Take The Mask Off: A Conversation About Mental Health

Now more than ever, we need to talk about faith and mental health! During this insightful exchange, we get into the challenges, resources and support we need to make sure our faith community is healthy and whole. Tune in for a powerful conversation with Bishop Jakes, as he talks with faith leaders and mental health pros while unveiling a groundbreaking resource designed for faith leaders by faith leaders!

The Huntsman Mental Health Institute, The Ad Council, and Values Partnerships have joined together to support the mental health of the faith community. FOR faith leaders, BY faith leaders.

Sometimes we feel an obligation as people of faith to say, I’m blessed. How are you doing?
I’m blessed in the lord. Thank god.
And you, and we have these colloquialisms that don’t really allow, uh, help to come in, but tonight, we’re taking off the mask.
The definition of a hypocrite in the Bible was not somebody who contradicted their values as much as someone who hid behind a mask.
It was reminiscent of actors who acted in skitzed days, but sent their lines from behind the mask.
And I wanna encourage those of you that are listening tonight to take off the mask.
Good evening, friends, and welcome
to let’s talk. Faith in mental health.
I can’t tell you how glad we are that you are here. My name is Joshua Dubois.
I’m the CEO of values partnerships, and I’m so honored to be one of your hosts for the evening.
Let me tell you what we’re here to do tonight.
And then in just a moment, we’re gonna hear from of TD Jakes.
Listen, here’s what this is all about.
Before we turn our attention to that basted, roasted, or for some of y’all, deep fried turkey that is right around the corner.
Before we hang stockings and ornaments or light a menorah or play Mariah Carey’s Christmas album for the first time this season.
Some of you are already there.
I’m catching up to you, but before we move into that mode and fully get into this holiday season, we want to pause and talk about something that is not talked about nearly enough in our communities, our churches, our country, and that is mental health.
And there’s a specific focus here tonight. Mental health for people of faith and leaders of faith.
Our pastors, our clergy, our lay leaders, folks who are keeping our churches together, because as we’ll talk about tonight, just because you have faith doesn’t mean that life for you is always easy.
And we wanna talk about how we can better equip those who are caring for others with ways to care for yourself because you matter.
And I can’t think of any better partner to do that with tonight than the folks who have assembled us here.
We are thrilled to partner with the TD Jakes Foundation and chairman TD Jakes, the Huntsman Mental Health Institute, and the Ad Council to bring you this inspiring evening.
This collaboration is a part of a a bigger effort called Love Your Mind.
It’s aimed at normalizing mental health conversations, educating people on signs and symptoms and providing you with the resources you need free resources to get and stay mentally strong.
We’re gonna get into all of that in just a moment.
But first, let’s set the tone with some words of grace and power.
I’m pleased to introduce Reverend Enid Almond czar from the National Latino Evinjunkle Coalition to open us up in prayer.
Reven Enid over to you.
Thanks, Tasha. Let us pray. Omighty god, we call out to you this evening as the mighty, magnificent, and magnanimous god that you are.
We invite you into this space as we convene around the issue of mental health.
And today, god, with your power and authority we declare that our people will no longer be victimized by this silent thief in the night.
Tonight, we let out a battle cry in your name, oh lord, as we take a collective stand.
We say no more to seeing our people plagued by depression and anxiety.
We say no more to suicidal ideations and PTSD.
Today, god, we issue an eviction notice to the mental health illnesses in our teeth, and we declare that the reign of terror is over.
Empowered by your holy spirit today, we rally together and take a stand as a faith community, but to be victorious, oh lord.
We need wisdom like you gave Solomon.
We need courage like you gave Esther and power, like you gave David, to overcome this giant before us.
Saturate this time, oh lord, with your presence, as we declare health and healing in our communities in the name of Jesus.
And Jesus.
Thank you, oh god, for the many partners represented here.
Thank you, lord, for the new resources being deployed this night, and thank you in advance heavenly father.
For the many testimonies of changed lives that will be realized as we believe together.
For healthy and whole communities.
And we pray this together in the name of our lord and savior Jesus the Christ. Ahmen.
Back to you Joshua.
Ah, man. And a man, come on eviction notice. You got me shouting over here, reverend Enid.
Thank you so much. For that powerful, powerful word.
Now friends, you all know our host this evening for his remarkable, even historic sermons, for his best selling books, for his entrepreneurship, his foundation, his community development but he gets some credit, but not nearly enough credit for another aspect of his ministry and that is his heart.
Every single time our country has faced a crisis, and I’ve had the opportunity to to be a witness to this on a number of occasions over the years, um, from natural disasters to manmade tragedies to public health calamities and more um, Bishop TD Jakes doesn’t just stay in the pool pit and talk about it.
