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From Trauma to Hope

A night of soul care with you and Jesus.

Mom. What? When did you fall in love with Christmas? Because it is like your thing.
Let me tell you, I have always loved Christmas. Like when you were little Santa Claus was my dude.
Yeah, I’ve always loved Christmas. I love the, the lights and the the Christmas trees.
And then when I was growing up, I always had a little speech I had to learn at Sunday school and we would go to the little Christmas program on Christmas Eve and um the carols.
Oh Holy Night, Silent Night, all express some type of joy that gave you permission to be happy.
You were telling everybody Mary, you know, and um Children laughing, you know, people passing grieving smile after smile.
I really bought into it. And so I still believe it. I love Christmas. You do?
I love that during the holidays, you really lean into the like permission to be happy.
I do which I feel like after a year. Yes, permission.
Sometimes you need permission to be happy like it doesn’t come naturally anymore. It’s hard.
Um Can you think of moments outside of the holidays, maybe even this year where you had to give yourself?
Permission to be happy. Yeah. Well, when you all took me on my trip for my birthday?
Oh, gosh, you all surprised me. I got on the plane.
I didn’t know where I was going until the people announced that we were on our way to Vegas.
And then I just stayed in my room all week and just relaxed.
And then that Thursday night, I think it was Thursday night or Friday night before my birthday husband says I’m gonna take you to dinner.
And so I asked him, what do I want? You know, what do you want me to wear?
He packed all my clothes. I didn’t pack anything. So I said, what do you want me to wear?
And I put on my little outfit and went downstairs and was just really excited and hit that corner and all of the five were there, all of my Children, my my um not my grandchildren, just my Children and my loved ones.
Uh my son in law, my daughter in law were all there for me, for my birthday. You were there.
I was there. You, you remember I was so so permitted to be happy.
And then the next night you all took me to a concert and I was just, you know, love and I thought, yeah, family is here and it’s love.
And then, oh my God, it was John Legend and I had the best birthday ever, the best birthday ever.
And I, I was given permission to enjoy the moment and um celebrate 67 years of life that had been so calamitous.
Those 67 years have been filled with ups and downs. But the good times outweigh the bad times.
And that was a reminder to me to be happy more often.
I feel like the more that I have come into womanhood, I have a boo.
Basically, basically, that’s where this is heading. That’s basically where this is hit tomato, tomato.
I don’t, it’s just why like, OK, so I have questions for you about like just womanhood because I feel like I am getting to know you as a woman, not just as my mother.
So like, did you have body image issues?
Like, were you like, is this a new thing because we have social media or were you constantly looking at your body and judging and comparing it?
Yeah, usually, but there were always those little s that would remind you that you didn’t meet up to the standard of the cheerleaders or you know, I couldn’t kick my leg higher than That’s right.
You know, and then I mean, I think peer pressure has always been with us.
They just started naming it bullying or they started naming it shaming.
But I think that peer pressure and body images have always been before us because of the Miss America pageant.
And everybody always wants to celebrate this idealistic beauty. And what is that?
You know, and you had to exhibit some type of talent.
So what happens when your beauty is inward and nobody crowns you for that and no one could really see that unless they engage in a conversation with you.
And so yeah, body imaging, I I being a granny now, I just feel it.
It’s and possible for me to look at the girls and not want to pronounce love and beauty on them and just celebrate the gifts that they are and, and, and just encourage them to be smart and be good people, character.
You know, even with the women that I work with at the church, my focus is mainly on the girls because I feel like the girls kind of get caught up in everything that’s anti, you know, celebration of yourself and self image and uh celebrating your, your, your brain and not your body.
And I, I just, you know, I just love, I get to do it over and the fact that you want to call yourself a woman never negates the fact that you’re my baby girl.
And when I look at you, I still see booties, I still see bows and I still see lace.
I can still hear myself saying walk like mommy when we come in church.
So even though you are a woman, a beautiful woman, I feel like I still have the opportunity to celebrate you as my little girl.
That’s important to me. I, I think it’s important to me.
I think every woman should have but I recognize she doesn’t, but I think every woman should have a space whether it’s with her family or her friends where she’s allowed to, like, feel like a little girl to giggle like a little girl.
