Finding Hope and Wholeness in God: A Biblical View of Relationships | Pastor Paula | City of Destiny

Romans 12:1-2 urges believers to offer their bodies as a living sacrifice, dedicating themselves fully to God. This act of devotion is not only about physical sacrifice, but also about transforming our minds. It is a rational and intelligent form of worship to renew our thinking, turning away from the superficial values and customs of the world, and embracing spiritual growth. By focusing on godly values and ethical principles, we come to understand God’s will for our lives—what is good, acceptable, and perfect in His plan for us.

To begin the process of renewing your mind, it’s essential to understand the influence of your past experiences on your relationships. Each of us has a “love map,” shaped by how we’ve been treated by those around us, like parents or caretakers. Whether we realize it or not, our thoughts often guide our actions. As Proverbs says, “As a man thinks, so is he.” Our actions reflect our inner beliefs and feelings, especially in the realm of relationships.

To build healthy and whole relationships, we must first examine our past wounds and begin the process of healing. You cannot give love if you have not received or understood it. Our ability to love others often mirrors how we wish to be loved ourselves. If we lack a biblical understanding or have an unrenewed mind, we may struggle in our relationships.

Next, it’s important to ask, “Why do I choose the people I choose?” Whether it’s a spouse, friend, or acquaintance, the people we surround ourselves with are often the result of deeper, sometimes subconscious, reasons. Though you didn’t choose your parents, many aspects of your relationships are in your control.

Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” In the Message Bible, this is translated as, “It’s not good for man to be alone. I’ll make him a companion.” The term “helper” in this verse refers to someone who surrounds, protects, and aids. A counterpart, standing boldly in front of you, provides balance and strength. While opposites may attract, lasting relationships are often built on common ground and conflict resolution.

God’s purpose in creating man and woman is to complement each other, not only in love but in purpose, protection, and mutual support. It is vital to understand that God designed relationships for companionship, as we are not meant to face life alone. During the challenges and tragedies we see in the world today—such as the rising rates of anxiety, divorce, and even suicide—this truth becomes even more evident. It is heartbreaking to witness these struggles, but we must remember that God’s desire is for us to have fulfilling, purposeful relationships that support us through life’s challenges.