He puts his words and actions together to create change in our communities and doesn’t seek credit for it.
Probably doesn’t even want me talking about it right now.
But I have seen him mobilize his platform, his team, his wisdom, and his resources over and over again to meet human needs.
And when we reached out to him about mental health and faith, he did not hesitate.
He said, how can I help?
And then he helped us refine our focus, um, in sort of a light bulb moment where we realized that some of the people who are suffering most when it comes to their mental health and well-being, our pastors and leaders in our churches themselves.
And so it is my distinct honor to introduce Bishop T. D. Jakes, chairman of the T. D.
Jakes Foundation, who are hosts for this evening. Bishop welcome.
And, um, I would love to know from you why was it important to be such a central part of this work on faith leaders in mental health?
I think that, uh, over the 46, 47 years, and I have been in ministry and done my leadership conference for the last 20 years.
I have had a front row seat, uh, at various aspects of not only laity in the church, but clergy in the church, uh, who are still laity.
They’re still human and, subject to frailties to grapple with the complexities of mental health, which we all have mental health, but wrestle against those who are struggling with various degrees of mental illness, whether it be minute or mighty.
And so Uh, I’m also the chairman of the TDJakes Foundation, and, uh, we took this assignment very seriously.
But as a bishop and pastor of the potter’s house, uh, for years, we have set up a counseling department uh, that was uniquely designed to to to really further the healing process of people who are wounded beyond just accepting Christ and telling them to go pray.
And I think in order to do that, I had to develop a certain degree of humility, not to assume that everything, uh, is fixed in a congregation by sermon to back away from our theological, compilation, uh, explosions, uh, exegetical, uh, ability to move away from our exegesis for a moment.
And recognize that some people’s problems are complicated and complex. And while spirituality central and important.
The Bible itself talks about the importance of having a sound mind.
And, uh, with that understanding, there was a certain degree of humility that was necessary to to admit that even pastoral counseling has certain limitations and to stay within the guardrails of what I was able to do while not limiting my congregation to my guardrails, but exposing them to professionals who could take the next step.
To diagnose whether this person is just, uh, depressed or or chronically depressed or bipolar or just going through, uh, a moment of grief that they’re having difficulty getting over or or whether they need, uh, medication or just counseling or therapy.
Went beyond the purview of of my theology and my understanding and my ability to do that just like I wouldn’t do open heart surgery.
Uh, just like I wouldn’t treat them for hypertension, I had to recognize that the brain is a part of the body.
And, uh, we don’t treat any other part of our body, uh, the way we do our brains.
Sometimes we, disallow it. We we decapitate it from the rest of the body, and we think that it is a separate but as a part of the overall body, its health, its well-being, its functionality, its diagnosis, goes beyond that which we can espouse from the pulpit alone.
And so I’m happy to be here tonight and to join forces with you both to acknowledge that we as clergy go through crisis.
We as a nation goes through crisis. We as people go through crisis.
And while the the sermons and the songs and the praise and the worship, uh, medicates but it doesn’t eradicate, uh, every type of problem that exists in our congregation.
So we want you to open up we wanna create a safe space for you to have an honest, uh, uh, conversation to benefit from the experts that have been coalesced together tonight, uh, to help you to receive the help that you need to understand that it does not grace god for you to need help in other areas.
You sometimes we feel an obligation as people of faith to say I’m blessed. How are you doing?
I’m blessed in the lord. Thank god.
And you, and we have these colloquialisms that don’t really allow help to come in.
But tonight, we’re taking off the mask.
The definition of a hypocrite in the Bible was not somebody who contradicted their values as much as someone who hid behind a mask.
It was reminiscent of actors who acted in skips and plays, but said their lines from behind the mask.
And I wanna encourage those of you that are listening tonight to take off the mask.
To create a safe space and to understand that the space that is created for you, not only tonight, but going forward in a monumental and historical opportunity today really marks a significant milestone with the launch of the faith in mental health hub And what’s really, really exciting about it is that it provides, uh, an initiative that is born out of a collaboration not just one entity, but several entities from the Huntsman Mental Health Institute, the Ad Council and values partnership represents a shared vision, a vision where no one in our faith communities has to struggle in silence and feel isolated due to mental health challenges.
And I’m excited to be a part of it tonight.
I welcome you to step into it to take benefit of the resources that are gonna be shared with you, uh, as we go forward And as we enter into the holiday season, for for for many people, uh, is it isn’t so married.
For to have a holiday season. Uh, the it’s not always a happy holidays.
Sometimes you’ve lost a loved one. Sometimes a marriage has disintegrated.
Sometimes, uh, a loved one has disappeared from the seat and left you in turmoil, sometimes the the conversion of in laws and families coming together doesn’t always work out like it does on television, so it’s okay.
