What to Do When You Feel Alone – Sarah Jakes Roberts

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What to Do When You Feel Alone

Transformation can only take place in isolation. You may feel alone or misunderstood for a season, but God see’s you, He is with you and He is preparing you for great things. What’s on the other side of your transformation is essential for your calling and purpose. Pastor Sarah gives us the tools to help us in seasons where we feel like we are the only one.

Nedra Glover chose violence. That’s what I told her when we were at lunch.
If you weren’t in here, then you didn’t get to experience some of the violence.
But let me tell you, my girl really came for us, make some noise if you weren’t here, if you weren’t here, girl, let me tell you she had the audacity to tell us to stop inviting people to make us do more.
Like when you say, let me know if you need anything and you’re already at capacity and can’t do anything even if they need something.
But you say it anyway, that was the kind of violence she chose.
And uh we were at lunch and she was like, you know, you said that to me when you saw me, she was like, yeah, you said let me know if you need anything and like honestly, could you do anything if I needed anything?
And I was like, wow, I, I invited you to my house. You jacked me up. What is this?
And um but I, I had to really search my heart because I really felt like justified in me, like wanting to be hospitable, me wanting to make sure people, oh, and then she said availability is not a love language.
Like just because you show that you’re avail that doesn’t make someone love you more, that doesn’t make you more worthy trying to be available all the time even to the extent of burning yourself out.
Um And so, but I got defensive because that’s what I do.
Um If there were a degree in getting defensive, I would have my doctorate in it.
It’s one of the things I don’t wanna say, I enjoy it. It’s just my default setting by defensive.
I mean, like I am going to argue like Viola Dali and Davis and how to get away with murder.
You’re not just gonna tell me I did something wrong.
I’m gonna plead my case and you’re gonna hear it because I know why I did it and until you know why I did it, I don’t really wanna hear from you about what I could do better, you know what I’m saying?
Like I’m doing the best that I can.
And so I got defensive and I had to get my heart together during lunch because that is not the posture of a woman who evolves, she gotta be willing to grow and stuff or whatever.
And um I realized though that part of my defensive defensiveness really comes from my desire to be understood, right?
I think at the end of the day, I am defending the idea that you don’t understand me.
It’s not about whether or not what I did was right or wrong, it could have been wrong.
But I wanna feel like you understand why I made the choice that I made because I feel like if you understood, then maybe you wouldn’t be so angry or maybe you would be more compassionate.
I wanna be understood. The only issue with wanting to be understood is that it often keeps you from having connection because it’s difficult to connect with someone who was so guarded and so defensive.
And I am beginning to believe that defensiveness is one of the symptoms of feeling like you are the only one, the only one who understands exactly what you’re up against.
The only one who could possibly be in your family who has any idea that this generational curse exists but also needs to be broken.
I heard my sister Armani talking about how do I go back home to my family when I know I have to break this generational curse?
And what I hear her saying is how do I prepare my defense against the world that I’m going back in?
If we’re honest, some of us are thinking to ourselves already, how do I prepare my defense?
I’m going back into a situation defensive because I don’t want anything to be stolen from me.
And that’s how you know, that you aren’t really sure that it’s stuck because if you were really sure what you experienced stuck.
Then you would know that no one could take it from you.
When we hear in scripture, things like this joy that I have.
The world didn’t give it and the world can’t take it away.
It’s because the joy that I have doesn’t have anything to do with the world around me.
So they can’t even access it.
I wanna talk to somebody who wants to do more than just have a conference where I go back and have to protect it.
But quite literally, I experience transformation. If you experience transformation, that nobody can take. What?
Oh I feel like that is for somebody. I don’t want you to go back assuming a posture of defense.
When God has called you to move into a position of offense, you got some points to make baby, you’ve got some goals to make baby and you can’t do that.
If you feel like you’re defending.
I hear God saying that it is OK for you to be on the front line that I will be your shield, that I will be your collector.
When we say no weapon formed against you will prosper.
It also says in any tongue that rises up against you, I will condemn.
I don’t have to be defensive when I know that my God is defending me.
I don’t have to look out for myself when I know that God has my back.
What happened in this room was real? No one can take it away from me.
And so when I step into my identity, I’m not gonna go into it like a little girl who can be robbed or a little girl who can have something taken away from her.
I’m going into it as a grown woman, a grown woman who had an encounter that will never change me again.
And yes, I may be the only one who had it, but this only one has layers and dimensions down on the inside of me.
This only one gotta tap of the holy ghost. And I’m staying close to the river.
I love this text because Lazarus at this point in the text is the only one in his circle who has experienced death and resurrection would have made sense to me.
If Jesus resurrected him to then just say stick with me.