I’ve been on a journey lately of, like, really trying to discover my joy.
I think when I got, you know, pregnant with Kai, I think to a certain, to a certain extent though, even before I got pregnant with Kay, I think even maybe moving here and like trying to figure out where I fit.
I just don’t know that I’ve had a lot of opportunities to just feel joy.
And I think the more responsibility, the more stress, the more pressure I’m under, I can be really frustrated and overwhelmed, feeling like it’s just pain point after pain point, trouble after trouble, issue after issue.
And I’m trying to be intentional about like finding the things that bring me joy incidentally, I woke up this morning at five to box and it brought me joy and I did not think that me waking up at five could lead to anything, anything like joy that, that feels impossible.
But it did. What brings you joy?
I think, well, when you said boxing, I thought that’s a stress relief and you’re talking about bring you joy is when you can do something that breaks up the stress and the momentum of pain and agony because being in ministry, we do have to deal with people whether they’re mourning or dancing, you know, and that time to weep and a time to laugh sometimes it gets out of kilter to me.
And so, um when you said that about moving to Dallas and you losing your joy there, maybe I think that we were all so busy trying to find out who we are.
Now that one of the things that I relied upon solely for my mom was to anchor you all.
And I got to spinning like a top and I wasn’t able to focus on the fact that you all were spinning too.
And, um, that I think if I have any regret from moving to Dallas, it’s the fact that I didn’t get to anchor my babies.
OK. So I’ve been in therapy and that makes me wanna cry good.
I did not, I never sat with my, with daddy until we moved here.
We all sat together every single Sunday and I got separated physically and emotionally it seems, and I got swept up in the tide and I didn’t even notice that you all were being swept along too.
That’s, that’s very sad to me. That’s very sad to me.
And then in less than a year’s time, I lost my mother and I was instructed spiritually to become to you all what she was to me.
And by then I had nothing to anchor me.
And sickness came and calamities came and then your paternal grandmother got sick.
It was a lot, it was a lot.
And so in retrospect, I can see where that would have just stripped your joy.
I’m sorry I am. And you never said that to me before.
Yeah, I think sometimes like I did that, I did that.
I did.
You forgive me, please?
I think that um the reason why like it feels is fresh one.
I think being back in Dallas after living in L A and like with this adult perspective of how like how easy it was to get lost so easy.
And I think sometimes like I can still feel that loneliness of being like in a world that’s bigger than me.
And like, where do I fit? And how do I measure up?
And I think I, I know that it started then. Wow.
And I think I’ve spent so much time like thinking about just like the shame of my teen pregnancy and the issues with the teen pregnancy.
And I think that I’m having to really realize that like before I got pregnant, you were plugging in loneliness, you were plugging in loneliness and everyone had found a groove and it was the wrong groove.
I mean, you all didn’t go to children’s church.
I mean, there was 20 kids maybe and it turned into 500 all with hidden agendas and ulterior motives.
And I see that in retrospect, but I beseech you don’t let that happen with your kids.
And I think before you moved here I told you, make sure it’s for you and not for us and whatever is gonna make your kids feel safe and hold, do it.
Mhm. They need you. You needed me.
Husband needed me. Mother needed me. I shoot. Hello? Yeah.
But the calling and I don’t think it’s supposed to be like that.
I think that’s why a lot of pastors kids grow up and they hate church because it takes your, your, it takes your whole life and I’m not sure that we’re supposed to be bearing that cross.
I’m not sure. Yeah.
And I think it’s like, I think it’s a little bit of a cop out to just be like, well, God, you know, God’s gonna take care of them, like God is gonna take care of them, but like God’s taking care of them through you.
That’s your assignment. Your first calling. That’s your first calling.
I have to tell you, um, I know a lot of women who have experienced trauma from their childhood experiences and I think, I think this generation is like labeling it now and, you know, I think we’re the generation that’s gone to therapy more than any other generation.
So we have language though. I think that, you know, generational trauma has existed in families for a long time.
But like what you just did, I’ve, so I’ve been debating as like, this has come up in my body and in my feelings and being here, like, do I say something?
Do I not say something? And it felt like it wouldn’t be worth saying anything because it’s like we can’t change it.
There’s nothing you can do about it.