It’s okay to not be okay.
It’s okay, uh, to have some issues tonight that we wanna create a safe space for you to come and enter in and begin this discussion.
The next, uh, hour should be, um, healing, restorative, informative, and should be a GPS system that guides you into other resources that you can use, uh, to be open to be vulnerable and not be judged or feel like you have let your faith down because of your feelings.
Your faith goes in one corner. Your feelings go in another.
And it is possible to bring alignment between these two ideas.
And I’m excited and glad that you’re here tonight. Tell everybody you can reach text everybody.
You can reach out to those people who have been blowing your phone up for the last 6 weeks said I need I need to talk to somebody.
I’m not feeling good text people who are quiet and not saying anything, but they don’t sleep well.
They don’t, uh, they they’ve lost their appetite. They snap at people.
They have, uh, they’re not themselves and tell them to log on tonight and and just join in the conversation.
You don’t even have to tell them what it’s about.
Just tell them there’s some I want you to hear tonight that will change your life.
Joshua, I am so proud and so honored.
Both this is chairman of the TD Jakes Foundation and the senior pastor of the potter’s house to join this coalition and this endeavor with all of these uh, profound and prolific experts that you brought together tonight to help heal our world.
Thank you so much, Bishop. Hallelujah. Thank you.
Um, it is time to take off the mass friends, and this is gonna be a mass taking off kind of evening.
There was so much there. And I know you all are picking it up.
I’m seeing the chat light up with thousands of comments and just to pick out a few and keep keep them coming in.
Sister Monica Elliott reminds us that even Jesus had to take a moment to hide himself away and pray.
Doctor Terrence Hayes said clergy go through, um, crisis and, um, and then there’s folks who are sharing models.
Carla Cook said we have a mental health 3 at Bethlehem, Judah Christian Fellowship, um, and so folks that are already taking this on in their local church keep engaging with us.
Press that share button. Send that text and let’s have a family conversation, um, this evening.
Thank you, Bishop.
Welcome brothers and sisters to the faith and mental health of A dedicated space for faith leaders just like you.
Through this learning hub, you will gain access to an array of resource is including expert led courses, informative videos, and engaging activities that aim to deepen your understanding of mental health an emotional well-being.
Help you strengthen your own mental health and impact your community of the good.
According to search completed by the Ad Council, about 50% of the population cite having a mental health condition, and less than half are engaged in getting helped, speaking to directly to faith leaders, we realize that pastors, youth pastors, deacons, priests, and lay leaders are often first point of contact for individuals seeking help.
And we wanted to provide them with the resources and tools they need first to support their own mental health to better support their congregants and communities.
How are you today? And what do we say? Too blessed to be stressed. All right, um, blessed highly favored.
However, while people may feel blessed, they could indeed feel very stressed.
God reminds us that whenever you can’t take a rest from, you are ultimately a slave to.
You can’t pour into other people’s cup if yours is empty.
What if god cares more about who you are becoming than what you are accomplishing?
Mental health professionals are healers that god uses to help restore our minds to wholeness.
Together, let us break the stigma around the well and create a space for our congregations to thrive both spiritually and emotionally.
This learning hub is brought to you the ad council, Huntsman Mental Health Institute, and values partnerships.
Awesome.
Awesome. Listen. Take a moment to register. Uh, share it with others. We’ll be talking about throughout the night.
It’s a rich resource that you can take advantage of at your own pace, and it is completely free.
Wanna shout out a couple of the comments that are are coming in.
Um, we have folks, uh, Mary Rhodes, and she’s currently taking a class as a mental health coach praise guide.
For you, Mary, we have folks who are signing up. Uh, BB Jackson asked, is this a free resource?
Yes, BB. It is a 100. Percent free, um, and others are just lighting up the chat.
So we’ll continue to engage you throughout the evening. But first, y’all, let let’s get into the conversation.
It’s my honor to welcome back chairman, Jake, and introduce you to some of the faces you saw in that video we just played.
The pastors and leaders and experts who poured into this hub and are helping people every single day take charge of their mental health and well-being.
Please join me in welcoming. Tanya Miles, um, faith leader herself, and an advisor to the Huntsman Mental Health Foundation Board, Doctor Al Johan Tart Christian psychologist and minister.
Um, he he had a powerful word to say in the video that you just saw doctor Regina Miranda professor in the department of psychology at Hunter College at the City University of New York.
Uh, pastor Aaron Graham founder and lead pastor of the District Church Doctor Coraline Hunt, human industrial and trauma psychologists, and the Reverend doctor Dante Quicke, the senior pastor of the 1st Baptist Church of Lincoln Gardens.
I know you had a couple questions for the panel, but then we’re gonna turn it around and and bring you into the conversation as well, but I’ll toss it over to you for a couple
Uh, thank you very much, Joshua.
