How To Save Your Marriage | Billy Graham Classic Sermon

“The home is the very foundation of our society.” Hear Billy Graham explain the importance of building a marriage on the truth of God’s Word in this 1968 message from San Antonio, Texas.

From our archives, the Billy Graham classics.
Now tonight, I want to talk on the subject of the home.
How to save your marriage, how to have a happy home.
Now many of these servicemen here haven’t gotten married yet, but they come from homes they’re looking forward someday to having a home.
So you can listen with interest as well because every man and every woman is interested in the home and the problems involved in the home today.
And our text is found in Matthew, the 19th chapter beginning at verse 3, these words.
The Pharisees also came under him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
And the unsidence said unto them, Have you not read that he which made them at the beginning, made them male and female, and said for this cause, shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and the twain shall be one flesh wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What, therefore, god hath joined together? Let not man put a Sunday. Is your marriage successful?
Is your home happy? Is your home free from tension that poses so many homes today?
Or is your home turmoil and strife? Why is it a broken home?
Why is it a home about to break up? 1 out of every 4 American marriages breaks up.
But during the last 3 years, the statistics are shooting up again after leveling off for about 5 years.
And now the big thing is wife swapping.
And a magazine said the other day that several million couples in America practice wife swapping, searching for happiness.
And because broken homes and divorce are now played up in so much of our mass media, that we assume that most homes are unhappy, but that’s not true.
I’m here to tell you tonight that the majority of the American homes stay together, and they are happy homes.
We only read about the bad ones the broken ones, the ones with turmoil, and strife.
Nearly all of our domestic problems faced by the nation begin in the home.
We see on our screens the riots the crime, where does it begin?
Most of our sociologists and criminologists tell us It begins in the home.
A nation can never rise higher than its home life.
And on a radio network last week, they had a study of crime in America, and they said that the largest single contributor to murder is marital turbulence.
Bitterness, crime, alienation and even war begins in the home.
Now the first thing that god did after creation was to establish the home.
He said it’s not good that man should be alone. I will make an associate to help him.
And god created the woman to help man before the government.
Before the church, before any other institution he established the home.
And yet today, the home in our country is in danger.
And the Bible says if the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?
The home is the very foundation of our society.
Our men are fighting in Vietnam Many of you men that are sitting before me tonight will go to Vietnam to fight.
I’ve been in Vietnam, I’ve seen something of the war there.
You may have to fight on other battlefields, on other continents. I don’t know. But I know this.
That we have a battle going on at home in America, and it’s being fought in the home.
And if the enemy wins the battle in our homes to break our homes, we are not going to have anything worth fighting for.
We’ve got to reestablish the home as the basic unit of our society.
And what are some of the elements in a successful and happy marriage?
First, there must be a divinely ordered marriage.
The Bible says if a house is divided against itself, that house so that home cannot stand.
The Bible says, be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Now this applies only to Christians.
If you’re a Christian, we are to marry another Christian.
That’s what that is saying.
And in the Old Testament, god said to the people, oh, that there was such a heart in them that they would fear me and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them and with their children and that they might have happy homes forever.
The fear of the lord and obedience to his plans and regulations for marriage almost guarantees a successful marriage, and it must begin in courtship.
Start dating the right girl or the right fellow. Have prayer together.
You say, Billy, don’t be such a square. You know, today, we don’t pray on dates.
Fact they don’t even call them dates anymore.
Why not pray if you’re both Christians?
And then when you start talking seriously, how about asking god to lead into direct?
So many marriages today are on the basis of physical attraction.
Rather than that inner beauty of character, because I want to tell you that physical traction soon passes unless there’s something to back it up with called Christian character.
Yes. It has to start in courtship.
Did you know it’s a very interesting thing that I was reading the other day something that was almost unbelievable It said in this survey was taken in the middle west, and they could only find one divorce in 4 100 homes, where the family went to church regularly, and where they read the Bible every day, and where they had prayer in the home every day.
One divorce in 400, the national average is 1 in 4.
This indicates to me that if you go to church and read your Bible and pray and believe in Christ and are disciples of Christ, it’s a guarantee.
