Lysa TerKeurst: Rejection is Not the End of Your Story

Lysa TerKeurst sits down with Laurie Crouch and Christine Caine on TBN’s Praise. Listen as Lysa TerKeurst dives into the powerful story of Abigail in the Bible, and how she turned the pain of rejection into redirection and restoration.

All of us have found ourselves in these kind of really difficult situations.
And Abigail I think is reminding, not only David but us, we’ve got to go back and trace God’s hand of faithfulness.
If we can’t see God’s faithfulness in our circumstances.
Today, we’ve got to trace God’s hand of faithfulness and start preaching a message to ourselves.
God did it before and he will do it again.
The story of Abigail is found in First Samuel chapter 25.
And um the scriptures start out introducing us to Abigail’s husband and I love the Hebrew pronunciation of his name.
It’s naval. So just say it with me and it just makes you feel kind of the truth of his character because the scriptures say that he was mean and surly in his dealings.
And it also there’s some clues in there as well that says that he was so hard hearted, no one could even talk to him.
So I don’t think he was just mean and surly and hard hearted it in his business dealings.
I think he brought that home as well. So Abigail has certain realities of her life.
She’s married to this man that’s very difficult. She uh so that’s a burden.
She also has blessings because her husband is very wealthy. So we find that out in scripture as well.
But she also has busines. It’s about to be festival season when we find her in first Samuel 25.
So she’s very busy. You know, the girl has been on Pinterest.
She’s got some list, right, of all the things that she needs to do to prepare for the festival.
So David comes on the scene.
Now, David is uh the the one that we read about in the Bible with um David and Goliath and all of that.
Now, at the point that we find David interacting with naval and Abigail, he has been anointed to be the future king, but he has not yet been appointed to take the throne.
So currently, when we find him in First Samuel 25 David has been running for his life from Saul who is the existing king sitting on the throne.
So David’s been hiding in caves and it’s very interesting to me as I study David’s life, understanding that he probably at this point was very, very confused and maybe even feeling slightly rejected by God because God had made such a big deal about anointing David to be the future king.
But David’s life doesn’t look anything like what a king’s life should look like.
Also, David had suffered a pretty significant rejection we find in First Samuel chapter 16, when the prophet Samuel came to anoint the future king in the home of Jesse’s sons.
Jesse didn’t even bring David in from the field.
If you remember, he, he passed by all the sons and said, is this all you have Jesse?
And then he says, well, there is one more of the youngest, but he’s out tending the sheep.
Can you imagine when David walks in, in that moment? And the realization falls fresh on him.
It was probably David’s worst day and best day all in the same moment because he looked at his father that didn’t even think enough of him to bring him in to meet with the prophet Samuel.
That’s a big deal to have Samu come to your, your presence, you know, and I wonder if David looked at his father and said, your love should have felt like a security blanket to me, but it feels more like a question mark.
And I believe in that moment, David carried a wound of rejection that we see come out in the story of David and Naval and abigail.
So what happens is David is at that point in his life where some men have gathered around him.
We find out a little bit about those men.
In First Samuel chapter 22 these men were discontented in debt and disgruntled in every way.
There’s a fun group of people to leave, right?
So they um they gathered around David and there’s about 600 of them with him.
So they have been protecting Val’s flocks and we’re not really sure if it was an arranged paid job, but regardless, he’s done Naval a great favor protecting his wealth.
So now it’s about to be festive time. So David sins word to Naval. I’ve done you a great favor.
Give me festival food to feed my men and bless us in that way.
And Val’s response to the men that David sent, it’s very interesting. He said, who is this?
David, who is the son of Jesse?
Well, the men, David sent to talk to Naval came back and the scriptures say they reported every word naval said to David.
So you know that when David hears this, who is this, David, who is the son of Jesse?
At that moment, I believe he went back in his past, pulled the hurt from the event of the rejection of his father.
It compounded the rejection of naval. Naval said, I’m not going to give you food.
And suddenly David went from being hungry for food to starving for revenge.
And David says we’re going to kill Naval and every man in his household.
Well, one of the servants catches wind of what’s going on decides it’s high time to get a woman involved.
And so this servant goes and finds Mama Abigail.
The scriptures, tell us Abigail is beautiful and she is intelligent and Abigail knows exactly what to do.
She’s going to prepare a festive, a festival set of food.
She’s going to prepare the food that David wants so she can meet his physical needs.
But Abigail is going to do something much more significant for David.
She’s going to meet a spiritual need that he has in him with.
I think one of the greatest speeches given by anyone in the Bible and it’s given by Abigail this woman to this man.