I thought that it might be prudent for us to level the playing field in terms of finding mental health.
And, uh, I’m gonna call on our experts to really discuss with us a What do you mean by mental health?
Not assuming that everyone who’s watching us has a clear definition and understanding of of what mental health is.
And once we do that, I I have another follow-up question.
So when we think about mental health, we think about being happy in our life. And with our life. Alright?
So from a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you right now?
Like, from from 1 to 10, how happy are you?
And so what we’re looking at is emotional, psychological, and social well-being.
And so this affects how we behave uh, how we think, how we feel, and act, and relate.
But it also is about how we handle how we handle stress and relate to others.
You know, uh, in the Bible, it talks about being anxious about nothing, but how it talks about having a sound mind, but how, talks about how to make relationships work.
But how mental health is like having wise counsel.
It says in the Bible, proverbs 1522, We we we all we all need wise counsel.
Plans fail with lack of counsel, but with many advisers, day 6 seed and mental health counselors, especially believers. Alright?
That’s the how. This is how you get the wise counsel so that you can feel better and deal with stress and what’s going on in this world with the tools you need to feel better.
Thank you for that. You know, uh, in the multitude of councils, there is safety.
And I think it’s very, very important that we’ve got a multitude of councils surrounding us today.
And so this is a safe place for us to have a conversation.
How do you juxtapose, uh, mental health and faith and get them to correlate together.
Because I think so many times, uh, believers feel obligated to have those, sains and colloquialisms.
We wanna cover for god. We wanna make him look good. We wanna, you know, I’m blessed in holy faith.
We’ve been taught to have positive confessions.
Uh, but you can have a positive confession, uh, and and be a public success and be a private failure and go home and be in tears.
Let’s help, uh, put the level to how we understand faith versus how we understand mental health.
Understanding mental health and faith promotes what we call whole person care.
It’s intersection allows us to administer hope grace, compassion, empathy, and mercy, not just to ourselves, but to others.
Being a part of a faith community can offer social support, accountability, and a sense of belonging We’re all able to be a part of that community.
However, as you were moved to, So many times, we say, just pray about it. You’ll get better.
We say things like, oh, don’t talk about it. You know, and and maybe it it it will disappear.
Deal. I I’ll just deal with it. I’ll hold it in, and it’ll pass.
But we have to understand that that we are a five dimensional being.
I’d like to see it in that way because Our dimensions are thinking is our mental dimension.
Feeling is our emotional dimension.
Connecting is our social dimension, helping is our psychological dimension, and faith is our spiritual dimension.
And if we cater to 1 or or 2 or 3 and not the others, we’re doing it in justice.
God expects us to live abundantly.
And in order to live abundantly, we have to acknowledge each component that makes us who we are and honor it and honor the experience of ourselves and others.
Thank you.
That’s good. That is so good. Thank you so much.
Uh, Mister Hunt, we we do need to to make sure that we are bringing all of those, um, components together.
Um, and and folks are just lighting up the chat with different questions and comments.
Um, Gail Smith Richard said that in their church, they ask the seniors every week.
How are you feeling on a scale of 1 to 10.
So it sounds like folks are getting started with some of those practices.
I wanna ask a couple questions, building on Bishop’s questions and and building him into the conversation as well.
And these are things that we are hearing from pastors and leaders around the country.
Here’s one that we’ve heard time and time again And that is that this is a particularly acute season when it comes to mental health for pastors.
We have a lot of folks that have come out of a pandemic where they lost members of their congregations and are preaching funerals over and over again.
Um, there are some churches that are facing financial pressures and challenges related to church growth.
There are always church politics and feeling like you have to please everybody to just be straight or what should pastors and leaders do when they feel overwhelmed?
When they feel like they don’t have enough for everybody else and for themselves.
Uh, chairman, Jake, maybe we’ll start with you, but then we can go to some other school.
What what what should we do when we feel overwhelmed?
I think, uh, when you consider pastors and leaders, uh, and I also wanna throw into the mix caregivers and parents and people who are taking care of people who are physically ill, emotionally ill, so forth and so on.
And and we kinda put on our Superman suit and our cape, and we run out there, and we perform, perform, perform, until performance becomes a drug to hide the fact that our presence is wilting.
And that we are diminishing and to be able to find a safe space to, uh, have a professional confidant through which you can be open and not be judged, especially when you are somebody’s hero or everybody’s hero or somebody’s caretaker that there’s with that weight comes, uh, heaviest ahead that we’re a crown.
And so you find yourself in a situation where you can’t be vulnerable. You’re the strong one in the family.
You’re the fixer in the marriage.
You’re you’re the one who always gets everybody together, and and you can’t dare let anybody know that you’re depressed.