Stay close to the power that resurrected you because no one in your family is gonna get you now.
But Jesus resurrects Lazarus and then leaves him back in the family where he is the only one.
Somebody in this room, you’ve been resurrected, you felt connection, you felt friendship, you felt sisterhood.
But we all know that at the end of the day, we’re going back into our world where we can often feel like I’m the only one raising this child.
I’m the only one that’s gonna be in this apartment by myself.
I’m the only one who’s gonna have to figure out what confidence looks like for me, I am the only one and I wanted to study this because it shows me that when you experience transformation, that it does not automatically mean that you have company that God doesn’t mind transforming you and sending you back into an environment where you are.
The only one. Why is that? Because God trusts what happened down on the inside of you?
God trusts the power that is down on the inside of you.
And I hear God saying, I don’t know who you are, but I feel my help coming.
I don’t know who you are.
But I hear God say that if you stayed in an environment of power, it would give you an excuse to not unleash what I put down on the inside of you.
But I’m sending you back into a city, I’m sending you back into a family that needs the power that you have been exposed to.
That. This was not just so you could have play time, it’s so that you could get ready for game time.
And I want a woman in this room to understand that the games have just begun. Baby.
It’s time for you to check into your flight.
It’s time for you to close your laptop because it’s time for you to start being the hands and feet of Jesus.
I wish I had some women in this room who recognize that when the power gets in me.
And so that the power can position me.
I hear God saying the power, the power, the power that you experience, the power that you soaked up is meant to position you, position you and you’re gonna be the only one for a minute.
You came here with a group of women, but you’re still gonna be the only one because what God has called you to do, no one else can do it.
But you and you’re gonna have to be comfortable being the only one.
This is not a recess, this is not the playground, this is the Kingdom of Heaven.
And if you want friends, you better go back to school.
But if you wanna build something that matters, if you wanna break a generational curse, you gotta do it from the place of it’s OK that I’m the only one.
I don’t need anyone else to validate me. Jesus says I need not for man to validate me.
You’re gonna be the only one raising that child.
You may be the only one building that family. You may be the only one writing a book.
You may be the only one in your apartment because when you choose transformation, you have to withstand isolation.
Transformation cannot happen with company. Transformation takes place in isolation.
And we’re gonna find out what stuck when you’re the only one.
We’re gonna see how good this praise was when you were the only one but somebody received from the well and they don’t mind being the only one because they access worship that will allow them to pull from what God gave me.
That’s why we gotta give you tools, not inspiration.
Because when Sarah Jake Roberts is not here, you gotta know that that well is down on the inside of me too.
And if I create an environment where I don’t mind getting down on my knees where I don’t mind opening up my mouth, then that same glory will fill my house, that same glory will fill my bathroom.
And suddenly, suddenly I won’t be the only one anymore.
Suddenly it won’t just be me.
You gotta to withstand this period of being the only one.
Jesus resurrects Lazarus, then leave some, he leaves Lazarus after he’s been resurrected and he just happens to be in Bethany and decides to visit them.
And while he’s sitting at the table, Lazarus is there too.
And while Lazarus is there at the table too, I imagine that being Lazarus in that moment must have been very comforting because I’m finally close to someone who understands what it’s like to have the kind of power work through you that brings you back to life.
Part of the reason why I wanted to name our chat together.
Not for long is because when Lazarus passes the test of being the only one, Jesus comes back.
Oh God, I feel you on this, Jesus comes back.
But this time Jesus doesn’t have to resurrect Lazarus again. This time, he can break bread with Lazarus.
Oh Because Lazarus doesn’t need Jesus in the same way, he needed him before this breakthrough.
The true experience in this place, you’re never gonna need that power in the same way again.
I wish somebody would get this revelation down on the inside of them.
This is not just a conference for somebody. This was a graduation to the next dimension.
I’m not saying you don’t need the Lord. I’m just never gonna need you in that way again.
Does anybody want Jesus to break something off of them that you never have to experience again?
Spirit of fear, I rebuke you.
I rebuke every lie in this room that would make you believe that it’s just temporary all while you’re raising your hands, the enemy is whispering, you know, that’s not real.
You know, you’re going to backslide and I rebuke you in the name of Jesus and I call you out as the liar.
You are the same anointing that raised Lazarus from the dead and kept him from needing that power in that way again, has touched my sisters in a fresh new way.
And when Lazarus is sitting there with Jesus, he is reminded that he’s no longer alone because God’s never gonna let you be alone for long.
God’s gonna make sure that he sends someone who may not have gone through exactly what you went through, but they understand the power that’s working down on the inside of you.
The women in this room are not just ordinary women.
The women in this room are reminders that you are not going to be alone for long because God is raising up women everywhere to take their places at his table.

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