But for you to acknowledge it, I think that what most adult Children want is just the acknowledgment and that’s fair and, and that’s why I say to you do what you can do with your Children because I’ll never hear my mother say anything to me that will help my trauma.
I just have to live with that beast.
And flying home last night, I was watching the movie Beast and I was reading the subtitles because I despise airpods.
And so I was like just reading the caption of how he was trying to protect his Children and, and bring a mother that was no longer in their lives to rest in between them.
And, and so everything that you can do to anchor your Children, you only get one opportunity and then they’re sitting across from you or your mom’s not here.
So everything that you have that I can say, I’m sorry for to you.
Oh my God, I will be found doing it. I can make up stuff to be sorry for.
I can live stuff to be sorry for because when I saw you, I think that was the first time I was able to say it to you.
I’ve said it to myself time and time again.
I dare not say it, you know, because it would be like, oh, so you weren’t in the will of God.
All of those questions come up. Yeah. Yeah. I’ve thought about that too.
I’m like, well, how can I help someone else?
But it’s like, it’s hard because there’s this image that no matter how many times you tell times you tell people, we’re just like you, we don’t mean just like that.
We’re a family. We mean we’re messing it up and picking it up and patching it up and to give it voice, feels like people are gonna use it as a weapon against us.
But the truth is that like we were passing on trauma we didn’t know about either.
Like we were lost and lonely and needed ourselves and needed to be there for the kids too. It’s funny.
So I’m reading this book that my therapist gave me and it’s like, um the titles a bit of a read, but it’s like adult Children of emotional immature parents.
You, you shared that with me but you know, I’m reading you. No, I was too. Ok.
And I’m thinking as much as I’m like, ok, maybe I experienced some of this.
Then I’m thinking about me parenting Malachi and I’m like, I know he experienced it too.
Oh, isn’t that something that book mailed me to my chair? Isn’t that something?
But it also was cathartic in as much as I felt that it’s not all my fault.
I felt the same. I felt like it’s not all my fault but you, that’s why you gotta talk to me.
You gotta talk to me because I can’t tell my mother. You really jacked that up sister. Ok.
But like, how can I have that conversation while also protecting the fact that you did a lot of things.
Well, oh, I know that what I did.
Well, you always tell me that part, but you didn’t tell me the things that pricked your heart because I don’t know if you think I’m ultra sensitive and I can’t handle it.
But it’s good for me to know it’s good for me to know it won’t hurt my feelings much a little bit, but not to the detriment of your health.
When you said that those, uh, Dexter shared with us the other day that things manifest in your body that are stress related or mental term or torment and they, they manifest in your health.
And you know, I’ve had so many health issues and then I thought, hm, so I don’t wanna do to you what was done to me?
That’s where we draw the line. What was the book that we read? It?
Stops here, it stops here, it stops here.
And so if we do have to do side bars, if we have to do trips to vail, if we need to just sit in the car on the parking lot, whatever we need to do, I want you to better because not only are you healing your Children, you’re healing the nation.
So anything that I can do to help demystify your journey? I want to do that starting today.
Merry Christmas. That is, that is definitely giving Merry Christmas that is definitely giving you I do not.
This is not what this conversation was supposed to be. I I know it’s not, obviously not.
Obviously, this is where we need it to be. You said something about your mom not being here.
And I thought about people whose moms are not present and they’re carrying that trauma, that pain, those unspoken words or their mom is here but not open like you are.
There’s nothing um They don’t feel like they could facilitate a conversation that would end up producing healing.
How have you acknowledged identified? Comforted yourself in the absence of your mom being here?
Well, you know, I’m not deep and mysterious. So you’re a little deep and mysterious.
Yeah, I can be, but I’d rather be realistic and transparent.
And so having siblings are a constant reminder of some of the things that I was not able to be weaned from but just snatched from, I felt like my mother was snatched from me.
And any questions that I have regarding her or my childhood go as blanks.
You know, unless I talk to my neighbor who’s 100 and three years old and I, I need to call her, oh my God.
I need to call her any time. I feel like I need an anchor.
I call her and I’ve been needing an anchor recently.
Um, somebody that I can trust as a maternal figure because when my mother died, I found myself looking at women that were dressed sharp like she did or when my auntie died, I, I was looking for someone that loved me unconditionally.