That you’re weary or that you’re wilting or falling down. Having someone that you can talk to professionally is important.
Having someone that you can talk to as a personal confidant and friend who does not hold you hostage to a title, a position, a sickness, a illness, or a title where you that exempts you from being a person when we start talking about health care, uh, self care, this is a part of self care where it’s not always a a massage and a manicure and a pedicure, self care might be, uh, laughing with someone, talking with someone confiding in someone whatever you do, what you don’t want to do, you do what I was taught to do, and my generation was taught to do, uh, what goes on in this house stays in this house, suck it up, take it like a man, real men, don’t cry, and all those other things that have been said to us generationally where we have created a culture of silence and, uh, and and you are no more healthier than your than your secrets.
And so when you are silent about your frustration, secretive, about your pain, secretive, self medicating yourself, and you don’t have anybody in which you can be transparent.
The more people who rely on you, often that many more people judge you, so finding a safe space where you have a few confidantes, a few friends, a few, uh, professionals with which depending on the complexity of the problem to evaluate where you are.
A lot of people are just lonely, especially in this season, and having a having a crowd of people around you doesn’t mean that you’re not lonely.
It just means that you’re not alone.
The worst kind of loneliness is to be surrounded by people with whom you cannot speak.
That’s great, Bishop. Thank you.
Um, and doctor Miranda and doctor quick, my team is telling me that your hands are up early.
And I’m sorry. I didn’t see it in in our window here.
And so would, uh, would love to go to you, um, as as well either on this one or some of the other topics of some of the basic kind of foundational knowledge.
And so doctor Miranda over to you and then doctor quick.
I wanted to mention that, um, oftentimes when we think about mental health, we assume that it has to do with feelings mainly positive emotions and getting to a place where we’re just feeling happy.
And we are, are, are, born and built with the ability to experience a full range of emotions.
When we look at the god of the Bible, there are the full range of emotions that, that we can see represented there.
And so it’s not just about feeling happy, but it’s about navigating through our emotions and learning to navigate through some of our more positive emotions, like joy and happiness and our negative emotions like anxiety fear, um, sadness.
And, um, some of us are tend to experience more of one than the other.
And so, um, it’s part of it is for us learning to navigate, but also as communities and communities of space.
Helping people navigate. And, um, you know, as Galatians note bearing each other’s burden so that people who are uh, burdened with more negative emotions for longer periods of time so that they’re not carrying those alone and that they, they have support But, um, with respect to pastors, often we think about, okay, what is the that that a pastor can do to um, to improve their mental health or to, or to cope with the stressors that pastors have.
And part of the reason we that question is because the structures that we have in our churches is that we have a figurehead, the pastor as the main figurehead who bears the responsibility of caring for the congregation.
And so I, I wonder if a useful question to ask in addition might be, what can churches do to lighten that load and so that it’s spread out, um, more, more, uh, evenly.
And so it’s not just the pastor that’s the figurehead that everyone looks to to be perfect and to not be flawed, but really that this, this is a shared responsibility among congregant.
So mental health is something that can be supported by things that we do, but also that our communities do, um, to help support us as well.
That’s so good, Doctor Miranda. Thank you.
And lots of agreement in the chat that it’s not just about being happy.
It’s about Allowing yourself to experience a full range of emotions, as Theresa Darden said, in navigating through that full range in a way that’s healthy, but it doesn’t mean you have to just be happy all the time.
Doctor Quicke, I want to go over to you.
Well, I think we have to deal with, um, both the social and theological malpractice this that goes on in our churches.
Um, we’ve executed the Bible so often that we make the Bible mean something that the Holy Spirit did not intended to mean.
Throughout the scripture, we see people in emotional crises.
And we see patterns, Elijah, the prophet, is in an emotional crisis.
And my belief is that every crisis is pregnant with creative possibilities.
And so we have to begin to think of ourselves, not just as men and women of god, but if creatures needing the aid of each other.
So for me, uh, god aids me through a good therapist.
I think about Jesus in the garden, um, and Jesus in that garden going through it.
And all of a sudden, angels come to support him.
For me, the therapist is an angel that god sends to support me. God works through medication.
God works through psychological care.
And so we have to correct some misreadings of the Bible that are culturally oriented and start to recognize that god is always trying to be present in who god sends to be present.
And that vulnerability is strength. Yeah.
And because we’re afraid to be vulnerable, it goes to the suggestion that was just made.
We won’t empower staff and lay leaders because someone may take something from us.
Um, at 1st Baptist, not only do we look out for my mental health, but every Friday, the staff has access to yoga.
And and we call ourselves a trauma informed ministry.
As people of color, being black and brown in America brings a tax. Mhmm.
An emotional and spiritual tax.
We
are fearful for our children walking out of the door.