Now remember David had a great destiny on his life, but he was about to derail his entire destiny because of a hurt, a rejection in his life.
And I just wonder how many of us can find ourselves in that same spot.
How many of us to navigate the rejections in our life?
Either we compromise because we’re so afraid of a rejection or we derail our rejection because our reactions are totally out of proportion.
And we forget I’ve been called to a life of holiness. I’ve been called to a life of purity.
When you’re called, you are called to serve God with your whole heart.
Well, David is about to derail his destiny because God has not said to kill naval and all in his household.
It would be a regret that Dave would sit on David for a long time if he did this so many times, I think today’s choices become tomorrow’s regrets, especially when our emotions get so out of whack.
And we don’t let God rein him in.
Well, abigail goes to meet David and these 600 men imagine the scene. David has a drawn sword.
All the men with him have a drawn sword. Testosterone is flowing.
And David said, may God deal with me ever so severely if I leave alive one who belonged to naval in his household and suddenly there’s abigail now, I’m sorry.
But if I saw a man in that kind of rage with a drawn sword, I hardly think that I would do what she did.
She comes and bows down in front of him in a posture of extreme humility, but Abigail, she was not only beautiful, intelligent.
She was also so incredibly wise because she knew it’s only in humility that she would find the opportunity to speak to a man like David humility was not a position of weakness for her.
It was the position of incredible strength and we would do well to remember that as well.
Then Abigail speaks into David’s life.
And the first thing she says, when she starts off after her introduction, she says, pay no attention to that wicked man.
Naval. He is just like his name. It means fool and fly goes with him everywhere he goes.
I love that. Abigail says, David, your problem is that you are paying attention to fools and foolish things.
And when we pay attention to fools and foolish things, we will bankrupt our perspective.
Every time Abigail reminds David, you’re gonna steer where you stare and if you’re staring at trouble, you’re gonna steer toward trouble.
But you’ve got to stare at the reality that you are a man called by God.
You’ve got to stare at God’s calling on your life and his truth and his assignment.
So you don’t get pulled into these other things. I really believe our job is to be obedient to God.
God’s job is everything else. And abigail reminds David over and over and over.
Another thing she tells David, your enemies will be hurled away as from the pocket of a sling.
I think what she’s reminding David of is David. I’ve heard about you. Yeah, I know what you did.
When you had a sling in your hand, you charged toward someone Goliath that, that no one else in Israel would dare go against and you had the courage.
Why? Because God did that for you, God empowered you.
And if God has done it before, he will do it again.
And sometimes when we’re in these really difficult life situations, like what David was in hiding in caves, knowing God had anointed me, but my life doesn’t look anything like I thought God promised me it would having this man reject me in front of my men and being shamed and, and pulling in the pain of the past rejection of my father, all of us have found ourselves in these kind of really difficult situations.
And Abigail I think is reminding not only David but us, we’ve got to go back and trace God’s hand of faithfulness.
If we can’t see God’s faithfulness in our circumstances.
Today, we’ve got to trace God’s hand of faithfulness and start preaching a message to ourselves.
God did it before and he will do it again.
And I think the story ends up in such a powerful way.
The story winds up that uh David doesn’t kill naval. He stays on course with his destiny.
He praises God for sending Abigail to him.
And Abigail has this funny little line and she’s like, and David right before she walks off and David, once God has done everything he promised, remember your servant.
Now, I don’t wanna make assumptions that she was flirting here, but it gets a little spicy up in there because uh God does eventually deal with naval in a very harsh way and naval is struck down and he dies.
And then David sends word to Abigail asking her to become his wife. Am I? It is amazing.
And it says Abigail quickly got up on her donkey and said here, am I ready to serve you?
Oh, I bet she did so. But the story doesn’t even end there.
You know, it’s kind of messy because David has some other wives and some concubines and it gets kind of like a bad sister’s wives episode.
But uh regardless I, I love the fact that her story doesn’t tie up in a neat, nice bow because my life never does either.
Right. And I think it’s such a beautiful picture.
Abigail, she could have played the victim card in her life.
She, I’m sure felt the sting of rejection when a woman lives in a home where a man is physically present but emotionally absent, they create, it creates a hollow feeling inside a girl’s heart.
And I’m sure Abigail could have played the victim card, but she didn’t, she walked the path of victory.
It’s impossible to hold up the banners of victim and victory.
At the same time, we’ve got to make that choice.
And I love that Abigail took her own hurt and her own rejection.
And instead of it working against her, she created this empathetic response to David and obedience to God that I believed kept David on the path to becoming the king from whose bloodline king Jesus would eventually come.