And so, uh, now I try to give that to people.
I don’t try to make people be more than what they are. I accept them where they are.
And if per chance I can elevate them, I do and if they want to be left alone, I can do that as well.
And, and so with my mother being gone, I, I, my mother, you know, I’m my mother, you’re my mother.
Sometimes Dexter is my mother, sometimes Jamar is my mother. Sometimes Ella is my mother, Mackenzie’s mama.
I, I find what I need in y’all.
What do you miss the most about her truth? Mm.
I’m, I miss not knowing the truth. What do you mean by that?
I don’t, um, know, like from the age six months till I graduated high school, my mother came to see me on weekends sometimes and I would see her in the summer.
And so I was raised alone with my aunt and uncle, apart from four other siblings and I don’t know why.
I don’t know why.
And um, and you know, I could be waxed deep and mysterious and say God had a plan for my life, but I wanted to know, what was her reasoning?
Why? And I would stand in the door and watch her drive away and, uh, get on the school bus the next morning.
And they would say, well, MS Ruth is not your mom.
And I was like, I know that and everybody else was with their mom.
Good, bad or ugly, but not me. And I don’t know why. I don’t know why.
So, I missed the truth. I miss the truth and, um, you know, therapies knew, but I don’t see what the therapist could say to me other than forgive her.
And so, um, yeah, I guess that’s what I have to do. Huh? Yeah.
But I don’t know, a therapist would probably say, like, really sitting in those feelings and not just, like, getting over it.
I can’t get over it because I don’t know my why, but my, why to get over it is because otherwise I’ll be just stymied.
I’ll be in a quagmire just, um, feeling like I have rejection issues.
And so I already walk into a situation thinking, you know, they don’t want to be bothered with me or nobody sees me.
Nobody cares. And, um, as a child I would give my favorite baby doll away for somebody to just take the head and pull it off.
You know what I’m saying? So that acceptance piece is big for me and I became an, I’m an introvert.
I was raised alone. So I’m an introvert.
So it’s easy for me to go inside and close the door and then being raised by an aunt and uncle who, every weekend you heard guns and you saw blood flying because they were what they call domestic violence.
Then now I don’t know what they called it then just acting a fool in my humble opinion.
I thought, why, why am I standing between two drunks who were fighting?
He hits her in the head with a poker, blood goes shooting across the room.
You know, my neighbors are reaching over the yard saying don’t do that in front of that child.
And so like when I tell you, I am really a mixed bale of emotions that this, I feel like I’m in therapy right now because I’m just running my mouth and I’m just regurgitating my past.
And so um I don’t know how I got happy from Christmas because that was would be some of the biggest brawls baby.
I wonder if it’s like you playing out what you wish Christmas would have been could be cause you, yeah, you go all the way in.
I go all the way in.
That’s when I found out that’s another episode of finding out when Santa is not real.
Oh Yeah. It was a Christmas Eve and I was all tucked in and playing like I was asleep and then I heard all of this ruckus and I thought they were fighting.
So I got up and went running not far because it was a little three bedroom house running to the living room in.
It was my aunt putting stuff under the tree and I’m like, man.
And I thought what I mean, my drunk uncle would walk around because we had snow in West Virginia, eat the cookies, drink the milk, make snow prints all around the house.
I thought man, Santa not real either. Like wait a minute, wait a minute.
All of my little realities are just crumbling. You know, I don’t have parents. I don’t have Santa.
I have the Easter bunny. I mean, wow. Yeah.
So I think there’s a little girl that’s really trapped inside of me that relives Christmas like I wanted to be.
Thank you for that Pastor Sarah. I’m just listening. Go. You’re helping me.
And I mean, you gave us a different experience too because I do think amidst like all of the traveling and separation that we experienced throughout the year that like Christmas was the one time we could count on like really feeling like family and that’s all you asked for.
It’s like we don’t want anything but just us because you were tired of the multitudes and they’re not somebody call us mom or dad.
Oh, Yeah, that was our first.
But I think it’s because we were wondering, do we still matter? You know what I mean?
Like, do we matter anymore? Like, literally like it?
Yeah, it was different and I know we’re older now so we have an older perspective.
But I think honoring the fact that that’s when we were younger it was like, we don’t matter anymore.