We need the presence of god and the holy spirit in the psychological care and maintenance of each other.
That’s good. That’s good, Doctor Quik. Thank you.
I wanna get into, um, and sister Toms, I’d love for you to speak to this and others who may be interested as well, pastor Aaron.
How do you start the conversation?
How do you if if your church, your ministry, your usher board, your choir, has just never gone here before.
What’s the way in? Is it personal stories? Is it education? What what’s the way in?
Um, uh, Tundra, would you mind, um, um, and speaking into that one, or, um, would love your thoughts on that and others as well.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I’m already about that life living in day.
And so being a person with the lived experience of being diagnosed with having anxiety and depression and being a pastor, look, you know, when I got diagnosed, I My husband, I actually started 1 of the 1st licensed faith based treatment centers in the state of Louisiana and the 1st Wisconsin in the country, and Mister Jake’s had a part to doing that historic another day.
And so the thing about it is is that me being authentic, me being a real me telling Pete full, my truth, my struggle, you know, my journey.
Uh, I did not wanna get diagnosed.
Matter of fact, I had, like, doctors and therapists that worked for me, and I knew that if I would just be true to them, they would probably say Tanya, we need to have a sit down.
And I never forget being diagnosed.
It’s at first they thought I had a brain tumor, and then at first they thought it was MS.
And when I finally got the diagnosis, I’m not gonna lie and not tell you that I’m like, man, I wish he was a diagnosis of a brain tumor because people were different, and it wouldn’t be as much stigma when it came to saying, you know what?
My name is Tanya. I’m a pastor, my woman of faith, but I also have a diagnosis of, uh, mental illness, and that’s depression and anxiety.
Because, look, I can have a scripture and a script too, which I do take in the morning and at night.
And to let people know that you can live mil you can live well with mental health.
You can live well with having a mental health diagnosis. It does not define me.
It’s why I am, but I share my truth because I need people to know that there’s hope help and healing, and it not healing is their birthright.
And so Bishop says something early about secrets, you know, and how secrets can keep you sick And it was till when I came to realize that I needed to be opened about myself that, you know, I didn’t have to feel like, you know, what people think I have depression?
That mean I have spirit or devil, because we tell people that, and we have told people that, but this is gonna change that conversation.
And that lived experience and being authentic and leading from a place of healing, leading from a place of being open and honest to let people know, look, this is my diagnosis.
You know, like someone who has cancer or some kind of other illness, there’s hope, there’s hope, and there’s healing, and just being real with people where I am, sharing that to let them know that
you hope. Hey, man. To that, y’all, please take a moment to take this in.
We are on a worldwide town hall with some of the most expert and leading and influential voices in the country and thousands of people dialed in Um, and we heard from Bishop TD Jake sort of opening up this conversation.
Doctor Quicke the pastor of, uh, one of the most influential badest churches in the state of New Jersey in the Eastern seaboard board just told us that he has a therapist Okay.
Sister Tania Miles who is doing this leading this work around the country has talked through her own mental health story.
Uh, your host here will talk about the times where I’ve had I pulled over on the side of the road and called my wife thinking I was having the heart attack or a stroke, but it was because of anxiety that my my heart was racing and pacing.
And I had to go get therapy as well. This is all of our stories.
This is not something that’s hidden away, but and and you should be ashamed of This is all of our stories.
Um, I I wanna get to a a couple other questions, um, in bringing a few other voices What do you what do you do in terms of balancing the need to be open and transparent and vulnerable with also having boundaries.
And and pastor Aaron, maybe you could speak to this.
You know, when pastors and leaders are facing issues, whether that’s you know, challenges with kids, health challenges that are weighing on their minds, grief and loss, you know, divorce, etcetera.
The the that can feel overwhelming for them How should they handle that in a way that sort of balances the desire to be vulnerable and transparent with with also having boundaries and any thoughts on that?
Yeah. It’s great. I mean, I think we always have to lead by example, um, as as pastors and leaders.
And so just leading with vulnerability, are preaching.
And but sometimes there’s things you’re going through, and you don’t wanna put the congregation in the awkward place where they feel like they need to then pastor you.
There can be a role conflict there where you can sometimes be over vulnerable And so I I have found in my own life not only being totally real with my wife and best friends, but also with my board of overseers that they know exactly how for me, what’s going on in my life.
And then also with our prayer team, um, with, I need a prayer covering.
And just like this week, I’m going through it where I realized on Saturday, I was so exhausted going into preaching on Sunday, and I realized it was because we lost a thirty six year old in our church.
He had 3 young kids under four And I was preparing to do his funeral and prepare to preach, and I didn’t have time to process it.