Almost totally a guarantee of a completely successful marriage.
It seems to me that our sociologist and psychiatrists and all of our family counselors would understand that one thing.
That if you take a survey of America, you’ll find that among those that go to church and pray and read their Bibles and live for Christ, divorce very rarely takes place.
Now sometimes it does. And sometimes It may be necessary.
The scripture says in the fear of the lord is strong confidence and his children shall have a place of refuge.
A girl writing to a columnist signed her letter the other day wondering And here’s what she said.
I know this sounds rather naive, but can you tell me how a girl decides on who she’s going to marry?
You know what the servant of Abraham said when he was going out to look for a wife for Isaac?
He said, I, being in the way, the lord led me.
You give your life to Christ.
Receive him as your Lord and savior. Put your life in his hands.
Let him fill your heart.
You will be in the way God will lead you to the right girl or to the right fellow.
And it’ll be god’s choice because you see god has someone picked out just for you.
And if you try to find that girl or that feller on your own, you’re gonna make a tragic mistake.
You’ll get less than god’s best. Let him help you in picking out the right person.
Secondly, a successful marriage is one that is a daily fidelity to the marriage vow.
You promise to be faithful till death do you part.
The scripture has put a fence around marriage, and god has said, thou shalt not What is it?
Thou shall not commit adultery. The sex sin before marriage will break down your character and your ideals, and it will certainly jeopardize your future marriage.
Put that down. Sex outside of marriage is a sin according to the Bible.
Not because god doesn’t want you to have a good time.
It’s a sin because of what it does to you psychologically, what it does to your future marriage.
And many of our sociologists and psychiatrists are now coming to say that that is true.
The sense of guilt that it leaves and especially among young women, but there are many other things that I won’t go into tonight.
But the Bible says thou shall not commit adultery.
And after your marriage, and you commit this sin, The Bible says it’s one of the 7 deadly sins, and one of the worst sins that you can commit before god And the Bible says it hardens your heart toward god more than any other sin.
If you’re living that kind of a life, you can almost put it down not going to come to Christ.
Because you harden your heart, it’s possible to come to Christ.
It’s possible to come and ask his forgiveness, and he will forgive you. But your heart hardens.
And it’s hard for you to have a relationship to god.
But if you tonight are willing to turn from that sin and give it up, willing to break off that relationship that god condemns.
Christ died on the cross for your sins, and you can find forgiveness and you can put your wrecked life back together again with god’s help.
He will forgive you And you can leave here as clean and as pure as though you had never committed a sin.
But this sin was so terrible and god sight that in the Old Testament, he demanded the death penalty.
You know, it’s very interesting to me that in the Old Testament, when god laid out the laws of how society was to be regulated.
There was capital punishment. And it’s very interesting that capital punishment went to the man and the woman who was caught in the act of adultery.
And god was shot wanting to show to the world how serious the marriage vow is because you see you take this vow before god.
And the Bible talks about eyes full of adultery.
He that look at the bond a woman Jesus said and has lust in his heart is already guilty.
And Job said, I’ve made a covenant with my eyes. Why should I look upon a maid?
Thirdly, a successful marriage not only has fidelity to the marriage vow, but it’s also a daily family alter.
That means having daily prayer. In acts 5, it says, and daily in every house, they cease not to teach and preach Jesus Christ.
This scripture continually talks about the church in the house.
You had to have prayer and bible reading in your home.
Do you have it in your home? Do you say a blessing at the table? Before you eat.
Do you have a time when you get your family together for a few minutes and you read them a few verses have a prayer.
In our home, we have prayer and Bible reading. We make it very brief and very short.
I’ve never had one of my children rebel so far, at least, against devotions in the home because we’ve tried to make it interesting.
We’ve tried to make it brief.
And if we ever have a minister in and he’d praise too long, my little boy will remind him right in front of all of us to our embarrassment that it was a little long for the prayer.
Remember you’ve never had Bible reading in prayer in your home, and you’d be a little embarrassed to talk to your wife about it or your husband about it and you don’t know bring it up.
It’s it’s sort of an embarrassing subject. And, you know, I’ve never understood that. Quiet.
It’s embarrassing to talk about the king of kings and the lord of lords.