I hate it. I’m so sorry. It’s all good. No, it’s not all good. I hate that.
I hate that. And that’s, that’s a word for us, older generation that we didn’t get it.
All right. You know, and everybody wants to say, well, you had it a whole lot better than we did.
Maybe, maybe. No, it’s funny.
I was uh talking to someone and I was thinking that same thing I was like, you know, we, our parents, we were in a two parent home, we had a roof over our head.
We weren’t worried about meals. I know the early on before we couldn’t remember like we had the food stamps and the lights been out.
But for the most, we’re not food stamps anymore. Honey. It’s like a debit card. Thank you.
Thank you. You don’t have the little life and you know that because I was blind.
But now I see, look at, I, we had a little book and they would have the nomination on them and one would be $10 and I forget the denominations.
I wanna stay on track. I’m just telling you what food stamps aren’t anymore. Ok.
I appreciate, I appreciate the update, the software update.
Oh, but I do think that a lot of times we minimize what we went through because we compare it to someone else’s uh, life struggle, someone else’s issues.
And I think in the process of doing that, that we missed the opportunity to acknowledge our own pain.
You know what I mean? And to thank God for his faithfulness when you said that you read the book and it helped you feel like I wasn’t wrong.
That’s how I felt too. Like I was hungry, like I did need something and like maybe I didn’t get it filled from the right places.
But then the need was ok to have, it was ok to have that need. Yes.
And, and also know that that unquenchable desire for love and attention does not go away because you deserve it.
You deserve it.
You deserved it as a child from your parents, you deserve it as an adult, from your siblings, from your employees.
You deserve it. It’s not greed or selfishness.
It’s something that the desire to be loved is natural to be affirmed is natural.
So no, but when you’re married to not married to, when you’re raised by emotional immature adults, I love it emotionally immature adults, meaning that we’re not even aware of what we’re doing.
I, I really like it and, and sitting in those emotions and owning that I didn’t get it right.
Is, is good for, for me to know that I can’t emphasize enough that you forgive me for that.
You know, and one of the things that I lived with and sometimes occasionally think about is how I felt when my mother died.
Suddenly, I felt that, um, guilt, I felt guilty because I was out of town when she took sick and nobody told me the truth about the severity of her illness.
And when I got back, she was on life support and she was paralyzed from the neck down.
And I walked in that IC U room right past her bed to a window.
And I could not differentiate between the rain outside and the tears falling from my eyes.
It was all just a blair.
And um the guilt of that still makes me just feel like if I had been here, something different would have happened.
Guilt is a terrible thing. That’s why I so appreciate you sharing your heart with me.
I mean, you’ve never said that to me, never said that to me. And I don’t feel defensive.
I feel sad. I feel sorry and I, I want you to do differently.
Well, I will tell you where we miss moments as a kid.
When I was going through my toughest season moving into womanhood. You were the only reason why I survived.
Like the only reason why I’m not on drugs. The only reason why I’m not in jail.
The only reason why, like, I could show up and be there for Kai is because you showed me unconditional love when I was waitressing at the strip club.
Like, meeting me and paying for my groceries while I was like, waiting for the next night, tips to come in.
Like we did miss some things. But man, we also got a lot of things. Right.
Oh, we got a lot of things, right. I was fighting. Yeah, I was fighting.
It’s hard to fight who you love. You know what else?
I think, I think that like a lot of people don’t want to go into this closet because we in, we in the closet, we in the closet.
Let me tell you, um, one because I think they feel like, you know, if I go in there, I’ll never come out.
But I think that I think even right now that our relationship is like gotten tighter um, in the process of having this conversation.
But for me, in a weird way, I can’t even explain why it helped me to get closer to God because I think I realized the many ways that God covered because the end where we are right now still looks like everything was there all along.
And it makes me realize like God made the difference when I look at women thou are loose like and that passing of the baton moment and all of the different ways my life could have played out.
The math doesn’t even make sense except for the grace of God in the midst of it. All.
You and me, you and me.
When I see the before and the after Saturday with woman to woman, we were talking about glory to glory.
And it’s that two part that people don’t realize that you have to go through something to get to that next realm of glory.
That is not just back to back.