And so just to be able to be real with my prayer covering, with our board of overseers, Uh, and then with other pastors, there’s something around just getting together with other pastors and leaders that are not within your congregation that you can keep it real with.
And then I find it really is helpful to be honest with the church about what you’re going through, but it’s often the timing of that So if I’m going through something in my marriage, I’m not sharing all that real time.
I’m sharing that maybe 6 months that as I’m coming out of a year and and sharing stories of how god work through therapy.
How we then went to counseling, and god brought us breakthrough so that I can be an inspiration to others and then point people to our 9 counselors and our manage you.
We’re doing incredible work and integrating integrating mental health with faith.
So those are some of the ways that we try to lead by example.
Man, that’s good. Um, so there’s still a level of discernment. Right?
It’s not just, you know, just kind of open up in willy nilly, but it gets back to what Bishop Jake said.
Some people who don’t care about your title that you can get pulled to the side and just say I am going through something.
I have a prayer call every Tuesday morning. We had it this morning. I was late because pray
for me. My five
year old had an appointment with her principal.
We don’t want to leave that story for another day, but I but I was on the call.
Pray for
Adelaide Dubois. Please but I was on the call and was able to be vulnerable with a group of 3 other guys that we’ve been getting together for the last 5 years.
Get you somebody who doesn’t care about your title and and that’s a space that, um, uh, pastors can lead.
I wanna point out something in the chat. And it’s the power of the word and.
So we had one person, Diana Benson, and it’s not to call you out.
It’s because I believe in what she says, sister Dianne, she said, you have to pray against the enemy. True.
Right? I would add the word and, right, and Craigus enemy and tap into the resources that we’re talking about right now.
All of this can come together.
Um, I wanna we’re we’re a little overtime, so I wanna hit 2 last questions real quick.
1, um, Doctor Hunt, maybe I can get this over to you.
You know, what is this line between people who are just kind of having a bad day and folks in our churches that may be presenting symptoms of something um, that that is a more acute challenge.
You know, let’s say you’re a pastor, a choir director, youth pastor, head of a usher board, Um, how can you spot someone who’s maybe a little sad versus someone who may be struggling with depression, anxiety, or another mental health challenge?
What’s what’s the line that that will help us tell the difference?
And then what do you do when you see those signs? Would would you mind speaking to that?
Maybe Doctor Tarkin will answer.
Thank you. That’s a great cross You know, I I am one who’s known to say you can’t heal or treat what you can’t identify.
And so it’s important for us to identify the differences between what sadness because you know what?
Sadness is just a normal, um, experience. It’s it’s a normal reaction to difficulties sometimes in life.
It’s a natural human experience, but depression is different.
And so it’s about identifying and knowing that it’s a mood disorder that may cause severe symptoms that can affect how we think, feel, and handle our day to day day lifestyles.
How do we even sleep it interrupts our sleep?
So you’re you’re looking for Maybe individuals just aren’t talking as often as they used to.
They’re being restless. They’re isolating. Feeling agitated or irritable.
Um, you may lack energy, feeling hopeless.
So you’re looking for for these type of of movements that individuals have, but I I I want to say there’s nothing like honest Just vulnerability in asking, how are you doing today?
That’s so important. When you start to see repeat behavior because someone can show something, and I don’t want people out there trying to diagnose everybody that they see in the church or the choir or what have That’s not what we’re talking about.
We’re talking about repeat behavior of sadness and isolation. And sadness, as I said, is is It’s okay.
It can be a segue into depression, but when you start to see people isolate, don’t wanna talk, feeling hopeless, feeling as though they can’t go on, it’s time for us to intervene.
And how do we do that? Check-in. Honestly, under stand. We are created in relationship.
We are loved in relationship. We can be hurt in relationship. But healing only comes through relationship.
So let’s check-in on each other.
That’s good. That’s good. Wanna, um, wanna kind of do one last question for anyone who wants to answer that, mister takes you if you you could maybe close out this section for us.
Just, you know, put your your your dream in big hat on.
Let’s take a god’s eye view of this. What is possible when comes to mental health in our community.
What’s the best possible vision for a future where pastors, lay leaders, people in the church are healthy and well?
Doctor Tart, maybe you’ll Um, you could kick us off. Others can join in as you see fit.
And then and then, Mister Jackson, you can close out with your thoughts there.
Alright. We’re gonna start seeing better medical results. Right? There’s a high cost to not talking.
Uh, 80% of autoimmune diseases come from self silencing.
Sucking it up and trying to suck it up with a bigger straw.
And then you have high blood pressure. And then you try to go to sleep. Right?
But your mind is racing. You’re anxious. You’re depressed. You can turn your mind off from these negative thoughts.
No matter how much you try to believe all your thoughts slant towards being anxious.
And so what’s happening When we look at the number one predictor of depression and especially suicide, you know, what it is?
