Stop Wasting Time on the Wrong Relationship: Sarah Jakes Roberts and Jekalyn Carr
How to Stop Wasting Time on the Wrong Relationships and Trust God’s Process
Building meaningful relationships whether in business, friendship, or dating often comes with obstacles, especially when trust and vulnerability are on the line. Many of us have poured time, energy, and our hearts into people and situations, only to realize later it wasn’t truly what God wanted for us. In this article, we explore Christian wisdom for discerning the right relationships, trusting who God sends, and embracing His timing for our lives. If you’ve ever wrestled with letting go, breaking unproductive cycles, or finding peace in waiting for God’s best, this is for you.
Learning to Trust in God’s Appointed People
Sometimes, our struggle with trusting others stems from past hurts or simply the fear of relinquishing control. The journey of faith often means opening ourselves to new people God brings into our lives even when it’s tough. In business, for example, it can seem easier to keep things “in the family” or lean on those closest to you. Yet as your responsibilities grow, you realize divine appointments extend beyond your comfort zone. God often sends the right people equipped to handle tasks and join you in your mission, even if trusting them takes some practice.
It’s natural to be cautious, especially if you’ve experienced betrayal or disappointment. But scripture reminds us to “watch as well as pray.” Invite God into your decision-making, then pay attention to the peace He gives don’t turn off your common sense, but let faith inform your choices. In the process, you’ll learn the balance between oversight and release, knowing that if God sent someone into your life or business, He will also give you peace to move forward.
Vulnerability: Letting Others See Imperfections
Trust goes beyond professional collaborations it reaches deep into our personal vulnerabilities. Allowing people to see behind the scenes of your life can feel intimidating. Will they see your flaws and judge you? Or will they come alongside you in support? The willingness to let others in is an act of faith, and while caution is wise, don’t let fear keep you isolated. Pray for discernment, wisdom, and an open spirit, trusting God to bring people who will value and nurture the true you, imperfections and all.
Whether in business or relationships, it’s not about perfection, but progress. Invite God into your space and ask for the wisdom to spot the ones He’s truly sent and the courage to face vulnerability head-on.
Trusting God with Friendships and Personal Relationships
Making new friends or dating in adulthood can feel even more complicated. Many people wonder how to build genuine connections or who to trust as they expand their circles. The key is surrender. Instead of striving to manufacture friendships or relationships, allow God to orchestrate divine meetings in your life.
Rather than tirelessly searching for friends or partners, make space for God to send the right ones. When it comes to dating, pray for clarity from the outset. Ask the Lord to guide your steps and reveal if a connection is not aligned with His will preferably before investing significant time and emotion. God knows your heart, your needs, and the signs you’ll recognize. Allow Him to close every counterfeit door before too much is invested.
Being closed off can also hinder God’s blessings. Open your heart to new possibilities, knowing that God doesn’t want you pouring your goodness into relationships that aren’t designed for this season. Discerning who is meant to journey with you begins with prayer, trust, and a willingness to wait for God’s answer.
The Importance of Openness and Allowing God to Lead
Many of us say we want relationships, but when opportunity arises, we aren’t truly open. Whether in dating or friendship, intentions matter. Sometimes, friendships or dates falter not because God hasn’t sent the right person, but because we try to control outcomes or rush the process.
Remember, if your heart is closed, nothing new can enter. Stay surrendered to God’s direction, maintaining space for Him to orchestrate relationships that align with His will. Keep in mind your destiny has already been written by your Creator. Approach new connections prayerfully, asking God to cut off anything that isn’t genuinely from Him, and to do it mercifully and clearly.
Dating with intention doesn’t have to mean dating multiple people if that doesn’t feel right. Focus on what works for you, but keep God at the center of the process. Ask yourself: Can I handle the weight and purpose of this relationship? Does this person have the capacity to support who I am and who God is calling me to become? Purpose should be tied to partnership, not just chemistry or physical attraction.
Recognizing Red Flags and Avoiding Counterfeit Connections
Many of us have experienced “counterfeits” relationships that seemed promising but weren’t truly God’s best for us. This doesn’t always mean the other person is bad; often, it’s simply that your paths and destinies are not aligned. The maturity to recognize this comes from self-reflection and spiritual growth.
You may look back and realize you spent months, even years, investing in something God never intended. The lesson? As you evolve, become more intentional about the connections you allow. Don’t be afraid to end cycles that repeat negativity and prevent your growth. Do the inner work: Ask God to break unhelpful patterns and to help you move forward, healed and whole.
If you’ve experienced one failed relationship after another, it’s time to ask deeper questions. Were you honest about your needs? Did you invite God into the process? Have you done the work to ensure the cycle is finally broken? When you’re intentional and surrendered, you open yourself to the right kind of love and friendship the kind that propels you toward your calling.
Practicing Accountability Over Bitterness
After a breakup or disappointment, it’s easy to villain