It’s not glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, it’s glory too, you know, and then you have to traverse whatever that is that you’ve got to go through.
And when I see your ministry gift and I see you as a newborn.
I know that God orchestrated it all and it worked for our good even though we weren’t working with him.
Sometimes, sometimes we were anti like, but he was like, you know what, I’m gonna get some glory. Hallelujah.
I’m gonna get some glory out of this. And now I can’t see the glory without the entire story.
It made the glory just the climax of a wonderful experience and woman thou art loose.
Let me tell you, I started looking for torches in July.
Let me tell you, I pulled them up on the picture. You have stressed me out with this.
Let me tell you, let me tell you, I started July 23rd, 2021 2021 looking for torches right after your birthday.
And I was sending them to everybody.
I was sending them to everybody and I read up about the Olympics and the significance of the torch and the first torch.
Why did y’all set me up like that? Y’all think that would be too much. It was glory to glory.
Y’all did nothing. And y’all thought, well, you know what Dexter gave me a warning.
Dex was like, sis, I’m just telling you right now something’s gonna happen and it’s gonna be ugly.
He, he didn’t lie but it was worse than I could have prepared for.
How did you feel in that moment?
My God from the minute he started addressing you from the stage and you started going like, don’t do this, please don’t.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He literally had to tell me he was like, Sarah come to the stage, come to the stage because I was like, this is about to be overkill.
I know it is. It’s gonna be and I’m gonna be the one that is overkill.
Yeah, he was kind of sort of after you.
But what’s so amazing about it was to see when he started affirming you.
Yeah, as a daddy as a father of the movement and as you as his successor, girl, let me tell you, you could not have paid me any amount of money not to be there.
And just to see you stride toward that stage and I thought you were learning to walk and you would walk and you would fall and you would walk and you would fall until you could walk again.
And you took those stairs and you took that stage and he started pronouncing glory to glory, to glory.
I think in that moment, there was an element of forgiveness asking of you because that needs to happen too.
And so for not believing when we, when you, it was difficult to see the end when he would just come in the house.
Like I can’t, I can’t with her.
When I tell you I can’t with her, I man, I man, I can’t with her, I cannot with her.
And then to have the torch given to you and it’s an eternal flame which means that it was lit before you got here before he got here.
That’s what the Olympians do. They pass it across the world and then they pass it, which means that you have the opportunity to do the same oh Legacy moment.
And then when we walked off the stage and you thought I’m gonna stand here and cry.
And Holy Spirit said, mm no. And you said basically your favorite.
Let’s go there, let’s go. Let’s go. Girl.
Let me tell you, I know that the angels were sick of me because I was shouting them down.
And then the first night you preached and you came down off the stage before the torch and started laying hands on your Children.
I mean, the power of God was so dense. You could actually see the glory.
Oh, it was amazing. I’m still like in awe of it, of it all.
Um But girl, yeah, I feel like so, you know, 2023 you know, we’ve got, at this 20230.20 plus 1000 women registered for conference.
I’ve got 10 people registered. Are you serious? Serious VIP? I want 10. OK. Of you.
I think I’m most excited though about like building into that moment.
I really feel like there’s a generational blessing, a generational conversation, a generational healing and breakthrough connected to like this moment.
I love that. You know, this happened while dad is still here, while you are still here because it creates an opportunity for us to have dialogue and to allow other women, other mothers, other grandmothers to pass the baton to pass the baton of healing, to pass the baton of wholeness.
Even if they’re barely holding on to the baton themselves, maybe it feels like just a match because they’re just starting it.
But they’ve got a daughter or a friend or sister, they want to pass it on to.
I feel like one of the gifts of just women coming together in general is our ability to have these types of conversations.
Even you saying that you’re looking for like a maternal figure who can say some of the things that you need to hear I think that that can only happen in the environment of like woman to woman.
And one of the things I’m really excited about with 2023 is how we are allowing woman to woman and woman evolve to become sisters in a major way.
It’s important. I’m excited. What does that? What does this mean to you?
Listen, when we started talking about woman to woman and woman evolved present, hey, you, that spoke volumes to me because I think that a lot of times we get it a little bit twisted.
I think the dichotomy between uh female relationships, woman to woman is that not only are you mentoring me?