Is it embarrassing to talk about the queen of England?
Is it embarrassing to talk about some famous film star? Is it embarrassing to talk about some scientific discovery?
Why is it embarrassing to talk about the creator of the whole universe?
And why are we timid about talking to him?
We have the privilege of coming into his presence every day.
Into the throne room, and it will do more to help solve your problems as a family, and yet we don’t use that privilege.
Why? Is has Satan somehow trapped us into thinking that prayer doesn’t count.
You know, a lot of people wait until their children are grown or half grown before they start trying to teach them anything.
And then it’s too late. Unless you have your child pretty well by the time he’s 5 or 6, it’s almost too late.
The Bible says here a little, there a little, precept upon, precept a little bit here, a little bit there.
You can’t wait till he gets to be about 12 or 13 and suddenly try to jam religion down his throat.
It won’t work. You’ve got the start when they’re small and do it a little bit over time, but you said, Billy, I’ve already been such a failure as a parent.
Start now. A little bit now. Ask god to forgive you in the past. Say, oh, god.
I’ve been a failure. Please help me. And forgive me. He will.
And if you have sincere in your heart about it and you really make a turn and a change tonight, I believe that god will help you with those children no matter what age they are.
You can start tonight. And then, frankly, for a successful marriage, there must be a dedicated father and a husband.
Scripture says, and the lord said for I know Abraham that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the lord.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if god could say that about me?
For I know Billy Graham, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the lord.
Wouldn’t you like that to be said about you?
The Bible says Moses was faithful in all his house.
Now sometimes that takes help from the wife.
One man looked very depressed as he came out of his office after the 1st day with his new secretary.
And he, and he was asked why and he replied, that he had entrusted the hiring of a new secretary to his wife.
Very interesting replied his friend. Is she a blonde or brunette? She’s balls snap the man.
But it takes a dedicated husband and father for a successful home, and the Bible holds the man accountable and responsible.
In our home, my wife has had to be father and mother.
And she’s done a magnificent job And I give her credit tonight.
She’s read them with a Bible in one hand and a Hickory stick in the other.
And so far, it’s worked.
The Bible talks about people in the church, and it says one that rule if well is own house having his children in subjection.
You know, we’re developing in this country sort of a matriarchal society in certain segments of our society.
Where the husband is failed. This is not the failure of the wife.
The wife has to take over.
As almost in the case of my home, because I’ve traveled so much.
I’m thankful for a Christian wife who in all humility has tried to fill the place of husband and father and wife and mother.
But it’s a dangerous trend in a society when it becomes a matriarchal society because god is ordained that the man shall be the head of the house, and a man is to be the breadwinner in the family.
This is a man’s responsibility. And if the man is not meeting that responsibility, god is going to hold him responsible at the judgment.
You say, well, I haven’t been the right kind of a husband and I haven’t been the right kind of a father.
What am I going to do? Get on your knees right now and ask god to forgive you.
And determine from this moment on that you’re going to live a new life.
You’re going to let Christ into your heart. You’re going to ask him to forgive your sin.
And come into your life and make you the right kind of a husband and the right kind of a father.
And then, faithfully, to have a successful marriage, there must be a devoted wife and mother.
The Bible says, let mothers first show piety at home for that is good and acceptable before god.
The Bible says women should guide the house and give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
And, you know, sometimes on a television interview, we’ll see a housewife that’s being interviewed and they say, what do you do?
And she says, well, I’m just a housewife. Sort of apologizing. I’m no star.
I’m no glamour person. I’m just an ordinary housewife.
Well, I wanna say that to be a housewife and to be a mother, is the greatest calling in the world.
Now you men ought to applaud that because that is right.
And then, 6ley, There must be disciplined children.
The apostle Paul said that one of the signs of the latter days will be disobedient to parents and we see today, dis disobedient children.
Absalom was brought to the judgment of god in his later life because he disobeyed his father.
And in the bible, in the Old Testament, children, were severely punished for rebelling against their parents.
Now there’s a strange teaching going on today that children naturally rebel against their parents that all children reach an age when they rebel against their parents.
