their pattern and fit their schedule and fit their plan, that’s fine. But if you don’t, don’t count on it. There’s no loyalty in a person who’s self-centered.

There’s–you know what? A self-centered person can’t love you. They don’t have the capacity. Why? Because all of their fragmented feelings of affection are so messed up on the inside, they can’t put it together to love you. Listen, not that they don’t, they can’t. And if you’re self-centered, you can’t love someone.

You say, “Oh yes, I do.” No, you can’t. You can have some affection for ’em. It’s limited. It’s limited by whether it profits you or not, whether it makes you feel good or not. If trying to love them doesn’t make you feel good–in other words, if it doesn’t satisfy you in some fashion, you’re not gonna do it.

That’s what self-centeredness is all about. You cannot live in peace and be self-centered. You cannot. That’s something you need to confess and repent of and ask God, “Lord, I want Jesus to be first in my life. I want what pleases You and what honors You. I’m sick and tired of me. Me, myself, and I, wanting my way all the time, not having genuine, true friends, not being able to love or–and not being able to feel that somebody really loves me.

It just may be that the reason you don’t feel anybody loves you is because they can’t. You’re shutting them out. Harmonious relationships with other people are gonna be greatly affected by your capacity to live in peace with yourselves. And so my prayer for you is simply this: that you will be willing to stop and ask yourself the question: Do I really have peace on the inside? Now, we’re not talking about God or a friend, we’re talking about peace on the inside.

Am I at peace with myself? Can I lie down at night and look up in the night and say, “Thank You, Lord Jesus.” And see, nobody else have to–nobody, listen, nobody else can. And nobody else has to tell you when you can lie down at night, close your eyes or leave them open and just say, “I just want to thank You for the wonderful peace that’s prevailing in my heart.

” That harmonious, uninterrupted sense of flow of something inside of you that Paul said you will never be able to explain it. He said, “Peace that passes all human understanding,” all human understanding. If you don’t have that, you can. You say, “But,” and you start giving me a whole bunch of excuses.

None of that works. You know why? Because the peace that our Lord desires that you and I have within ourselves is not determined by outward circumstances. Now, watch this. Because that would mean–you say, “Well, I’ve lost my marriage partner.” Either died, divorced, separated. “Therefore, I can’t have any peace.

” Well, does that mean that every time God takes a loved one away, that He says to that person, “Now you are condemned for the rest of your life. You’ll never be able to experience peace ’cause I took ’em away”? No. There is no experience in life in which a loving Father will not give us an awesome sense of peace within ourselves if we choose to deal with these issues of our life, whether it’s one of them or all of them, that we have discussed.

It’s my prayer that you would be willing to look at yourself and make whatever decision you know is wise to deal with that area, or those areas of your life. Now, if you’ve never trusted Christ as your Savior, that’s number one. And I want to encourage you to ask Him to forgive you of your sins and tell Him that you’ve messed it up.

You tried to do it. It hasn’t worked, and you want to start with step number one in discovering your peace with Him. And then be willing to look at yourself and say, “God, I want to deal with this. Lord, I want to deal with that. Lord, Lord, I want–I’m gonna deal with this.” And you know what, He’ll show you exactly what to do and how to handle it.

And then here’s–I’m tell you what’s gonna happen. Then you’re gonna wake up and look in the mirror and you’re gonna think, “Hmm, something’s different. Same old beard,” or “same old face, but something’s different.” You know what’s different? When the inside changes, you cannot keep it hidden.

You can’t keep it hidden. Why? Because that’s the real you coming out. And you’ve discovered peace, and you can’t hide it. ♪♪♪