I mean, the older women teach the younger women, but the younger women also teach us.
You’ve taught us how to come out of our shame and uh not be imprisoned by things in our past that had us um bound.
And so um when you say inside every woman, there’s a little girl and then inside every little girl, there’s a woman.
And I, I think that it’s a conversation that’s mutually beneficial.
I think that the things that you tell me that raise my self esteem or my awareness of the things that I say that may be too harsh for your generation.
It helps me become a softer parent, your gentle parenting. Yes. Yeah. And you’re so good at it. Yes.
Right now, right? You are, you are killing the gentle parenting game, right?
Now, in this moment you were open, you weren’t defensive. You made room for my feelings. It was powerful.
It’s never too late to gentle parent. Are you kidding me? OK.
Um So you may be wondering at home, what does it mean for a woman to woman and a woman evolve to be coming together?
That means that this hate you that we started during the pandemic.
Once a month is going live, we want to see you in Dallas Texas for woman to woman and a woman evolve presents.
Hey, you live. It’s gonna be on Friday nights once a month and the third, the third Friday of every month.
Don’t you out book me? I will, are you gonna be gone?
Um I will not be gone on most of I will be there for all, almost, almost all of them.
I will be there. There is one. No, I am coming to the one in February. I was with mom.
Stop looking at the camera. Um Any who listen, we cannot wait to have these type of moments to facilitate these types of conversations between the generations, woman to woman.
How can we grow? How can we evolve? How do we get this thing? Right?
For the little ones for the girl evolves coming behind. Absolutely. Absolutely. I was looking for a maternal figure. Little.
Did I know that it didn’t have to be someone that was chronologically older than me, but that maternity is birthed in every woman, every girl child has the opportunity to reproduce after her own kind.
And so I find, um, as I said, Ella mckenzie, Havana, Brianna, all of these little people that I would call m actually have a word.
They have a sobering word. They haven’t lost their ability to believe that all things are possible.
Um I think, um, Pastor Phillips was talking about Olivia carrying a stuffed caterpillar thinking that one day it was gonna eventually it’s supposed to turn into a butterfly.
And so if we could just hold on to Santa Claus, you know, the, the things that make us really believe that there’s something good that can happen to us through the hands of anybody that would bring us a gift or give us a gift or, or say something that resonates in our hearts for years to come and not just the traumatic things that people say, but the good things sometimes you say things to me that make me look in the mirror and think yes, you know, you go girl, you know, and so those things that you pour into me, the clothes that you buy me and, and you know, the the matching pajamas and, and things that you do for me and, and the things that Cora does for me when she talks about the little girl and me and writing a letter to the little girl and me and writing a letter to my mother and saying things to her that I wish that she had said to me.
You know, the I, I’m, I’m benefiting, I’m reaping the benefits of not having a physical mother, but I’ve got all of these little mini mamas that pour into me.
You make me so excited to just gain more wisdom and to live open hearted in my journey of evolving because I really think that you’ve got it together.
No, no, I mean it um no, I was a drama major. Is this a show?
And so as soon as the cameras go off, what’s happening, I’m gonna take you in the bathroom and I’m gonna let her.
Well, thank you for coming to you. You.
I hope that I make it into 2023. If I do make it into 2023 can I just ask you?
Do you have like a word for 2023? Like what’s your mantra? Like, what are you excited about?
What’s your 2023 energy? 2023.
I’ve already started writing 2023 checks and 12 23 checks and 2023 checks because I’m claiming that the prosperity that’s going to rest in my body will rest in my mind, will rest in my spirit, will rest in my heart all year long and no matter what that portion of two glory has to be, I’ll be steadfast and unmovable and believe in God.
I forgot in 2022 my brother died and was brought back to life.
Now in 2023 God is going to remind me that He can resurrect those things that I counted as dead.
Come on somebody. I love that 2023.
My word is hope so I feel like even when you just said that, that there’s expectation, there is hope that I really do believe that God is about to bring just revival that there’s gonna be an awakening a reconciliation that we’re going to be like, wow, this is why this is why and we can do it and we can roll up our sleeves and get it done.
So for us at woman evolve, our word is hope and I’m excited about all of the many ways.
We’re going to experience one another and experience God’s presence. Hey, you, hey, you.