Don’t you believe it? I never really felt rebellion against my parents in the sense we’re talking about today.
My wife says she never felt any rebellion against her parents.
Nothing but love and reverential fear of her parents according to the Bible, And I’ve talked to hundreds of people asking them, did you rebel against your parents?
They said, no. I didn’t have time. I was working too hard.
And then 6ly, our determined destiny, get your house in order.
The scripture says, is your own house in order? Have you made a decision for Christ?
The scripture says, choose you this day whom you will serve but it’s for me and my house, we will serve the lord.
Believe on the lord, Jesus Christ, and thou shall be saved and thy house tonight. You can receive Christ.
Fathers, husbands, wives, mothers, young people, children, you can receive Christ and go back to your home tonight for giving of your mistakes in failures and sins of the past, walking with a renewed life because Christ has died for you and risen again from the dead.
And offers all of you tonight. Forgiveness, reconciliation to god and reconciliation to each other.
Bill and Joanne, Ying, or a moment ago, told us how Christ had come into their home and it changed their home and changed their lives.
Christ can do the same for you if you let him.
You say, but what do I have to do? First, you must repent of your sin.
That means you’re willing to say, oh god I’ve sinned. I’m willing to give up my sins.
I’m willing to change my way of life. That’s repentance.
And secondly, by faith, you receive him as your savior, you cannot understand it intellectually all the way.
But by faith you receiving and you’re willing to go back and live a clean wholesome life before god Now this doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect.
You’ll still have pressures and problems of every kind, perhaps more than before.
But god will be in your heart.
He will be there to help you every day and every hour to do one of the greatest tasks he ever assigned us, to have our part in a home somewhere.
As a son, as a daughter, as a father, as a mother, as a husband, and a wife, I’m going to ask you to receive husband and wife can come together tonight.
Whole families can come together. Servicemen come and receive Christ as your lord and your savior.
And leave this stadium tonight knowing that the past is forgiven and that you’re going to start leading a new life and a different life.
From tonight on. I’m going to ask you to do something hard.
I’m going to ask you to get up out of your seat right now. 100 of you.
Get up out of your seat and come and stand in front of this platform and say tonight, I receive Christ.
You may be a member of the church. You may not be a member of any church.
You may be Catholic or Protestant or whatever you may be, but you need Christ in your heart.
I’m going to ask you to come.
And after you’ve all come and stood here, we’re going to have a prayer, and I’m going to say a word to you.
We’re going to give you some literature, then you can go back and join your friend.
If you’re with friends or relatives, they’ll wait on you. You get up and come.
Why do I ask you to come forward?
Because every person Jesus called in the new estimate, he called publicly.
Just as when you got married, you said I will publicly.
So you come to Christ tonight and say, I will. Publicly.
That settles it and seals it in your life. You get up and come.
We’re going to wait on you right now. Quick from all over the stadium, hundreds of you.
You may be a member of the choir. You may be a serviceman visiting wherever you’re from, you come.
You can make that same commitment right where you are.
Just pick up the phone and call the number you see on your screen.
Special friends are waiting to talk with you and pray with you about this most important decision.
100 of people here in the Alamo stadium in San Antonio, Texas are filing down in front of this platform from all over this stadium.
To make their commitment, Jesus Christ and ask him to forgive their sin and change their life.
You can make that same commitment that had been watching by television.
In your home, in a bar, in a hotel lobby, wherever you may be, you can say yes to Christ.
Ask him to come into your heart and cleanse you and make you a new person.
I hope that you’ll do it. God bless you.
If you just prayed that prayer with my father or if you have any about a relationship with Jesus Christ.
I would just call that number that is on the screen.
There’ll be someone there to talk with you, pray with you, and answer those questions.
And remember, god loves you.
If you would like to commit your life to Jesus Christ, please us right now toll free at 18777724559.
That’s 187 77724559.
Or you can write to us at Billy Graham, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, department C, show North Carolina 28201.
Or you can contact us on the web 247 at Peace with odd. Tv.
We’ll get the same helps to you that we give to everyone who responds at the invitation.
On behalf of Franklin am and the Billy Graham evangelistic Association.
Thank you for watching, and thank you for your prayers.
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