It’s sleep deprivation. We can’t sleep.
It’s not asking someone if they wanna hurt themselves because they’ll cover it up. They’ll see that coming.
But if you assess and you ask any doctor and they ask about sleep deprivation, chronic sleep deprivation, whether a team, whether it’s a pastor, that’s what’s affecting us.
And so if we’re able to go from self silencing to labeling people as safe versus unsafe versus I don’t trust anyone.
That’s not belief. You have to find people who are safe.
It is a mistake to trust someone who’s untrustworthy but it’s also a mistake to distrust someone who’s trustworthy.
So we have to make sure that we open up, let our feelings out, Get the tools to feel better so we can sleep, feel better, and be less depressed and anxious that the head of the surgeon general said if we can get more people to sleep, and sleep, restfully, we’re going to decrease depression and anxiety significantly.
And that’s my wish is that we’re able to get better sleep and have better well-being and open up to save people and believers, especially those who are trained to help us to be well versus deal with it all alone.
If you could use better sleep, just put a a man in the chat, and I’m about to type a man myself, because that’s that is We
need 49 hours a week.
49 hours. To chart and
not Well, you know, Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Tell me.
Oh. Yeah. To piggyback on that, it’s integrated care. If we have a big disconnect from the neck up.
And it is a holistic approach. And we have to look at it like that.
We have to see mental health and physical health is being the same.
And for too long, I think that’s what been the taboo thing.
You know, we have to realize our brain is just like any other organ in our body, and it’s all connective.
And so when we address that so to me, That’s what a wonderful world would look like when it’s integrated.
That would be the that would be a one thing.
That’s good.
I love that. Doctor Miranda, I think you’re jumping in.
Yeah. So I, um, and we all have a fundamental need to belong and to feel loved.
And I’m thinking been thinking today about how Jesus healed in the stories in the Bible.
Um, and healing the physical, you know, mental, uh, the, uh, body also came with a restoration to community.
Um, Jesus focused on people who were on the margins who were ostracized And so healing, there was physical healing, but there was also a restoration to community.
And so, um, you know, my, my, my dream for the church, I’ve been in the church my whole life, and my dream for the church is that people who are ostracized, um, can come back to can be, um, restored to community.
And that includes as a suicide researcher, those who are most vulnerable to having suicidal thoughts and behaviors like, um, uh, black and Latino members of the queer community of the LGBTQ community, who, um, have experienced harm in our churches.
And so my hope, my dream for this is by starting these conversations.
That we can reach a point where, um, where, um, those who are on the margins can be restored to community and experience the full, um, and expansive love of god.
Wow. What’s that thinking, Doctor Miranda said there too, heal yourself is to heal the community as well.
I love that. I’m sorry. Somebody would jump in. Was that Doctor Quik, please? Yeah.
I I just wanted to offer 1 or 2 practical things from my view.
I I’m a fan of the mental health work that Bishop Hicks is doing his clinic.
And for for pastors who are pastoring smaller churches, with without great resources.
Uh, Moses, when he was in doubt, god asked what’s in your hand.
My vision is that we start using the immense resources that are in our congregations and our neighborhoods.
Um, we’ve tapped into our members who have psychological backgrounds, licensed clinical social workers, psychologists.
They formed a mental health ministry.
We do things like curative conversations people can have those conversations in small, confidential groups around depression.
Sometimes our vision is so big. We don’t know how to take the first step.
Starting small and impacting the life that’s in front of you, starting with yourself, and then being contagious.
My vision is that we are contagious and that we practice what I call a non competitive Christianity.
Maybe we form groups. The only competition I have is Satan.
If you have a resource and I have a resource, and we’re down the block from each other.
That’s good.
How can we transform our two dots together?
Yeah.
Maybe you have a psychologist Maybe I have a therapist. Yep.
Maybe I have space for a a licensed clinical social worker. Definitely.
But they may not be able to pay rent.
But if you use this space in my church, if you see 1 or 2 members a week, we also use what’s in our hands.
I’m trying to dream of being so big that we start where we are.
Yeah. I love that. I love that. We use what is in our hands.
And and listen, one of the resources, it’s not just a plug, but in in mister Vicks, you use the resources in your hands pull us together, um, and and we also were able to pull together with this mental health hub.
That is a resource. It is a 6 module, um, journey you know, with video after video that you can equip yourself to impact yourself and your community as well.
Y’all, this has been a phenomenal conversation.
Bishop, anything on this last note of what the big vision is for the church and mental health?
I I wanna piggyback off of what Doctor Quicks said. I think it’s very, very important.
I had pastored as little as seven people I pastored a a fairly large congregation.
I’ve I’ve seen life on both sides.
And one of the things that I learned uh, even as we grew, is that